Special Kindle e-book version for MS Ruth Smerchek and use by the Kansas City Southwest Clinical Society (KCSCS) Approved by the publisher and the author Three Points of Contact 12.5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Life and Weather Any Storm Gregory Q. Cheek This Kindle E-Book is intended for use by the Healthcare Professionals and Staff of the Kansas City Southwest Clinical Society. Sale of this book prohibited. Contact the author for additional copies. Dated: 9 MAY 2020 Gregory Q. Cheek Three Points of Contact 12.5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Life and Weather Any Storm Gregory Q. Cheek Three Points of Contact 12.5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Life and Weather Any Storm © 2015 Gregory Q. Cheek All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any other means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews, book reviews, and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Printed in the United States of America Formatted and edited by Kristen Corrects, Inc. Second proofread by Gillian Burgess Cover art design by Rade Rokvic Cartoons by Hannah Nyangoma Giesekus Author Portrait by Jay Greene Photography First edition published 2015 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Cheek, Gregory Q. www.gregcheekspeaks.com Three points of contact: 12.5 ways to jumpstart your life and weather any storm / Gregory Q. Cheek ISBN-13: 978-0692347027 paperback ISBN-10: 069234702X paperback LCCN: 201590652 ISBN: 978-0-9863598-1-1 e-book CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform Library of Congress Control Number: 2015901692 Interior Design by: Kristen House of Kristen Corrects, Inc. [email protected] In an effort to support local communities, raise awareness and funds, a percentage of all book sales of this book will be presented to the following two organizations: (1) The University of Kansas Cancer Center Department of Radiation Oncology, Otolaryngology and the Head and Neck Support Group (SPOHNC). (2) Desert Manna, a Barstow, California-based nonprofit organization that provides housing, food, and alternative opportunities to homeless and disadvantaged individuals. Get involved today www.desertmanna.com or www.kucancercenter.org Storms are a way of life! You don’t have to outrun a storm. Act Now! Be properly prepared and make the storm work for you! Gregory Q. Cheek Author Three Points of Contact Contents Prologue i Introduction ii My Initial Three Points Scenario ii The “Most Important Tool” as You Read this Book: Your Personal Journal/Notebook v Pre-Launch Briefing v The First Point of Contact v The Second Point of Contact vii The Third Point of Contact viii 12.5 xii Live Every Day with Enthusiasm xii O P T I M I S M 2 You Must Be Relentless 3 The Bathroom Floor 4 You Are Relentless 7 Act or Be Acted Upon—Critical! 7 Resilient Address of Hard Knocks – 5345 Madison Avenue 8 Is There Really Always Tomorrow? 9 Manage Your Self-Talk 12 Notice When Negative Self-Talk Starts and Embrace Your Opportunities 13 Defend Your Schloss 14 Clean Your Hard Drive 15 Verbal Mantra and Bob Hope’s Drill Sergeant 15 No Negative Thoughts—You Are Unstoppable! 17 Why Not Me? 18 No Pity Parties 19 What is Your Bulletin Board Material (BBM)? 20 Practice Karma Daily 23 Feng Shui Eyes 24 Pay it Forward Every Day 25 Create Cancer Center Karma (Karma Squared) 25 Integrate Thanks into Your Daily Life 31 Just Be Thankful 32 The Handwritten Thank You Note 33 Thank You Notes Are Good for Your Health 34 The Activity Importance of Thank You Notes in the Digital Age 35 The Benefits of Sending Thank You Notes 36 How to Write the Perfect Thank You Note 36 Recommended Read: A Simple Act of Gratitude 37 V I S U A L I Z A T I O N 41 Turn It All Off and Empty Your Cup 42 Empty Your Cup 43 Cancer Hates Stillness 43 Coach V Had it Right! 44 Find Your Yoga and Stillness 45 Find Your Happy Place 47 Be in the Top 3 Percent Now! 50 Get Serious about Goal Setting 51 Cancer and Goal Setting 51 You Are About to Be in the Top Three Percent 52 The Myths about Goal Setting 56 You Have Two Choices in Your Life 57 Goal-Setting Routine 59 Establish Trust and Belief in Yourself! 62 The Connection between Trust, Belief, and Being Happy 63 Trust 63 Five Common Core Values in Building Trust 65 The Law of Belief 69 Resilient as a Duffel Bag 73 The Duffel Bag 74 My Own Duffel Bag 74 When the Lock on the Duffel Bag Breaks 75 Resiliency Works: A Lifetime of On-The-Job Experience 77 Your Basic-Issue Duffel Bag 79 A C T I O N 90 Make Plans to Travel Today 91 Hands Down, I’m Alive Because of Travel! 92 Travel and Passport 92 One Day Island 94 Dreaming of Travel 95 Auf Geht's! (Time to Go, Move Out!) 96 Carry Your Ruck at All Times 99 Just My Ruck, Please! 100 What is a Ruck? 101 Three Points of Contact “A” Actual Ruck Items 102 The “B” Ruck Items 105 Upgrade Your Personal Healthcare Plan 111 Take Full Responsibility for Your Health 112 No Excuses—Cancer Was My Fault 113 Cancer Diagnosis 114 The Standard in Cancer Care: 116 The University of Kansas Cancer Center 116 Just Start Moving—Find Your Activity and Get Back in the Game! 117 Walk Your Way to Amazing Health! 118 Make Walking a Habit—Just Like in Europe 119 Set Yourself a Goal 120 Mineral Water, Natural Water, and Cut out the Sodas 120 Juicing 121 My Thyroid Is Gone…And I Feel Great! 121 Communicate Like Your Life Depends on It! 125 A Skill You MUST Conquer 126 Leverage Your Listening Skills 126 Face the Speaker and Focus on Eye Contact 127 Listen to the Words and Try to Picture What the Speaker is Saying 127 Remain Open-Minded 128 Wait to Ask Questions 128 Don’t Interrupt and Don’t Impose 128 Avoid “Stage Hogging” 129 Relax and Pay Attention 129 Put Yourself in the Speaker’s Place 130 Feedback Is Showing that You Care 130 Public Speaking for Success 130 Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse! 131 Stage Fright, Communication Apprehension, and Plain Nervousness 131 Extemporaneous Speaking 132 The Two-Minute Outline 132 Eye Contact 134 Speak with Passion 134 Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse! 135 1 2 . 5 137 Live Every Day with Enthusiasm 138 Enjoy Now—Live in the Moment 139 Enthusiastic People Live with Passion and Purpose 139 Dreams 140 Forgive and Wish Them Well 141 Opportunity Knocks Daily…Be Grateful and Ignore the Enthusiasm Killers 144 Beyond the Three Points of Contact 148 Appendix 150 Acknowledgements 152 About the Author 153 To my mother and my hero! Thanks for instilling an abundance of optimism into me every day of my life Erik, Nicole, and Stefanie Live with perpetual optimism, maintain crystal-clear vision, and always act on your instincts i Prologue Ground Zero The lowest moment of my life—two weeks removed from eight weeks of radiation and chemotherapy. The members of the Head and Neck Cancer Support Group at the University of Kansas Cancer Center hinted that the last couple of weeks after treatment would be the toughest. I thought the members of our support group were just exaggerating. I was ready for this—at least I thought I was. POW! My throat was completely closed and sealed after the third week of treatment. The discomfort intensified and the Fentanyl patch was losing its edge to hold back the raging pain in my body. I had no energy and was rapidly losing weight. The phlegm in my throat backed up more and more, and I was vomiting bile and blood from my empty stomach a couple times each hour. I’d lost the momentum and initiative that I had worked so hard to build over the previous ten weeks. I slept on the bathroom floor for three straight days and had just enough energy to vomit in a paper towel, lift my arm up, and push it over the top into the toilet. I lay back against the cool shower wall and looked outside the small second-floor bathroom window into the dark and cloudy Missouri night. My breath became shallow, and I could see a radiant light in the distance. The light got closer and closer before I suddenly…dozed off. We all find ourselves either entering, in the middle of, or leaving some kind of storm. Like a soldier’s compass, the enclosed lessons in the Three Points of Contact: 12.5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Life have guided me through every storm imaginable. They are all tried and tested in the toughest of times. May they bring you all the success and happiness you desire! ii Introduction My Initial Three Points Scenario Listen to Yourself and Maintain Three Points of Contact at All Times! “Best case scenario for you—and I wish I had better news—they will likely cut your tongue out, and you will sit on some beach until you die.” The voice, coming from my cell phone, beamed with arrogance. This was the first and last time I accepted any medical advice outside of my medical team. Earlier that day, I went through my first day of in-processing and initial assessments of my cancer diagnosis.