Shema Koleinu 5779 A compilation of Torah Insights, Experiences, and Wisdom from the Beth Jacob Community. i SPONSORS Shema Koleinu 5779 has been generously sponsored by: In loving memory of Dov ben Tzvi, z”l Shlomo and Sarah Faygie Berkowitz In loving memory of Mr. Sydney Fink (Shlomo ben Yisrael HaCohen), Mrs. Leah Fink (Leah bas Reuven), Mr. Sam Sheer (Shmuel ben Yisrael Noach) and Mrs. Claire Sheer (Chaya Sarah bas Moshe) Kay and Joseph Fink In loving memory of our beloved grandmother Martel Tzivia bas Elimelech, Marcy Shenk, on her 10th yahrzeit. Her love and devotion to our family will always be remembered. Tzina and Moshe Fishman In memory of Yehudis bas Shmuel Yisroel Shulamith and Jonathan Klein In memory of our parents Davida and Jonathan Levin In memory of Rabbi Avraham Schwartz on his second yahrtzeit (on Yom Kippur), Harav Avraham Aharon ben Yisrael Hakohen The Schwartz Family In memory of Liam bat Asher, on the occasion of her eighth yahrtzeit and in memory of Bluma bas Eliyah. Doreen and Burt Wittenberg ii TABLE OF CONTENTS Preface ......................................................................... .............................................4 The Last Rosh Hashanah ........................................Rabbi Emanuel Feldman ...........5 Leading the Leader .................................................Yonasan Gavant ........................7 The “Right” Name ...................................................Jennifer Friedman .....................9 Black Diamond .................................................Sarah Pachter ......................... 10 The Boy Now Has a Name ......................................Josh Joel ................................. 13 Be Careful What You Pray for, You May Get It ......Beruriah Sawyer ...................... 15 More Messages from the Road .............................David Kayser ........................... 17 Where’s Zaidy? ........................................................S.F. Berkowitz ......................... 20 Party in Portugal, Siyum in Mishnayos ..................Noach Levin ........................... 22 Cherish Your Loved Ones .......................................Chaya Schwartz ...................... 24 My Aliyah Year One ..........................................Julie Weinmann ...................... 26 Emulating Miriam Libby ..................................Mindy Caplan ......................... 29 How Snowey Came Home.................................. Helen Gerchikov .................... 31 Shabbos Story: You Never Know! ........................Chantza Lawrence .................. 32 Jury Time .........................................................Stephen Filreis ........................ 34 Ba’al Teshuvah Free Style ...................................Pam Williams ......................... 36 What are the Chances? .......................................Tziporah Wayne ..................... 38 Thank G-d It’s Us and Not Some Other Family ..... Sarah Pachter ......................... 40 Chanukah: Festival of Lights ..............................Beverly Fermon ...................... 42 3 Shema Koleinu PREFACE If this is your first time picking up a copy of Shema Koleinu - welcome to Beth Jacob! What you are holding in your hand is our thirteenth edition of a compilation of Rosh Hashanah essays, thoughts and musings from members of our community, assembled with the hope of adding understanding and meaning to these special days. Beth Jacob is the spiritual home to a wide range of congregrants, and Shema Koleinu celebrates this mix of threads and colors which comprise the fabric of our community. Taken as a whole, this publication is a beautiful expression of the wonderfully diverse community in which we live. We are sure you will find each article both insightful and thought provoking, and it is our hope that Shema Koleinu 5779 will serve as a source of inspiration on these Holy Days. We would like to thank the following people for their help in crafting this publication: Mrs. Tzina Fishman for the publication’s sophisticated design, and for the hours of work dedicated to the layout; Abbey Lewis for the back cover drawing; the Shema Koleinu sponsors for their generosity; and the contributing authors for sharing their thoughts to enrich our Rosh Hashanah experience. May Hashem hear (Shema) our voices (Koleinu) and grant us a happy, healthy, and sweet New Year. 4 THE LAST ROSH HASHANAH No one is guaranteed they’ll be around tomorrow Rabbi Emanuel Feldman Irate Ira: That’s how we knew him, this loyal member of my congregation for decades. Loyal, yes, but always complaining, always whining about something that was not right with the shul. It became a playful game between us. After every Shabbos davening I would ask Irate Ira how things went today, and on cue he would respond with his litany: the singing was off key, or one couldn’t hear the chazzan, or too many children making noise, or loud chatter out in the lobby, or I forgot to give mazel tov on so-and- so’s engagement, or the siddurim are old, they’re coming apart. Complaints were his lifeblood, as natural to him as breathing. The High Holidays were manna from Heaven for Ira, a gift basket of potential mistakes and oversights. Hundreds of things could go wrong, and for Ira they all did: The bathrooms were overcrowded; davening took too long; too much talking in shul; air- conditioning was too strong; air-conditioning was too weak; the acoustics need fixing; they should’ve given Eisenberg an aliyah; why does Goldberg get all those honors. After one Rosh Hashanah, in keeping with our traditional ritual, I asked Ira how things went, and I braced myself for the usual torrent. But Ira just smiled and said, “Rabbi, it was great. Everything was perfect.” “Ira,” I said, “you gotta be kidding. No problems this year, no critiques? Are you okay?” Ira smiled again. “Rabbi, something very funny happened to me during Mussaf. I was really upset the way the chazzan was stretching things out. It was getting late, the clock was moving, Rosh Hashanah is a long davening as it is, but he seemed totally oblivious to the time. Every single line was a different melody. Fine, congregational singing is nice, but enough already! With every passing minute I became more upset, really agitated, jumping out of my skin. Why was the chazzan kvetching so much? And then out of the blue something strange came over me. I said to myself: Ira, you’re already well over 80. How many more Rosh Hashanahs are you going to experience? Who knows, maybe you won’t even be around next Rosh Hashanah. No guarantees, Ira. You might never hear another magnificent Rosh Hashanah Mussaf ever again. This could be your very last one…. “You won’t believe this, Rabbi, but that idea sobered me up, calmed me down. I lost all my edginess, my jumpiness. All the tension and anxiety melted away, and all of sudden the words of the davening were speaking to me personally. I savored every 5 Shema Koleinu word, loved every sound. Because I realized that, yes, maybe, who knows, but this could theoretically be my last Rosh Hashanah Mussaf. I became transformed, like a new person.” “You mean that knowing that this might be your last High Holidays made you actually feel better?” “Exactly, because then I knew it was out my hands. G-d was in control, He was making the decisions, He was in charge. Like we say in Unesaneh Tokef, “Who will live and who will die, who will have a full length of years and who will not….” So if we take that seriously, a few extra minutes in shul on Rosh Hashanah should be a privilege, Rabbi, and not something to agitate us. Same goes for complaining: Next year I might not be around to complain about anything. So I’m gonna take each day as it comes. After all these years I finally figured it out. I’m not in charge. Someone Else is.” “Ira,” I replied, “ that is terrific. I wish you had told me all this earlier. You could have been the topic for my High Holiday sermon.” Ira is no longer in This World — he lived into his nineties — and I miss him and our regular sweet-sour “lemon squeeze” rituals, but that Mussaf epiphany did something to him. Irate Ira became genial Ira, and his perpetual scowl turned into a radiant smile. Ira taught a crucial lesson, one that applies not only to Rosh Hashanah but to every hour of every day. Whenever one is irritated by any of life’s myriad frustrations, bear in mind Ira’s lesson: Who knows if you’ll still be here tomorrow to experience this frustration? So ignore it and savor the positive in your life today, because there’s no guarantee that tomorrow you will be able to be frustrated about anything. Thank you, Ira, for what you taught us. I assume that when you finally reached the Heavenly spheres you didn’t find too much to complain about. (Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 682. Reprinted with permission from Mishpacha magazine.) 6 LEADING THE LEADER Yonasan Gavant Being privileged to lead the Yamim Noraim davening at Beth Jacob the past six years, the thought ‘leading the leader’ has dawned on me. Here I am, a grandson of Milton and Janice Gavant, a”h, married to a granddaughter of Abe and Faye Esral, yb”l, given the opportunity of leading this holy congregation on the holiest days of the year - a congregation which, in turn, led my own family and me to where we are today. Like many Jews in post-World War II Atlanta, the Gavants and Esrals were ‘Conservadox.’ They affiliated with the strong Conservative Judaism movement in Atlanta at the time. But they were always respectful and attentive to their