Jump #3: Ocarina of Time I managed to talk Lavine into buying the Ocarina of Time for me, but since it was gonna eat up her entire starting budget she gets to pick the next jump. Can't be too bad, right? She has to spend ten years there too. Yeah, I'm fucked. Anyway, things went about as well as I could expect, after waking up a kid again with all of my hard-won experience just a foggy memory. “Hello, Link! Wake up! The Great Deku Tree wants to talk to you! Link, get up!” “Urghh. I'm up, I'm up.” Navi went on to explain herself and I got the first of many “Hey! C'mon!”s. I mostly tuned her out since I was too busy freaking out about losing all my skills and training. A lifetime and a half of swordfighting, gone like that! It was like losing both my hands! ​ ​ And I couldn't use my favorite equipment either! I dragged my dragonbone guitar and glass armor out of my Warehouse, and I mean literally dragged. The glass armor was fitted to my adult body, not this pre-teen age, and I could barely lift the sword let alone swing it. I ignored Navi's questions about where it all came from and packed it away again, along with the 'treasures' I'd had since before I could remember, my hookshot and shield. I couldn't use them to their fullest potential just yet but I'd need them later. Wait...am I supposed to be Link, or Linkle? I know Link was androgynous, but he was definitely a dude. Fuck it, Jump-chan doesn't pay me enough to care. Using my new memories I got the tiny Kokiri Sword and went to the Great Deku Tree. I felt bad listening to him knowing he would die; there was something grand about him that the game just couldn't convey, like the world would be losing a piece of itself along with him. Maybe that's just my memories talking, growing up under his shadow with the Kokiri, but I had a feeling that wasn't the case. So I went through and cleared out the Skulltulas, killed Gohma, and almost died for the first time in years. Stupid childlike strength and reflexes. At least this jump had perks to take hits and keep fighting, I wasn't completely left out in the cold. The Great Deku Tree passed away just as I warped out of his roots, and I totally didn't cry over him, and then it was time to go to Castle Town to see the Princess. When I got there I ran into Lavine and her friend from this jump, Colo. He was the other companion from the build, our secret weapon in case we ran into anything we couldn't handle. Just as powerful as Ganon at full strength, but he could only use his powers by draining the lifeforce from the land around him. I followed Link's footsteps for a while, which were technically now my footsteps, except Lavine was with me most of the time trying to relearn her magic, and Colo a bit less so, growing into his own powers. I got the Goron Bracelet, bombed some dodongos, got the Goron Ruby, got vored by a giant fish, got the Zora Sapphire, and opened the Temple of Time. Where I was promptly sealed in stasis for SEVEN FUCKING YEARS. I mean, I knew it was coming, but come on. I'd just gotten used to my kid body and everything! But I was back in action! All of my skills were back! I was fully equipped before I even left the Temple. The green tunic and hat are aesthetic, but when it's that versus near-invincible armor I'm gonna go with the thing that keeps my internal organs internal. I didn't see Lavine around anywhere so I assumed she wasn't caught in the stasis field. I got the hell out of Castle Town and went to check in Kakariko. She did live there now, but apparently she was out investigating why Goron City had gone silent a while back. God dammit now I gotta climb that fuckhuge mountain for the thirtieth fucking time and oh I'm there. Thanks, adult legs. And there's a Goron with the same name as me? Oh yeah, right. Darunia's son. Cool. He gave me a heat-resistant tunic which I probably didn't need and I went to go kill the dragon in the mountain's crater. I tried to hype it up in my head, but...it was just a dragon. I was carrying a bass sword carved from the skull of a dragon I killed with my bare hands, and my Warehouse held like three sets of armor made from dragon bones and scales. Each. It was just another dragon. I found Lavine dying of dehydration (and not for the first time either, she was stubborn if nothing else), killed the dragon, saved the day, yadayadayada. The important part was that Zelda showed up to teach me the Bolero of Fire which sounded amazing on my bass. ​ ​ I went around Hyrule for a while after, taking full advantage of the cultural tradition of slaying giant monsters in order to learn music from a ninja, but then I ran out of monsters. All the Sages were free and it was time to confront Ganondorf. Sheik finally revealed her secret identity. “It is I, the Princess of Hyrule, Zelda. I apologize for meeting you in disguise, but it was necessary to hide from the King of Evil. Please forgive me...” “Nah, it's cool. I already knew.” “What? How!? That's not possible, my disguise...” “Oh no, you're disguise was perfect. Real good job on that, honesly. I knew all this was going to happen before we even met.” “But how?” I hadn't thought this far ahead. “Uh...Triforce?” “Link, the Triforce doesn't work that way.” “How do you know? You don't have the Courage part, maybe it gives me future visions!” She sighed. “Ugh, this is why I didn't reveal my identity earlier. Let's just go deal with Ganondorf.” When we got to his Super Evil Fortress of Doom and Darkness and Despair and Other D Words, we ran into his lieutenant, a floating warrior clad in black armor and a cloak of shadows. He took off his helmet, revealing his face to us. “Colo?! What the hell are you doing here?” ​ ​ “Joining the winning side. And it isn't too late for you. There's plenty room in this new world. For all of us.” “You...do you not know how all this turns out?” I turned to Lavine. “Did you not tell him what happens?” She shrugged. “Goddammit. Okay, Colo. Get down here and help us beat up your boss.” He laughed. “I won't ask again. There is only one path now. The path of power. Join us, or be annihilated.” “I'm serious, stop floating around everywhere like an idiot. And get rid of all those shadows! What are you, thirteen?” “Enough of this! A shame you value your empty morality over our friendship. And over your own survival.” He did a completely unnecessary flourish and blasted me with a magic explosion. I had no idea he'd be so powerful! How long has he been draining these lands!? The sheer power behind his blast...I was actually knocked back a step! After we killed Colo (and warned Zelda he'd be back in a week) we found the real target. Ganondorf turned out to be kind of a pushover too. I mean, he was about evenly matched with Link, considering this was when the timelines originally split, but I wasn't just Link. I'd fought side-by-side with the Last Dragonborn, partied with Fionna the Human, and my sword could play badass music. My partner was a Master Destruction mage and Illusionist. He never really stood a chance. Then he turned into a giant monster. It didn't help. It never does. .