LPSS Matters Volume 3, Issue 1 January 2003 HAPPY 2003! [email protected] www.LPSSMatters.com Test Your Knowledge of the Notable (and not so Notable) News Events of 2002 In this Issue: (taken from the G&M, 1/1/03) 1. Who won the Wimbledon men’s singles title? Lleyton Hewitt 2. Which party won the Yukon election? Yukon Party • Into the Unknown 3. Which U.S. diva said she had kicked a drug habit through the Whitney Houston power of prayer? 4. Who was the subject of the biography Shakey? Neil Young • Letters 5. Who won the Art Ross trophy as the NHL’s leading scorer? Jerome Iginla • 6. The U. of T. law school approved fee increases over the next $22,000 We Remember... 5 years that will bring tuition to what level? 7. Canadian 15-year old students finished 2nd in the OECD tests Finland • Spartan Stuff for literacy. Which students were 1st? 8. The Catholic Church faced how large a deficit after the visit to $30 million • and finally….. Canada of Pope John Paul II? 9. What percentage of Canadian children are obese? 18% 10. What percentage of Canadians have a “very” or “somewhat” 78% favourable opinion of Americans? 11. Which Nobel Prize winner urged the United States to abolish Jimmy Carter all its weapons of mass destruction? We have had many instan- 12. National Geographic quizzed young adults about geography in Sweden ces where alumni have Mexico, Britain, Germany, the U.S., Sweden, France and changed their e-mail Canada. Which country’s young adults won? addresses and not let us 13. Which 20-year old topped Forbes Celebrity 100 list for Britney Spears know. If you or anyone combining money and fame? you know have changed or 14. From which sport was a player suspended 10 games for biting Australian Rules are changing your e-mail, an opponent’s scrotum? Football LET US KNOW!!! 15. Which country did the most immigrants to Canada come from? China 16. How many people worldwide do the UN estimate have AIDS? 42 million 17. The crime rate rose fastest in 2001 in which Canadian city? Regina 18. Which industrialized country has the largest proportion of com- Sweden mon-law couples? The Cnd. rate is 16; this country’s is 30. 19. How many people in Canada spend the night in shelters? 14,000 ************************************** 20. Who was the host of the televised Oscars? Whoopi Goldberg 21. Pete Rose Jr. played for which team in the Northern League? Winnipeg Goldeyes Chill Out! 22. The representative of which country won Miss World? Turkey 23. How old was Peter Gzowski when he died? 67 “Today is the tomorrow we 24. Norwegian Book Clubs asked 100 writers in 54 countries to Don Quixote worried about yesterday rank the best 10 books in history. Which was the top book? and all is well” 25. Which Canadian chartered bank stock dropped 30% in 2002? Toronto Dominion 26. Who won the 2002 World Junior Hockey Championship? Russia Source: Unknown 27. Actress Pamela Anderson became engaged to which singer? Kid Rock Volume 3, Issue 1 Page 2 THINK YOU’RE HAVING A BAD Still think you're having a bad day? groin, she once again phoned for DAY? A man was working on his an ambulance. The same motorcycle on the patio, his wife paramedic crew was dispatched. THESE ARE ACTUAL CASES. nearby in the kitchen. While sitting As the paramedics carried the man on the bike and racing the engine, down the stairs to the ambulance Fire authorities in California found a the motorcycle accidentally slipped they asked the wife how he had corpse in a burned out section of into gear. The man, still holding come to burn himself. She told forest while assessing the damage onto the handlebars, was dragged them. They started laughing so done by a forest fire. The deceased along as it burst through the glass hard, one slipped, tipping the male was dressed in a full wet suit, patio doors. stretcher and dumping the husband complete with scuba tanks on his out. He fell down the remaining back, flippers, and face mask in the His wife, hearing the crash, ran in stairs, breaking his arm. middle of the forest. the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and A post-mortem test revealed that the shattered patio door. She called the man died not from burns, but for an ambulance and, because the from massive internal injuries. house sat on a fairly large hill, went Dental records provided a positive down the several flights of stairs to identification. Investigators then set meet the paramedics and escort about to determine how a fully clad them to her husband. diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to Still having a bad day? Just It was revealed that on the day of right the motorcycle and push it remember, it could be worse. .. the fire, the man went diving off the outside. She also quickly blotted up coast, some 20 miles from the the spilled gasoline with some The average cost of rehabilitating a forest. The fire fighters, seeking to paper towels and tossed them into seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill control the fire as quickly as the toilet. in Alaska was $80,000. At a special possible, had called in a fleet of ceremony, two of the most helicopters with very large dip After being treated and released, expensively saved animals were buckets. Water was dipped from the man returned home, looked at being released back into the wild the ocean and emptied at the site the shattered patio door and the amid cheers and applause from of the forest fire. damage done to his motorcycle. He onlookers. A minute later, in full went into the bathroom and view, a killer whale ate them both. You guessed it. One minute our consoled himself with a cigarette diver was making like Flipper in the while attending to his business. Pacific, the next, he was doing the About to stand, he flipped the butt breast stroke in a fire dip bucket between his legs. The wife, who 300 feet in the air and then was in the kitchen, heard a loud airborne into smoke heaven. explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the Some days it just doesn't pay to get bathroom floor with his trousers out of bed. blown away and burns on his legs According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known. ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost. Sent in by Lynn Jenkins (Stevenson) (‘71) Volume 7KLV LV 3, DQ Issue LQWHUYLHZ 1 , GLG ZLWK 0HUOH .LOJRUH LQ 1DVKYLOOH LQ 6HSW 7KLV LV D WUXH VWRU\ Page 3 “Into the Unknown” — Lynn Jenkins (Stevenson) (‘71) How To Be a Psychic— As for Melissa, the youngest at 22 Nicole says she recognizes her Bruce County Style a parent who is a counsellor work- own psychic abilities, and works (We are fortunate to Lynn Jenkins ing at home. "It still pays the bills," with them more than her two (Stevenson) (‘71) in our midst as a she says. siblings. She has cleansed houses fellow alumni. Lynn writes a (rid the home of evil spirits) with her regular column for LPSS Matters. Although her daughters have been mom, and learned to use The following was a class fortunate enough to live in a psychometry (the ability to get a assignment written by a student at society where paranormal issues reading by holding a client's Ryerson) are more widely accepted, when personal item). She believes her Mary Lynn was young, anything abilities will help her in her career. She doesn't use a crystal ball. She related to the paranormal wasn't doesn't have an accent of any sort. considered normal at all. But, little She and Melissa both believe in the She doesn't even have a one nine- Mary Lynn didn't even know what paranormal, and have both seen hundred number that will cost you "paranormal" meant. As far as she ghosts and their mother's $1.50 per minute. All she needs is was concerned, she was just like predictions become reality. intuition. any other kid. Nicole recalls her mother used Mary Lynn, who prefers to go by However, when Mary Lynn turned anagrams to predict "Brian met her first name professionaly, has a 13, she realized she was different. bride in bar" about two years ago. husband (Russ), three grown She was scared of her feelings and Nicole met her recent fiancé, Brian children (Nicole Macfarlane, visions. She didn't have anyone to Woodbridge, in the bar where she Melissa Macfarlane and Michael talk to about it, so she tried to used to work at in Kitchener. Macfarlane), three dogs, and lives block the premonitions for many on two acres of land in Bervie, a years, but they were persistent. Today, Mary Lynn has clients in small town near Kincardine, Ont.