STANDING AT THE EDGE: JOAN HALIFAX IV. PRACTICES THAT SUPPORT ALTRUISM On roshi bernie glassman’s fifty-fifth birthday, in 1994, he and his wife, Jishu Angyo Holmes, and friends sat on the stePs of the U.S. CaPitol in the dead of winter, contemPlating their next stePs in working to solve the AIDS crisis. They had successfully established the Greyston Man- dala, a large social services comPlex in Yonkers, New York, that includes the Greyston Bakery, an HIV clinic, child care, after-school programs, low- income housing, community gardens, and more. Yet anyone who knows Roshi Bernie knows that he is beset by a restless and revolutionary kind of altruism that has him always moving on to something new and radical. Sitting on the freezing CaPitol stePs, Roshi Bernie and Jishu began to envision what would become the Zen Peacemaker Order (ZPO), an organ- ization of socially engaged Buddhists. They grounded ZPO and the prac- tice of Three Tenets of Not-Knowing, Bearing Witness, and ComPassionate Action, a path that fosters altruism of the bravest kind. Not-Knowing is the practice of letting go of fixed ideas about ourselves and the universe. Bear- ing Witness is the practice of being present for the suffering and the joy of this world. Compassionate Action is action that arises out of Not-Knowing and Bearing Witness, and which fosters the healing of the world and our- selves as a path of practice. ZPO went on to create courageous Programs that continue today. In ZPO Street Retreats, ParticiPants live as homeless peoPle on the streets for days at a time, bearing witness to homelessness. In their Auschwitz Bearing Witness Retreat, hundreds gather in Auschwitz in the cold of November to practice Not-Knowing, Bearing Witness, and ComPassionate Action as a way to meet the historical and present-moment suffering of this world. I joined ZPO as a cofounder in the midnineties. Roshi Bernie, Jishu, and I, along with several other Zen practitioners, worked intensively to make the practice of the Three Tenets a central part of our own lives and to offer this possibility to our students. Some years later, I incorPorated the tenets into UPaya’s Buddhist ChaPlaincy Training Program, and they serve as a foundation for how we train chaPlains in view, meditation, and action. Using the tenets as a frame of reference, we ask: How can we sit with Not-Knowing when the suffering we are exPeriencing is close to overwhelm- ing? When does Bearing Witness verge on being a bystander? When Com- Passionate Action is called for, how do we keeP “helPing” and “fixing” at bay, and altruism balanced and healthy so we don’t fall over the edge? And if we do find ourselves teetering toward pathological altruism, how can we make our way back to the solid ground of healthy altruism, so we aren’t done in by the downward slide? My sense of altruism was tested rePeatedly during the years when I worked as a volunteer in a maximum-security prison. When I first walked into the Penitentiary of New Mexico to teach meditation to the prisoners, I really under- stood what the practice of the First Tenet, Not-Knowing, was about. I was literally afraid of being inside a maximum-security prison. I was concerned about working with a poPulation of men who were gang members, all of whom had committed multiPle murders. To make matters more challenging, in the volunteer orientation, we were told that if we were taken hostage by a prisoner, the prison officials were not resPonsible for rescuing us. In sPite of all this, I had long wanted to serve in this particular charnel ground. I had worked with dying peoPle for decades, and I realized I needed to learn from a world that seemed far from what I was familiar with. I was also keenly aware that our economic system, racism, and cultural exclusive- ness have fed the systemic oPPression of the prison- industrial system. I wanted to plunge more deePly into the psychosocial suffering associated with justice and injustice in our country, and to serve those who were victim to crush- ing social ills. The first meeting I had with my grouP of “students” turned out to be quite a lesson in Not- Knowing. The men were brought into the meeting room by a prison guard, who then left my female colleague and me alone with a dozen very rough-looking, tattooed individuals. Most of them wore dark glasses and had shaved heads with hairnets tight over their foreheads. All of them slouched low in the plastic chairs and were seriously “mansPreading.” As a Zen priest, I had a shaved head too, but no hairnet—and I had my legs neatly crossed! Sitting uncomfortably in their midst, I was struck by how my fear was getting in the way of interacting with this silent and glowering grouP of men. I had to quickly give uP my PreconcePtions about what it was like “inside,” or I was not going to have a very easy time. I asked the grouP if they would be okay with a check-in (i.e., to share how they were doing), and one of them growled an affirmative. I had to shift my attention to my breath to get my- self grounded, and then we began. The first man just glared at me. It was unnerving. The second man had shades on, and I couldn’t see his eyes. I asked him politely if he would mind removing his sunglasses, and he PoPPed them uP and down so quickly that I caught only a brief glimPse of his bloodshot orbs. I had to smile, as did a few of the other men in the circle. Eventually the next fellow took off his shades and began to talk, and things began to warm uP. Man after man offered a few more words, until the last man reached into his shirt Pocket, pulled out a small package, and handed it to me. It was a hairnet. I unwraPPed the little package, took out the net, and slowly put it on my head. The room went into a meltdown of laughter, and thus began six years of practicing Not-Knowing in one of the toughest prisons in the United States. I saw then and know now that being a so-called “exPert” could have eas- ily seParated me from these men. We too often build a wall of exPertise because of our fears. I learned from this exPerience about the value of clearly seeing my biases and story—and how these were obstacles to meeting the moment in an unmediated way. In the end, I learned that the Practice of Not-Knowing is the very ground of altruism, because it oPens us uP to a much wider horizon than our preconcePtions could ever afford us and can let in connection and tenderness. The Second Tenet, Bearing Witness, is the practice of being fully present and connected with our whole being to the full catastroPhe, neutrality, or joy of whatever is arising. Even more deePly, the practice of Bearing Witness is about being in an unfiltered relationshiP with others and the world around us, as well as ourselves, and coming alongside with oPen hands and heart. When I am in NePal serving in UPaya’s Nomads Clinics, I am bearing witness to many PeoPle who are materially imPoverished, and injured or ill. I also have to bear witness to the consequences of a corruPt government, environmental degradation, and the marginalization of Tibetans. I cherish the Tibetan peoPle, and I have sat with the truth of their situation, again and again, in order to learn what might serve their communities. I could not do this without the practice of Bearing Witness. From Not-Knowing and Bearing Witness, the Third Tenet arises, Com- Passionate Action— or what the Zen master Yú nmé n Wé nyǎ n called “an aP- ProPriate resPonse.” This means taking action (or consciously refraining from taking action) with the clear intention of benefiting others. The philosoPher Jiddu Krishnamurti once wrote, “Action has meaning only in relationshiP, and without understanding relationshiP, action on any level will only bring conflict. The understanding of relationshiP is infinitely more imPortant than the search for any plan of action.” In traveling to NePal and suPPort- ing UPaya’s medical clinics for decades, I have done this work from a base of Not-Knowing and Bearing Witness, and from a grounding in the relationshiPs my team and I have develoPed with Himalayan people. Practicing the tenets runs counter to the path that most of us are com- fortable walking. Caregivers might want to get things done. So might edu- cators, lawyers, activists, and Parents. So do I. We also tend to rely on our exPertise, our knowledge base, our past exPerience in helPing others. But if we are to fully meet the present moment, the Three Tenets can be invaluable guides. For me, the Three Tenets are among the most powerful upayas (skillful means, or tools of practice) that I use to work with the energies of the Edge States. In this book, as I exPlore each Edge State and other practices that suPPort them, I will return to the Three Tenets as skillful means, as practices, for encountering our own suffering and the suffering of others, and as a path of cultivating wisdom and comPassion, and of finding freedom. Practicing Not-Knowing So how do we actually practice the Three Tenets? Here, I will offer a few practice points for each tenet, starting with Not-Knowing.