he problem with the as some sort of victory. Even the twin- turbochargers producing 604bhp and road fund licence and number plates Mercedes-Benz S-class - turbocharged, 5.5-litre V12 S600 7371b ft of torque. The S65 AMG is that Mercedes asks for the S65, or if it's maybe the only problem - seems good value at 90 grand, given easily the most powerful series- just an end-of-line experiment to see is that its maker has never that it's as refined as all the others but production saloon on sale, and a lot of how much money punters will part with been able to charge as gets to 60mph in 4.4sec and l00mph in people have become very agitated over in exchange for an S-class. Tmuch for it as some customers would under 10. It is absurdly fast. I recorded whether manufacturers ought to be The S65's first problem is that it isn't be willing to pay. It's a sort of automo- those figures myself and afterwards I producing road cars with such much faster than an S600. Under full tive hole-in-one. When it was launched needed a short lie-down. gargantuan outputs. I don't think it mat- acceleration in the wet, it's only really in 1998 it became instantly, unques- There's also the supercharged ters: I think we ought to admire Merc's at about 60mph that it finds anything tionably the best car in the world. At the 5.5-litre V8 S55 AMG, which is almost willingness to continue a tradition like full traction. Until then your atten- time, a Rolls-Royce cost twice as much identical in power, price and perform- stretching back to the '60s of putting tion is locked on correcting the sway- as the core S-class, the S500, yet the ance to the S600. But Mercedes has unfeasibly powerful engines into big ing back-end and trying to match the Mercedes took it apart in every decided that these two aren't enough, saloons. The real question is whether car's monstrous torque to its limited discipline bar exclusivity, if you regard and has produced an AMG version of there's any justification forspending the grip. But once the steering wheel's the fact that fewer people bought them theV12 with another 500cc and bigger £142,740 inclusive of delivery charges, back to the dead-ahead and you have the hammer all the way down, you gle with traction, wet or dry; start to notice other things, like how adding another l00bhp only very well aware of this, and by the the acceleration - accompanied by a makes the problem worse. For the advantage turns time you come to sell, your tens of hammering soundtrack - is so violent S65's extra power to make any up the glare on the price. There's a thousands of pounds of extra invest- that you expect the encircled three- difference from a standing start you'd feeling in the world of the very fast, ment will have vanished as quickly pointed star mounted like a gunsight need to fit a set of fat drag racing slicks very expensive car that £100,000 and irrecoverably as the contents of a 10 feet in front of you to distort and at the back that bounce and centrifuge means much more than just another Belfast bankvault. come bending back towards you like a out under hard acceleration. But we digit on the cheque. Cars costing We're concerned that the same Dali clock. The S65 spears into three were surprised by how little difference significantly in excess of 100 large principles apply to the S65, but bald figures as if inertia and drag didn't the extra power made even when - Lamborghini Murcielago, Aston performance figures and the cold view exist. Sadly, Mercedes' 155mph speed rolling: the S65 took 13.0sec to get Martin Vanquish, Merc SL65 - seem to of the market seldom tell the full story. limiter is all too real, and it only takes from 100 to 150mph to the S600's offer little more image or performance Mercedes must have some justifica- around 25 seconds to find it. 13.6sec. And how often do you see than 'lesser' models - Gallardo, DB9, tion for putting this thing on sale at But launching either the S55 or 150mphintheUK? SL55 - costing around £100k. Buyers £50,000 more than the other hot S600 involves exactly the same strug- The lack of any usable performance of lightly used examples of each are S-classes, and the only way it's going • tion of an air dam, boot spoiler and a set 'Acceleration is of 21-inch wheels the Seven has been transformed from an awkward, very static piece of modern architecture back so violent-the into a car again. Less changes inside: Alpina adds little to the equipment of a S65 spears into 745i. There's unique wood and leather and the Alpina numbered plaque, but the real effort has been expended three figures as if elsewhere. The thin steering wheel is trimmed inertia didn't exist' in very expensive leather; the feel of it alone almost justifies the price of the to reveal itself is to drive somewhere car. But the stuff it controls is even bet- other than the test track. ter. Alpina is the only manufacturer I'm But we still need some context. It had aware of that is so proud of its wheel to be the Alpina B7. It might have only camber and castor angles that it prints 493bhp from its supercharged version them in the owner's manual. Its of BMW's 4.4-litre V8 and cost half as reworking of the Seven's suspension much as the Merc, but it too is the has produced a car with immediate, fastest in its range and wears a tuner's informative steering, a languid ride badge. Alpina doesn't just make good despite those vast wheels and progres- cars, it improves on some of the best, sive roll-rates that tell you precisely the and we thought the B7 might have the level of the car's exertion. It all feels minerals to humble the mightiest Merc. more adept, more natural than a It certainly doesn't look half the price standard 7-series, more sporting with- sensible wheel and tyre choice. Body just runs into the same surfeit of parked next to the Merc. Forgive the out a loss of comfort. We'd only criticise control is excellent for a two-tonne car, torque over grip. The Alpina has more vernacular, but the S65 just looks well a little extra road noise and surface but at eight-tenths, when the Alpina's grip, so the grunt deficit just doesn't hard in its Tektite grey paint and AMG sensitivity from the tyres, and the chassis is still coping well all on its own, matter. It takes - in the wet, remember bodykit, and resting on its 19-inch grey absence of a limited-slip differential the big Benz begins to heave and you - over half a second out of the S65 to split-rim alloys. You can't miss the which would have stopped the occa- can feel the standard Active Body 60mph at 4.8sec. By l00mph, when underwater burble from the pipes or the sional stampede of horses through an Control fighting physics to keep the car the Merc has found some purchase, V12 Biturbo badge on the front wings; inside wheel on tighter, wet bends. in shape. The steering's weighty but they're about even, but to 150mph the you'll probably never see one, but if you The S65 feels distant after the more has little of the Alpina's feel, and begins power difference really shows, the do you won't mistake it even for an S55. connected Alpina. The low-speed ride to kick hard with some lock and load. Merc taking 3.6sec out of the Alpina. But the B7 nearly out-toughs it. We and insulation from surface scars are Back to the dragstrip and a chance But the B7's times are the more thought the 7-series was the car even better. Mercedes does this brilliantly, of for the S65 to score: 604bhp meets remarkable given the conditions - Alpina couldn't save, but with the addi- course, but it's helped here by a semi- 493, 7371b ft meets 515. But the S65 we'd like to see what it does in the dry. Alpina claims the same 4.8sec in brakes are awesome in each case and perfect conditions; we think it might virtually inseparable for feel or meas- match, or maybe better, the Merc's urable performance. claimed 4.4sec to 62mph. And the B7 You could argue that the S65 has a does it with grace: the engine note is a greater span of ability - from luxury at symphony after the S65's drum roll. It one end of the spectrum to insane sounds good because it's a great performance at the other - than any engine, and not because the exhaust car made. But see it in the context of its has been to reverse-elocution lessons rivals, and the roads it has to be driven like the Benz's. Both gearboxes - a six- on, and it suddenly seems what an speed auto in the B7, a five in the S65 - S-class has never been, until now: too handle the vast torque that thuds expensive and slightly irrelevant.