THEBOOK OF ZELPHANOTHER TESTAMENT OF THE BOOK OF MORMON PRINTED BOOKS NOW AVAILABLE!!!CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS PERSONAL TESTIMONIES!!! THE BOOK OF ZELPH CHALLENGE!!! Title PageIntroduction First Laban (1 Lab.) The Son of Abitch Code (Son.) Second Laban (2 Lab.) Phil (Phil) The Whores (Whor.) Dances with Cureloms (Dance) The People (People) Zelph (Zel.) Poems (Poems) Melph (Mel.) Facsimile 1 The Testimony of Four Witnesses The Testimony of Nine WitnessesTestimony of Josh Anderson (The guy who translated the plates) A Brief Explanation about The Book of Zelph "No man knows my history. No man could write a book like this and live. Joseph Smith did and he got killed. But look at me, I'm not dead!" - Josh Anderson THE BOOK OF ZELPH AN ACCOUNT WRITTEN BY THE HAND OF ZELPH UPON PLATES TAKEN FROM THE PLATES OF LABAN THE YOUNGER, THE WHORES, AND DANCES WITH CURELOMS These leather plates are an abridgement of the record of the people of Laban, The Whores, Dances with Cureloms, and other ancient Americans known collectively as "Lamanites" who mixed their seed and DNA with the Asian women who accompanied Laban the Younger when he sailed to the American Continent, approximately 600BC, in an attempt to avenge the murder of his father Laban at the hands of Nephi. The followers of Nephi became known as Nephites and are a remnant of Jerusalem, and did not mix their seed with Asian whores, and therefore, should have Israelite DNA markers. Unfortunately, the Nephites were destroyed by the Lamanites approximately 400 A.D. and their remains can no longer be found on this continent, not even by scientific means, because they lived in a limited geography which nobody has been able to find. The Book of Zelph is written by way of knowledge, by great men of this, the American continent and it was engraved upon plates. It was written and hid away from the disbelieving eyes of the overly religious man until that day that it can come forth to the secular, gentile Americans of the twenty-first century, and fill the holes in the Book of Mormon narrative and explain away the problems of Book of Mormon historicity, and explain the DNA controversy and the lack of physical evidence. The plates were preserved by Zelph, the White Lamanite, and given to his son, Melph, who kept them hidden. They were hid away until a time that they could come forth so that the gentiles can understand the rest of the Book of Mormon story. And now, if there are faults with this book it is nothing to worry about. Even if you're reading this book and you think to yourself, "No way!" just remember, maybe it could be true. Therefore, condemn not the things of Laban, The Whores, Dances with Cureloms, Zelph or any other characters in this book, for they are real, I promise. TRANSLATED BY JOSH ANDERSON AUTHOR AND PROPRIETOR INTRODUCTION The Book of Zelph is a volume of books, like the Book of Mormon, and is a supplement to the Book of Mormon. Since it takes two witnesses for something to be true, the Book of Zelph is a second witness of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas, and contains stories of the men and women who lived here. Whereas the Book of Mormon was mostly about religion and was from the Nephite point of view, the Book of Zelph is about the day-to-day activities of the non-christian groups living here at the same time, and tells their stories from their point of view. These non-christian, non-Nephite groups became known collectively as "Lamanites". The Book of Zelph contains the history of ancient America through their eyes. Their words, etched on metal, stone, and leather plates were quoted and abridged by a Lamanite warrior-historian named Zelph. Zelph was a great warrior, and many called him Zelph “The Handcart Warrior” because his collection of plates was so heavy he had to wheel them around in a handcart. Zelph finally grew tired of wheeling around the heavy plate collection so he abridged their contents onto smaller, lighter, more convenient leather plates, and bound the leather plates in book format. Zelph's record gives an account of the people who could no longer tolerate the religious zealotry of the pompous, know-it- all Nephites, and therefore decided to annihilate them. The great people in the Book of Zelph lived life to the fullest, and multiplied quickly by breeding like rabbits because of their sexual liberation, which was taught to them by the Asian whores. The Lamanites became a culturally diverse group with Asian DNA, while the Nephites remained sexually repressed religious zealots, and white separatists, who lived in a tiny geographical area, and refused to mix with the dark skinned Lamanites. As a result, the Nephites left no trace of their civilization behind. Even today, archeologists cannot find a trace of their existence anywhere in the world. When Columbus arrived in 1492, the only group dwelling in the Americas were the multitude of dark skinned Lamanites with Asian DNA, and they are the principal ancestors of the American Indians.The crowning event recorded in the Book of Zelph is the final victory over the Nephite armies, and the raping, pillaging, and eventual extermination of the Nephite people and their culture. Zelph lost his life sometime during these final battles, and his handcart overflowing with plates became 'lost' to the world, as did his leather abridgment. The remains of Zelph were found by Joseph Smith in 1834, however Smith did not see the handcart of plates hidden in a nearby cave. The plates would remain hidden until 2004 when Josh Anderson was led to them by the ghosts of Zelph and Melph. Zelph handed Josh Anderson his leather bound abridgment of the plates and told him to translate them for the modern generation to read. The plates, and Zelph's leather abridgment, were inscribed using a secret language called 'Reformed Asian.' Like Joseph Smith, Josh Anderson translated the leather plates using a magic rock and hat. The record is now published for all to read as an additional book that fills in the gaps in the Book of Mormon narrative, tells the Lamanite side of the story, and helps answer some sticky scientific issues with the Book of Mormon. Concerning this record, Josh Anderson said: “I told my friends that the Book of Zelph is a really good book.”In addition to Josh Anderson, thirteen others saw the leather plates for themselves and were selected by Josh to be special witnesses of the truth of the Book of Zelph. This is better evidence than the Book of Mormon which only had eleven witnesses. The Book of Zelph has two more witnesses than the Book of Mormon. The witness's written testimonies are included herewith as “ The Testimony of Four Witnesses ” and “ The Testimony of Nine Witnesses .”We invite everyone everywhere to read the Book of Zelph, and decide if it is true, and even if you think logically or factually it couldn't have happened, just think if it is possible that it might have happened, even if it is only 1% possible that is is true, that means there is still a chance. Are you willing to risk not believing it is true? You lose nothing by thinking it did happen if it really didn't, so the burden of proof lies with those who think it isn't true. Since it is impossible to prove a negative, we can logically assume that this book is true. If you still do not think it is true, we challenge you to use Melph's promise, as outlined in Melph 5:4, to discern the truthfulness of this book. THE FIRST BOOK OF LABAN HIS LIFE IN JERUSALEM Laban the younger writes of his youth, his friendship with Nephi, son of Lehi, his loving relationship with his father, Laban. Lehi's family turns against Laban and Laban the younger. Lehi covets Laban's brass plates, orders his sons to murder Laban and steal the brass plates. Nephi is convicted. Laban the Younger and a Jerusalem detective pursues Nephi to bring him to justice, bring several Asian whores on the journey. CHAPTER 1 Laban the younger begins writing upon gold plates in a secret language called reformed Asian. Nephi and Laban the Younger are childhood friends. Laban the younger plays at Nephi’s house. Lehi goes crazy, begins preaching in the streets. The people make fun of him, children mock him and conspire against him. Laban the younger defeats the wicked children with his sling, and saves Lehi. [About 600 B.C.] 1. And it came to pass that I, Laban the Younger, was named after the manner of my father, who was named Laban. And I shall commence writing an account of my life upon these plates, yea, even plates of gold. And the record I shall make shall be a true record. And I maketh my record in the language of my companions, which consists of the learning of the Jews and the language of the Asians. And I shall call this language reformed Asian. 2. And it came to pass that my father, being a good man, had in his possession certain brass plates, like unto these gold plates upon which this record is written, except it be that my father’s record was on brass, not gold. And these brass plates did have written upon them the record of the Jews, even like unto a Bible. 3. And it came to pass that my best friend was named Nephi.