ST. JOHN’S Independent Bj-Weekly Jonathan Morgan__________________________ Adam Willson______________________________ Hay and Apples for the Dark Horse: Dear gentle and not-so-gentle readers, Some Thoughts on the upcoming We, at The Moon, are thrilled whenever we receive contro­ Erotic Poetry Contest versial submissions. It is important for us as students and for The Moon as an ongoing student discussion to address touchy Tired of reading limp, impotent prose? Find Hegel hard to and often overly provocative themes. Many articles in our last swallow? The Moon wants to provide release for the torrents of issue were definitely touchy, if not to say a bit scandalous. We passion pent up in your sticky little...hearts. That’s why we’re published an article about the subconcious dream-struggles that bringing back the Erotic Poetry Contest this year. But before you arise in an institution like St. John’s. We printed a fairly pro­ all grab your pens and wet your lips, let me whisper a few sweet vocative letter in response to The Letter Home, security article nothings in your ears. (a side note: this article was not written by Randy Harris or by First, I’d like to share some thoughts on content and style. the Communications office, but by a parent who had interviewed When sculpting a poem, try to probe the depths of your soul security). We further prodded you with Ashley Cardiff’s inflam­ for the mot juste, rather than just mounting any old word that matory fashion article. We introduced you to the profound yet happens through your naughty mind to the page. While we want somewhat cynical musings of Ben Mann on holiday depression your poetry to fairly steam with innuendo and throb with turgid and suicide. The list goes on. words, we’d rather you not pound us with profanity. If you feel I now wish to discuss that very article on suicide and depres­ the urge to use the word “fucking,” every time you need to de­ sion. Before we published our last issue, it was suggested by scribe an act of coitus (or one of its many delightful variations), our faculty advisor, John Hartnett, that we seriously consider the perhaps you should stop just writing about sex and, well... implications of publishing an article like that. He recommended It’s not that we’re prudes; we just think that true creativity that we have a discussion with Mr. Davis about different ways to is best expressed through restraint. Make your poems tease, touch on such a controversial subject. This is because Mr. Davis nibble, scratch and moan. Treat us with a soft touch—or, if you is a valuable resource for information on suicide, among other like it rough, at least keep it stimulating. Remember that Eros is things. Mr. Hartnett also advised that we might want to offer found in the sensual realm: sight, sound, touch, fragrance and more information about suicide alongside Mr. Mann’s article; taste. Take your time; build your readers to a frenzy of anticipa­ i.e. suicide hotline information, different observations of sui­ tion before reaching your poetic climax. Subtlety won’t make cidal tendency, and general information about the topic. us wilt, monotony will. Favor the implicit over the explicit and What follows are excerpts from a letter I sent to Mr. Hartnett titillate our filthy imaginations. After all, your poetry comes to in response to his suggestions: us in a familiar tongue.. .I’m sure we’ll get the thrust of it. We felt that it was not necessary to devote a section of the paper to the discussion of suicide. We are not always prepared for this sort of concerted focus on controversial topics. This should not disallow us to print an article about a theme which will undoubtedly make people think. And we want the student voice to be heard. We like the idea of providing as comprehen­ sive a forum as possible to discuss weighty issues. But, in a large sense, we should not always be accountable to provide this forum, especially since many of these weighty issues can not be sufficiently discussed within one issue of our paper... We should not always act as arbiters of important discussions, but sometimes only as instigators of them... continued ...The impact of Mr. Mann’s article is profound. It only uses the discussion of suicide as a springboard for talking about more on general and accessible issues, i.e. the fatalistic machine that ex­ page ists in modem U.S. society, seasonal depression, the separation of ideals from reality. His piece does have an inspirational end- 24 2 ...J THE Moon Features First Thoughts from a Zen Cynic Ben Mann p. 11 Just Don’t Call Him Johnny Appleseed Jonathan Morgan p. 13 Beyond Reason (Try to Argue): 1. Lunchtime Felicitas Steinhoff p. 16 Opinion 3 Letters to the Editor Travis Taft, Ian Hayes, Concerning Ms. Cardiff’s 'Strike a Pose’ and 'Johnnie' p. 6 In Defense of 'Strike a Pose’ Trystan Popish p. 8 News Project What? Emma Hazlett p. 9 The St. John’s Heliographic Society Ben Ripley p. 9 Strategic Support Branch: Rumsfeld Wants You Jeff Stott p. 10 Reviews Junior Skit Ebenezer Detterfield, Esq. p. 18 Calliope’s Corner The Minotaur’s Maze Steven Pine p. 20 Lost Inward Owen Stark p. 21 Territorial Disintegration’s End Steven Whalen p. 21 First Bennifer and Now Bradifer?!!! Jack Langworthy p. 22 Comics Average Johnnie Adam Willson p, 26 The Inferno: Canto XIII Blake Hindley p. 27 TH F Moon Don’t like what we’re doing with the Jonathan Morgan Editor-in-Chief Moon? Adam Willson Keep those hands where we can see 'em Assistant Editor Chris Harris The editorial staff of the Moon is constantly being bombarded with A Thorn in Your Rose questions, comments, and threats about the content of this or that Nyssa Travis Moon issue. Our stock response is to gently suggest that the individ­ Assistant Thorn in Your Rose ual accosting us write a letter to the editor. Almost universally, this suggestion has the effect of causing him to stammer, avert his eyes, Trystan Popish and shuffle away, often while muttering angrily under his breath. Moon Intern Inevitably, no letter follows. Why oh why are you so silent, campus mine? We want your input! Are you too meek to voice your opinions in a public forum, too lazy Contributors to type up a statement of your grievances, or do you simply have Emma Hazlett I Felicitas Steinhoff Travis Taft I Ian Hayes I Ben Mann nothing to say? Steven Whalen I Steven Pine C’mon. We know you’ve got at least 95 Theses in you. Nail ‘em to Jeff Stott I Ebenezer Detterfield, Esq. the door. Blake Hindley I Owen Stark and ‘Johnnie’ Send constructive criticisms, destructive witticisms, or threats of death and dismemberment to [email protected] Cover Photo: Gideon Culman The Moon is the independent bi-weekly student newspaper for St. John’s College in Santa Fe, New Mexico. As such, all opinions expressed within r ^ repre.sent only the views of their respective authors, Join us and do not necessarily represent the views of the or Be Square College, the Faculty, the Administration or the Moon Editors. Issues are available at no charge to all members of, and visitors to the campus, and As the year begins, the Moon Editorial Staff has the yearly subscriptions can be obtained for $30. distinction of actually having staff members who The Moon is composed of student works and all are not editors. But they are few. So the call is going contributions are welcome, but the Editorial staff out for anyone interested in reporting, critiquing, reserves the right to demand an indefinite amount photography, cartooning, layout, editing, making of revision in order to uphold our strict journalistic standards and to ensure that each issue is relevant, sweet sweet love, living, drinking, being the Dean, informative, and damn fun to read. or self actualizing. If interested contact Jonathan Morgan X4170 or Adam Willson X4324 STJOHN’S ULi.d ^ College ANNAPOLIS ■ SANTA Ft 4 Letters to the Editor Dear Editor, It is my sincere hope that those seniors dinner protocols, and rather than have who participated enjoyed the Alumni anyone face embarrassment it seemed Association and college sponsored senior prudent to offer gentle advice on conduct dinners. Members of the Association at the dinners. and local alumni who volunteer to host In addition, Mr. Lasser’s intimation the dinners really look forward to the that the dinners are a fundraising oppor­ opportunity to meet you and hear about tunity for the college is false. Hosts vol­ your lives. The welcome which has been unteer because they care about students. extended to you through the gesture of Yes, many do make contributions to the the dinner is genuine. As alumni you college. Their contributions to the annual will join a truly amazing group of people, fund assure that there are lights, heat, fur­ most of whom will go out of their way niture, chalk, beds in dorms, folks at the to help you as you transition from life at switchboard, a nurse on call 24-7, school St. John’s College to the rest of your life, counselors, a gym, tutors are well paid Roxanne Seagraves many of whom will become your life­ and eager to work here, and so on. In fact Director of Alumni and long friends. if you look at any part of this campus the Parent Relations A concern was raised by Mr.