The River Within Loving God, Living Passionately 1 THE RIVER WITHIN 2 3 THE RIVER WITHIN The River Within Loving God, Living Passionately By Jeff Imbach FRESH WIND PRESS 2 3 THE RIVER WITHIN © 2007 Jeff Imbach All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or any other type—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the permission of the author. Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations in this publication are taken from the HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION¨ (NIV) Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House, all rights reserved, and the King James Version (KJV). Cover design by Printed in Canada by Friesens, Altona, MB (www.friesens.com) Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication Imbach, Jeffrey D. The river within : Christian mysticism and the addictive society / Jeffrey D. Imbach. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 0-9780174-1-2 1. Love--Religious aspects--Catholic Church. 2. Mysticism--Middle Ages, 600-1500. 3. Spiritual life--Catholic Church. I. Title. BV4639.I59 2006 248.4’82 C2006-900093-X Fresh Wind Press 2170 Maywood Court Abbotsford, BC, Canada V2S 4Z1 www.freshwindpress.com 4 5 THE RIVER WITHIN Contents Foreword by Dr. Larry Crabb 7 Author’s Foreword: Getting In and Getting Wet 9 Introduction by David Hazard 11 Part I: The Life of Passion 1. The Risk of Growth 17 2. Becoming “All Flame” 31 3. Jesus’ Invitation to Fullness of Life 51 4. The Three-in-One Source of Our Passion 67 5. Embracing the Goodness of Passion 87 6. Passion’s Dangers 103 Part II: Opening Up To Our Passion 7. Choosing 121 8. The Storm in Our Lives 135 9. Enjoying the Current 149 10. Securing the Banks 165 11. Daring to Dream 181 4 5 THE RIVER WITHIN Part III: Living Passionately 12. Living Passionately in Creation 203 13. Living Passionately in Community 223 14. Living Passionately in Relationships 239 15. Living Passionately with God 259 Conclusion: Will the River Flow In You? 279 Notes 285 About the Author 293 6 7 THE RIVER WITHIN FOREWORD By Dr. Larry Crabb ’ve been a follower of Jesus for over 50 years—sincere, commit- ted, eager. But it’s been only recently that the word “rhythm” has Ibecome part of my understanding of the spiritual journey. Before, words like principles, duty, obligation, and pressure were more central. Here’s what God wants you to do, do it, you’re supposed to, so live with the pressure. In the late 1990’s, Dr. James Houston said something in my hearing that began a paradigm shift in me. Here’s what I remember from his talk: “The church will experience another reformation only when we recover the doctrine of the Trinity, and understand its implications for human community.” I had no idea what he meant, but it sounded important, so I wrote it down. Since then, I’ve puzzled over, explored, thought about, and discussed Trinitarian theology to the point where the phrase no longer intimidates me. The truth that God Himself is a three-person community, the only small group in the history of time to get along perfectly, has revolutionized my thinking. We’ve been invited to join this community, to dance to its rhythm, to live with its passions. Not many hearts have yet been grabbed by the sheer excitement and privilege of this incredible opportunity. But among those that have, Jeff Imbach stands tall. From where I stand, he “gets it.” And I fnd my heart hungering for more of what he gets. If you’re willing to think out of the box, if you’re frustrated with do-it-right Christianity, if the word “rhythm” stirs a desire in you to live a new way, you have picked up the right book. For three years now, I’ve 6 7 THE RIVER WITHIN required every student who comes to my School of Spiritual Direction to read this book. The response validates my belief—this book matters! Authenticity is a popular buzzword these days. But for Jeff, it’s a reality. His book will resonate with every honest seeker after the experi- ence of an internal fow that carries us into the presence of God. With the recent interest in spirituality, the market is glutted with books on the topic. Only a few have reached my heart and moved deeper into my heart and higher into the Eternal Community. The River Within is on that short list. 8 9 THE RIVER WITHIN AUTHOR’S FOREWORD GETTING IN AND GETTING WET his book stands at the confuence of two great themes—the life of God within the Trinity and our passion in daily life. It Tis neither a theological discussion of the Trinity nor a general exploration of passion. It explores our passion as the river of God’s life within us. The fowing of love within the Trinity shows us that God is pas- sionate. The stream of passionate desire that runs in us reminds us that we, too, are part of the great river of God’s life. This meeting place can be a risky place to stand. The Trinity is essentially grounded in mystery. Passion is grounded in the muck and beauty of everyday life. It’s hard to write about the Trinity in the specifc, earthy terms that passion demands. Each statement, if taken by itself, could sound lopsided. If we talk in isolation about how our intimacy with God encompasses our desire to be respected as unique persons, we can quickly sound cheap—or worse, self-centered. If we talk in isolation about our desire to abandon ourselves and surrender into union, spirituality can easily degenerate into quietism—or worse, into a lifeless spiritual conformity. Despite the diffculty, neither theme—the Trinity nor Passion—allows for the cool detachment of armchair analysis. The Trinity invites us into the intimacy of shared love. Passion invites us to get living. These can be explored but never mastered. I have had to jump in and get my feet wet. 8 9 THE RIVER WITHIN As I have worked on this book, I’ve gradually realized the book itself is an example of what I’m trying to say. It is a risk, an attempt to express my passion. It gives voice to the truth that has become profoundly trans- forming in my own spiritual life and in the lives of many with whom I have talked over the years. The writing has shaped me. I have had to face my own biases and open up more fully to the spectrum of God’s life. Through the choice to offer my passion to the world, I have come to enjoy God more deeply and depend on God more profoundly. The audience has also shaped the writing. I care deeply for those who have a hunger for spiritual intimacy, who are at home in their relationship with God, and for whom this book offers new ground to explore. My heart goes out to the growing number of people who feel empty, frustrated, disappointed or just plain disillusioned with what they have been given as spiritual food. Some have lived with this ache for years; others are just beginning to realize they have questions they wouldn’t have dared to admit just a short time ago. Finally, I have purposely chosen to write with as little religious lan- guage as possible so that those who have no faith background might fnd a hopeful and, perhaps, even an alluring invitation to get into the river themselves. I pray this book will give people permission and courage to fnd a way forward in their spiritual pilgrimages. Like plants, all books emerge from their own soil. The River Within has grown in the soil of my life, in my marriage and family, my friends, and within the church community of Barnabas Christian Fellowship. I owe a deep debt of gratitude to all those who have stood with me and who have explored the vision together. I have been blessed to have David Hazard as my editor. I cannot imagine an editor wrestling with the content and style more deeply and more sympathetically than he has as he approached the material out of the richness and breadth of his own life and wide learning. He has been of immense help. Finally, I would like to express thanks to my late wife, Miriam, and to Bonnie Tarchuck, Heidi Grogan, and Art Norris for their helpful contributions as they read and marked their way through the material. 10 11 THE RIVER WITHIN INTRODUCTION By David Hazard any Christians are wondering why they have not experienced the life of depth, fulfllment, and happiness promised by Jesus. M“Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will fow from within him” (John 7:37). We know as adults that demands and duties have a wearing effect. But beyond that, many believers come to a point where they question their understanding of the Christian spiritual life at a very fundamental level. Great numbers of men and women are saying, “The type of Chris- tianity I was introduced to seems to me now to focus on rule-keepingm, on being correct, and always knowing and doing the right thing.