Excellence in First-Year Writing 2014/2015 The English Department Writing Program and The Gayle Morris Sweetland Center for Writing Edited by Dana Nichols and Jing Xia Published in 2015 by Michigan Publishing University of Michigan Library © 2015 Gayle Morris Sweetland Center for Writing Permission is required to reproduce material from this title in other publications, coursepacks, electronic products, and other media. Please send permission requests to: Michigan Publishing 1210 Buhr Building 839 Greene Street Ann Arbor, MI 48104 [email protected] ISBN 978-1-60785-348-0 Table of Contents Excellence in First-Year Writing Winners list 5 Nominees list 6 Introduction 11 Feinberg Family Prize for Excellence in First-Year Writing 13 Chasing the Stardom 15 A Guide to Dealing with Your Classmate’s Death 25 A Tale of Two Ice Cream Stores 35 Matt Kelley/Granader Family Award for Excellence in First-Year Writing 45 The Force of Violence; The Power of Forgiveness 47 Keep Walking, Just Don’t Cry 53 Granader Family Award for Excellence in Multilingual Writing Socializing is Not an Easy Thing 63 The Power of Attitude in Comparative Advertising 69 Granader Family Prize for Outstanding Writing Portfolio Akemi Tsutsumi’s E-Portfolio 77 Kate’s Collection 93 Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 3 Excellence in First-Year Writing 2014/2015 EDWP Writing Prize Chairs Danielle Lillge Justine Neiderhiser EDWP Writing Prize Committee Phil Christman Ali Shapiro Gail Gibson Adam Snead James Hammond Megan Sweeney Adrienne Jacaruso Joanna Want Aubrey Schiavone Katie Willingham Sweetland Writing Prize Chairs Dana Nichols Jing Xia Sweetland Writing Prize Committee Louis Cicciarelli Stephanie Pappas David Gold Simone Sessolo Shelley Manis Naomi Silver Christine Modey Administrative Support Hanna Linna Laura Schulyer Aaron Valdez 4 Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 Winners List Feinberg Family Prize for Excellence in First-Year Writing Casimir Stone “Chasing the Stardom” nominated by Scott Beal, English 125 Jackie Murray “A Guide to Dealing with Your Classmate’s Death” nominated by James Pinto, English 124 Minna Wybrecht “A Tale of Two Ice Cream Stores” nominated by Ali Shapiro, English 125 Matt Kelley/Granader Family Prize for Excellence in First-Year Writing Anna Silver “The Force of Violence; The Power of Forgiveness” nominated by Carrie Wood, Great Books 191 Ardie Kamran “Keep Walking, Just Don’t Cry!” nominated by Scott Beal, LHSP 125 Granader Family Prize for Excellence in Multilingual Writing Xiaoman Gan “Socializing is Not an Easy Thing” nominated by Scott Beal, Writing 120 Ziyan Yang “The Power of Attitude in Comparative Advertising” nominated by Lori Randall, Writing 120 Granader Family Prize for Outstanding Writing Portfolio Akemi Tsutsumi “Akemi Tsutsumi’s E-Portfolio” nominated by Gina Brandolino, Writing 100 Kate Vogel “Kate’s Collection” nominated by Jennifer Metsker, Writing 100 Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 5 Nominees List Feinberg Family Prize nominees Student Name Instructor Name Ahsan Ansari Heidi Phillips Dani Averill Jessica Wiederspan Ashley Baker Lauren Benjamin Olivia Barahal Sharon Pomerantz Halley Bass Ryan McCarty Lizzie Bedrick Leigh Korey Christina Benson Lillian Li Alissa Chan James Pinto Tess Dewulf Vedran Catovic Ronald (RJ) Duquette Aubrey Schiavone Sydney Farrington Melinda Misener Hannah Feather Leigh Korey Jared Feldman Lauren Eriks Corinne Florie James Hammond Julia Gwizdz Shira Schwartz Amanda Hibbler Claire Skinner Austin Hill James Pinto Kira Hooker Patricia Khleif Alex Ingraham Alice Tsay Stephen Johnston Carolyn Dekker Alec Josaitis Pam Wolpert Sara Katje Vedran Catovic Doyle Lang Lillian Li Elise Lawrence Colin Corrigan Mandy Luo Scott Beal 6 Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 Feinberg Family Prize nominees (continued) Student Name Instructor Name Andrew Malik Greg Schutz Emily Mantlo Bonnie Tucker Giovanni Martinez Heidi Phillips Sandhya Medapuram Lauren Benjamin Jackie Murray James Pinto Zachary Nerod Carolyn Dekker Alexis Nowicki Melinda Misener Jesse Offenhartz Sahin Acikgoz Sean Khan Ooi Bonnie Tucker Gloria Park Pamela Wolpert Courtney Parr Aubrey Schiavone Shivam Patel Rebecca Tutino Erinn Promo Lauren Kasischke Liza Rosenbloom Shira Schwartz Ryan Rosenheim Patricia Khleif Anum Shahab Melody Pugh David Stimson Lauren Eriks Chad Stone Scott Beal Helen Tan Sahin Acikgoz Justin Williams Jessica Wiederspan Minna Wybrecht Ali Shapiro Kai Chen Yeo Alice Tsay Emily Zuo Patricia Khleif Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 7 Matt Kelley/Granader Family Prize nominees Student Name Instructor Name Olivia Barahal Sharon Pomerantz Alec Chapman Duygu Ula Tess DeWulf Vedran Catovic Ronald Duquette Aubrey Schiavone Cameron Gagnon Alisse Portnoy Elana Goldenkoff Bret Bohman Anna Haritos Lisa Nevett Joseph Iovino Adrienne Jacaruso Stephen Johnston Carolyn Dekker Ardie Kamran Scott Beal Sara Katje Vedran Catovic Jamie Kim Scott Beal Ari Krumbein Virginia Murphy David Mintz A.E.T. (Tiggy) McLaughlin Julia Muntean Adrienne Jacaruso Zach Nerod Carolyn Dekker Courtney Parr Aubrey Schiavone Neena Pio Dave Karczynski Feriel Presswalla Michelle Jacobson Erinn Promo Laura Kasischke Liza Rosenbloom Shira Schwartz Anna Silver Carrie Wood David Sokol Alisse Portnoy Kirsten West Duygu Ula Claire Wood Joseph Groves Sean Yanik Richard Janko 8 Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 Granader Family Multilingual Prize nominees Student Name Instructor Name Junjie Dong Scott Beal Xiaoman Gan Scott Beal Yusheng Jiang Jing Xia Mai Nguyun Jing Xia Karin Pangestu Scott Beal Daniel Vargas-Leon Jing Xia Zhichun (Martin) Wang Lori A. Randall Ziyan Yang Lori A. Randall Granader Family Portfolio Prize nominees Student Name Instructor Name Eric Chapman Gina Brandolino Nadja Drott Scott Beal Jennifer Emery David Ward Jack (John) Griffin Paul Barron Connor Johnston Kodi Scheer DewRina Lee Ali Shapiro Aditi Rajadhyaksha Stephanie Pappas Talis Rehse Julia Babcock Bekah Ruetz Ali Shapiro Kenny Stamper Stephanie Pappas Akemi Tsutsumi Gina Brandolino Katie Vogel Jennifer Metsker Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 9 Introduction Every day, students at the University of Michigan work hard to develop their skills as writers. Every winter, we have a chance to sample the fruits of this labor as we select winners for the first-year writing prize. The English Depart- ment Writing Program and the Sweetland Center for Writing established a first- year writing prize in 2010. With generous support from the Sweetland Center for Writing, Andrew Feinberg and Stacia Smith (both of whom earned English degrees from the University of Michigan), and the Granader Family, we have developed a tradition of honoring students who produce writing of exceptional quality. In this collection, we share the writing of prize-winning students so that other writers may learn from, and feel inspired by, their examples. The award-winning essays are shown to best advantage thanks to the careful edit- ing of Dana Nichols and Jing Xia and the design work of Aaron Valdez. The featured essays illustrate how writers formulate compelling questions, engage in dialogue with other thinkers, incorporate persuasive and illuminating evidence, express powerful and poetic insights, and participate in meaningful conversa- tions. Many writers were involved in discussing and selecting these prize-win- ning essays. Scott Beal, Dana Nichols, Stephanie Pappas, and Jing Xia read sub- missions for the Granader Family Prize for Outstanding Writing Portfolio. Louis Cicciarelli, Shelley Manis, Christine Modey, Dana Nichols, and Simone Sessolo read submissions for the Matt Kelley/Granader Family Prize for Excellence in First-Year Writing. Submissions for the Granader Family Prize for Excellence Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 11 in Multilingual Writing were read by David Gold, Dana Nichols, and Naomi Silver. Submissions for the English Department Writing Program’s Feinberg Family Writing Prize were read by Danielle Lillge (co-chair), Justine Neiderhiser (co-chair), Phil Christman, Gail Gibson, James Hammond, Adrienne Jacaruso, Aubrey Schiavone, Ali Shapiro, Adam Snead, Meg Sweeney, Joanna Want, and Katie Willingham. We are deeply grateful to all of these writers for rolling up their sleeves and participating in the challenging but rewarding work of deter- mining why particular selections merit prizes. We are equally grateful to the many students who submitted essays for these writing prizes and the many instructors who encouraged and supported them. As writing teachers, we relish the opportunity to learn from the challeng- ing questions, intellectual energy, creativity, and dedication that our students and their teachers bring to our classrooms. We hope that you will gain as much pleasure as we have from reading the writing contained in this volume. David Gold, Acting Director, Sweetland Center for Writing Meg Sweeney, Director, English Department Writing Program 12 Excellence in First-Year Writing 2015 Feinberg Family Prize for Excellence in First-Year Writing On behalf of the selection committee, we are excited to introduce the essays written by the three winners of the 2014 Feinberg Family Prize for Excel- lence in First-Year Writing. In this way, we celebrate and honor the high quality writing that our students compose and our instructors support in the English Department Writing Program. We feel grateful to have had the opportunity to read many of the 48 essays that were nominated for the prize this year. The judges made very difficult decisions in selecting only three winners; indeed,