BiJou 26 The Bisexual Journal www.bine.net/bijou 20 years BiNe: Interviews Lightblue Russia BiCon 2012 BiBerlinCamp and more.... BiJou 26 Table of Contents Words from the Editor Words from the Editor ........................................................3 20 years BiNe: ..................................................................4 Hi guys, Interview with Anne and Wolf .......................................4 A year of anniversaries: The Bisexual Network is turning 20! BiCon is in its 30th year! The Hamburg Interview with Thomas ................................................7 Bi-Stammtisch has been around for 10 years! And Moscow prides itself in prohibiting gay pride pa- rades for the next 100 years. Interview with Mara ....................................................8 With BiNe e.V. I’m sensing a yearning for change. Somehow everyone wishes for younger members Interview with Peter ................................................. 10 and more political engagement. But I have to say I don’t find the current situation as gloomy as Interview with Vivian ................................................ 12 some people make it out to be. There’s been a lot of development in the past years. In addition to only two open meetings and the women’s meeting we now have a men’s meeting, a low budget mee- Quo vadis BiNe? ....................................................... 15 ting, the BiBerlin camp, other projects and meetings, international contacts, initial bi studies, etc. Lightblue Russia ............................................................. 18 Although I have to admit I get frustrated sometimes when people feel that 2 Euros for a thick issue of the Bijou or a pin is too much, aren’t willing to write even a short article, don’t reply to e-mails BiCon 2012 .................................................................... 20 or still desperately hold on to their bi invisibility. Men, Women, Trans*: ....................................................... 23 And yet there are incredibly active people whose presence I’m very grateful for! And maybe YOU The men meet again… .............................................. 23 can sign up on the new forum – either because you want to organise something yourself or be- cause you’re open for certain activities (not necessarily as main organiser but as a collaborator): Party mottos of the bi women‘s meetings since 2002 ...... 25 http://aktionsforum.bine-forum.de/ Trans* at women’s and men’s meetings ........................ 25 Christoph & Frank BDSM and bisexuality: ..................................................... 26 What is S&M? ........................................................... 26 Interview with Naxia ................................................. 26 Experiences of a bi man ............................................. 28 Study: Bisexual life stories in late modernity ...................... 29 Bisexuality doesn’t equal bisexuality! 10 Years “Bi & Friends HH” ............................................... 34 Not every bisexual is the same. There are plenty of variations! I think the differences between dif- Politics .......................................................................... 35 ferent bisexuals are greater than between hetero-, bi-, and homosexuals. Since not every issue of the Bijou can cover all types of bisexuals, let me point out a few ways in Politicians on the issue of bisexuality .......................... 35 which bisexuals can differ from each other. They can be anywhere between: Gay marriage – Thoughts of a bi woman ....................... 40 Bi in the City ................................................................. 42 • Monogamous to polyamorous, • Loyal to cheating, BiBerlin Camp 2012 ......................................................... 44 • Having sex with only one person to being a swinger, Swingerclubs in region 2 .................................................. 46 • asexual to nymphomaniac, • more attracted to one gender to “fifty-fifty“, Bi Woman Solo Roleplay ................................................... 49 • completely outed to completely closeted, Impressum ..................................................................... 55 • interested in men and women to interested in more androgynous people, • possibly transgender, intersexual, etc or not, Last page....................................................................... 56 • identifying oneself as bisexual to not believing in labels. Each contributor in this journal has his or her own idea as well – and by the mere act of writing the article nothing is said about their own sexual identity, orientation, or behaviour. Frank 3 BiJou 26 BiJou 26 liberately. Maybe Hamburg has just become more were reportedly more than 100 inquiries about Interview with Anne and Wolf open, maybe people are becoming more voyeu- bisexuality. But that’s just the beginning. We ristic, or possibly there is an actual interest in need to organise events and show up on talk the topic. All I know is that I can only repeat shows, although I myself would develop a mys- Since when have you been with BiNe? over pretty quickly. It’s just such a loving atmos- myself: BiNe needs to become more public. I still terious toothache on the day of the talk show… Anne: My first open meeting was in 2003, Tho- phere which makes the contact to both genders remember that 70 year old man on the side of I had my gay coming out in a catholic semina- mas from Hamburg told me about it over a game so much easier. What I also really like is that I the road yelling, “Finally something for bisexu- ry school. After an experience like that, nothing of Doppelkopf. He just raved about it. Not long feel free to live out both male and female parts. als!” can phase me. But not everyone has to make after, we were on our way to the meeting in The gender lines are blurred and translucent. New such a dramatic public entrance. There are more Butzbach. people are integrated well, which didn’t use to What are your expectations? What should BiNe subtle ways. Everyone can in their own way make Wolf: The first time I heard about BiNe was 14 be so easy, but now they always hold a welcome work on in terms of public relations? a small contribution to make bisexuality more years ago over the internet, as I was dealing for the new ones to give them an easy start. Anne: On one hand just for us, for my partner public. with my own bisexuality. I initially learned about Wolf: My first meeting was at the Waldschlöss- and myself. There are also connections to the the zBi in Berlin (editor’s note: Zentrum für Bi- chen in Goettingen. During the introductory eve- polyamory movement. I just want to be legally Can you tell us a little bit more about your stran- ning another bi man told about secure. If Wolf were to die, should Peter (editor’s ge past, Wolf? himself and how he’d spent a note: Wolf’s male partner) and I fight over the Wolf: Sure. In 1985 I founded the first HIV sup- lot of time living life as a gay inheritance? I don’t need matrimonial splitting port group and headed it for two years. I’d recei- man and then fell back onto or financial support, just the legal support that ved a false positive result, the serums had been the straight wagon. I saw a lot is to be expected in any marriage. switched and someone else had received my ne- of similarities between him and Wolf: No financial support? But there should gative result, although he in turn was actually myself which made things ea- be! An association that doesn’t have any mo- positive. It was the end of the world for me since sier for me. ney can’t accomplish much. I’m in favour of BiNe back then it was pretty much a death sentence. Anne: I’d also like to pass on being funded and supported. You’d have maybe 2 to 5 years left to live while some good advice from Tho- Back when I came out as bi, I initially went to nowadays, thanks to modern medicine, one can mas: Take a day off after the gay counselling. The people there were totally get pretty old (editor’s note: However, Aids is meeting, to give yourself the uninformed then and couldn’t give me any sort still incurable and the medication isn’t a walk in time to return to reality! of information on bisexual counselling. And it the park either). Back then there was nothing. doesn’t stop there. I could drive up the wall. Die On the day that I received my result, there were Is BiNe just the open meetings Siegessäule, Berlin’s gay scene magazine, didn’t over 100 people who’d tested positive. I then for you or is there more to it? have the slightest interest in an article about bi- began privately holding the “Monday group” in Wolf: For me it’s mainly just sexuality. We approached them about it but they my apartment. The support group was frequented the meetings. If I could go just don’t want it! by 10-15 people each week. nuts, I’d wish for Bine to be The test result caused me to drastically restrict more visible, so that we could Let’s go back – What can BiNe do to become myself and no longer be sexually active. Only sexuelle Lebensweisen – Centre for Bisexual Life- reach more bisexuals who might still be living more public? once did I sleep with an actually positive man, styles - www.z-bi.de), and got into it through it in secret and to themselves. The visibility of Wolf: Good question! First of all more people since then we’d say we already have it so it’s that. I’m not a member though. bisexuals has been a dream of mine for decades! need to go public. I, for one, am ready for it. I’m okay. Boy, I must have had a great guardian an- Back when I was still living in Bielefeld I’d al- completely outed, no matter where. gel watching over me that day! Did you meet through BiNe? ways ask the men that I had sex with whether Anne: We should be represented everywhere whe- Wolf: We met through the zBi. That’s also where they were gay or bisexual. Most of them said that re one might expect bisexuals to be – a booth at Can you tell us about your bisexual experiences, we met a bunch of other bisexuals whom we then they were bi.