Express Football League: Week 8 To: Lloyd Brady From: Groucho Mark Date: 11/3/13 Re: aking a tatement It’s depressing getting to week 8 of the season only to realize you are completely out of contention. That is the case for the Hokey team once known as the Michigan Wolverines. In the end, Rich Rod was right. To be able to score, you need a gimmicky offense that exploits the defenses weakness(es). Ergo, scoring 63 points Michigan scored against Indiana (and, likewise, Indiana scoring 28 against MSU). But 28 points would not have cut it this week. The Spartan offense has gelled into a green blob that plods mercilessly around the field and occasionally extends a pseudopod sufficiently far enough to score a touchdown. State’s best offense is its defense. It converted Michigan’s power downhill running game into a run and …. SHOOT he’s going to get tackled again! Gorgeous Al Borges is the reincarnation of Mike DeBord, which is why Brady Hoke’s offense looks so much more like a Lloyd Carr offense and less like one that would be run by Tom Brady. “We are going to run the ball. We are going to run the ball. We are … what can we do?”. But this paragraph really wasn’t supposed to be about the hopelessness of the Michigan Wolverine situation. Instead, it is about the hopelessness of the lower echelon of our league. The bottom 3 teams are now more than a great week out of contention (and this is despite due to Tom Brady). The next 2 teams are a very good to great week out of first. Without some sort of Nebraska-style Hail Mary, these teams are out of it before we even hit the half-way point. What happened to the Contra League? Or the Alaniz Yahoo! style Contra-Contra League with a week-by-week system? At any rate, perhaps all these teams have left to do is try to stay out of last and avoid the Sacko prize. On to the top of the league. As discussed last week, ET’s team continues to make great strides forward. He was the only 1000+ point team this past week and prospects continue to look good for him for moving into first for this week. Then the question will be can he hang on as his team hits some key bye weeks. Cesar and Barry are hanging out in the 800+ points from the lead range. They will need some big weeks from key contributors to make a move. Roster update: The Ailing Antelopes astutely reviewed the free agency wire and selected Jaquizz Rodgers as their replacement running back for their ailing 3 running backs. Only the Alpha Male has them. Continuation of the sad state of affairs for that once proud franchise – trying to draft other team’s players. I hear Adrian Peterson may be available. At any rate, after receiving some expert advice, the Antelopes added Knowshon Moreno to their roster, so he isn’t out there for anyone else anymore. You can have Ahmad Bradshaw if you want him, however. He was released. Records update: The Hurting Kats Clavicle Johnson scored a season high 537 as the Kats scored 899 (i.e. the other 5 players scored 362 combined). While he isn’t hurt yet, the last season high record holder was Julio Jones, who is out for the year. And the Lions are winning. That upsets the world order. Something is bound to happen like the demise we’ve seen from Philly. You Herd it here first. Classified ads: Need a running back? This franchise sports 5 of them. Contact [email protected] if you for a 2 for 1 trade at RB or if you can offer a quality WR. All reasonable trade offers will be considered. On to the next round and the completion of the half-way point in the year. 1 EFL Individual Records ALL TIME SEASON Pos Pts Player Year By Pts Player Wk By QB 582 Peyton Manning 2013 BC/TC 582 Peyton Manning 1 BC/TC RB 445 Adrian Peterson 2007 KT/CT 260 DeMarco Murray 3 BB/DB WR 591 Jimmy Smith 2000 RW/TM 537 Calvin Johnson 8 KT/CT K 170 Chris Boniol 1996 ET 100 Dan Bailey 2 MR EFL Team Records ALL TIME SEASON Record Total Owner Year Record Total Owner Week High 1,554 Robert/Terry 2004 High 1,462 Mike 2 Low 144 Robert 1993 Low 532 Chris/Mack 6 2 .