Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/2598314. Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Multi Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, A Very Potter Musical Relationship: Quirinus Quirrell/Voldemort, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Cho Chang/Cedric Diggory Character: Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore, Ron Weasley, Severus Snape, Voldemort, Quirinus Quirrell, Cho Chang, Cedric Diggory, Neville Longbottom Additional Tags: A Very Potter Musical - Freeform, totally awesome, script, Write-up, i love this Stats: Published: 2014-11-10 Words: 16785 A Very Potter Musical Script by VivianPotter Summary This is the script to Starkid's A Very Potter Musical, shortened and altered so it's around an hour and a half. I wrote this up because me and my friend's are performing it, and I though I'd share it here to spare everyone else the time- enjoy! Scene 1 (Harry is sitting by himself on his trunk. He looks worried and anxious as he looks around and pushes the hair out of his eyes and begins to sing.) Song: Get Back To Hogwarts Harry Potter: Underneath these stairs I hear the sneers and feel glares of My cousin, my uncle and my aunt. Can't believe how cruel they are And it stings my lighting scar To know that they'll never, ever give me what I want. I know I don't deserve these Stupid rules made by the Dursleys Here on Privet drive. Can't take all of these muggles, But despite all of my struggles, I'm still alive. I’m sick of summer and this waiting around. Man, its September, and I’m skipping this town Hey, it’s no mystery, There’s nothing here for me now (He stands up.) I got to get back to Hogwarts; I got to get back to school. Got to get myself to Hogwarts, Where everybody knows I'm cool Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts, To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It’s all that I love, and it's all that I need. At HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, I think I'm going back. I'll see my friends, going to laugh 'til we cry Take my Firebolt, going to take to the sky NO WAY this year anyone's going to die, And it's going to be totally awesome! I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on! And do it all with my best friend Ron, 'Cause together we're totally awesome! (Ron bursts into the room enthusiastically) Ron Weasley: Yeah, and it's going to be totally awesome! Did somebody say Ron Weasley? (They hug and greet each other) Ron: Hey, sorry it took me so long to get here. I had to go get some Floo Powder, but, uh, we got to get going. Get your trunk and let’s go! Harry: Where’re we going? Ron: To Diagon Alley, of course! Harry & Ron: (while flapping arms) Floo Powder power! Floo Powder power! Ron : It's been so long, but we're going back Don't go for work, don't go there for class Harry: As long as were together- Ron : -going to kick some grass Harry & Ron : -And it’s going to be totally awesome! This year we'll take everybody by storm, Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm- (Hermione pops up behind them with a stern look on her face.) Hermione Granger: But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class If we want to pass our OWLS! Ron: (With a roll of the eyes) Aw, Hermione, why do you have to be such a buzzkill? Hermione: Because, school’s not all about having fun. We need to study hard if we want to be good witches and wizards! I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart Check out my grades, they're "O’s" for a start What I lack in looks, well, I make up in heart, And well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome This year I plan to study a lot- Ron: That would be cool if you were actually hot! Harry: Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got! Ron: And that's cool... Hermione: And that's totally awesome! Harry, Ron & Hermione: Yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome! We're sick of summer and this waiting around! It's like we're sitting in the lost and found! Don't take no sorcery For anyone to see how... We got to get back to Hogwarts. We got to get back to school. We got to get back to Hogwarts, Where everything is magic-cooooool! Ensemble : Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS! Harry, Ron & Hermione: -I think we're going back... Scene 2 Ginny Weasley: Ron! You were supposed to take me to Madame Malkin’s and use those sickles Mum gave you for my robe fittings! Harry: Uh, who’s this? Ron: This is my stupid little sister Ginny. She’s, like, a whole year younger than me. Ginny, this is Harry. Harry Potter. It’s Harry Potter. (Ginny and Harry shake hands.) Ginny: You’re Harry Potter! You’re The Boy Who Lived! Harry: Yeah, and you’re Ginny. Ginny: It’s Ginevra. Harry: Cool. Ginny’s fine. Hermione: Do you guys hear that? Ron: Yeah, someone’s … dancing? (He recoils) Whoa! (They notice three girls, dancing onto stage.) Ginny: Who’s that? Harry: That’s Cho Chang. Ron: Yeah, that’s the girl Harry been in love with since, like, forever. Hermione: Yeah, but he won’t say anything to her! Ron: Well, yeah, you never tell a girl you like her. It makes you look like an idiot. Cho Chang: In case you didn’t know, I’m Cho Chang. Harry: She is completely perfect! Ron: Yeah, too bad she’s DATING Cedric Diggory. Harry: What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory? (Cedric comes between the four and sweeps his arms, knocking them over.) Cedric Diggory: Oh, Cho Chang I am so in love with Cho Chang from Bangkok to Ding Dang I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang! (Cho, Cedric and Cho’s Posse exit.) Harry: Uh! I hate him! (They start to leave. Draco Malfoy enters dramatically with Goyle in tow.) Malfoy: Did someone say Draco Malfoy?!? Harry: What do you want, Draco? Malfoy: (He gestures to Goyle) You, be a dear and go pay for my robes, will you? So, Potter, back for another year at Hogwarts, are you? Maybe this year you’ll wise up and hang out with a higher caliber of wizards. Harry: Hey, listen, Malfoy, Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Malfoy: Have it your way. (He notices Ginny) Wait. Don’t tell me. Red hair, hand-me-down clothes and a stupid complexion. You must be a Weasley. Ron: Oh my god, shut up Malfoy! Malfoy: Well, isn’t this cute! It’s like a little loser family. Hogwarts has really gone the dogs. Luckily next year I’ll be transferred to Pigfarts! This year you bet, going to get outta here The reign of Malfoy is drawing near I’ll have the greatest wizard career, And it’s going to be totally awesome Look out world, for the dawn of the day When everyone will do whatever I say! I’ll be the one who is totally awesome! Goyle: Yeah you’ll be the one who is totally awesome. Hermione: C’mon, guys, we’re going to miss the train! (Vague train shape) Ensemble: Who knows how fast this year’s going to go? Hand me a glass, let the butterbeer flow Harry: Maybe at last, I’ll talk to Cho! Ron : Oh no, that’d be WAY too awesome! Ensemble: We’re back to learn everything that we can It’s great to come back to where we began And here we are And alakazam! Here we go, this is totally awesome! Come on and teach us everything you know The summers over and were itchin’ to go Neville: I think we’re ready for Albus Dumbledore! Dumbledore: Oooooo Ahhhhhh! I welcome, all of you to Hogwarts. I welcome back you all to school. Did you know that here at Hogwarts We’ve got a hidden swimming pool? Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts Welcome, all you hotties, nerds, and fools Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts I’d like to go over just a couple of rules: My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am Headmaster of Hogwarts. You can all call me Dumbledore. I suppose you could also call me Albus-if you want a detention. I’m just kidding. I’ll expel you if you call me Albus. Ensemble: Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts It's all that I love, and all that I need. At HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends To Gryffindors! Hufflepuffs! Ravenclaws! Slytherins! Back to the place where our story begins It’s Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Dumbledore: I’m sorry, what’s its name? Ensemble: Hogwarts, Hogwarts Dumbledore: I didn’t hear you kids! Ensemble: Hogwarts, Hogwarts Harry: Man, I’m glad I’m back.