M 3 MORE ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR Uniform with this Volume Each 35. 6d. net ANECDOTES OF PULPIT AND PARISH "Nearly a thousand good stories." The Pall Mall Gazette. "Abundant and well selected, con- tains a fund of wit and humour." Evening Standard. ANECDOTES OF THE THEATRE "The author has certainly added to his reputation as a collector of good stories with this well- chosen and representative collection." The Guardian. GRANT RICHARDS LTD. MORE ANECDOTES BENCH AND BAR COLLECTED BY ARTHUR H. ENGELBAGH AUTHOR OF "ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR" " ANECDOTES OF PDLPIT AMD PARISH " AND "ANECDOTES OF THE THEATRE" I -CARDED MI LONDON GRANT RICHARDS LTD. ST MARTIN'S STREET LEICESTER SQUARE W.C. PRINTED BY THE RIVERSIDE PRESS LIMITED EDINBURGH 1915 MORE ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR the opening of the Aylesbury Assizes on one AToccasion, Lord Campbell censured the High Sheriff of Berkshire for permitting his Roman Catholic chaplain to ride in the carriage with the judges and sit in the court with them in his clerical " " garb. The sheriff's chapla'n," he said, becomes for the time the chaplain of the judges, and the religion of the judges is the Protestant religion." Since Lord Campbell's time there have, however, been many judges appointed claiming membership of the Church of Rome. T ORD JUSTICE KNIGHT-BRUCE had a rare -1 / gift of sarcasm. Once, when a young barrister was asserting very positively some bad law, Knight- Bruce turned to the leading counsel of his court and gravely asked each of them successively whether he was aware of the doctrine in question, as it was new to him. On another occasion a barrister began by saying that the case was not arguable by the other " side. Then I suppose we shall be impeached if we decide against you," said the Lord Justice. A I 2 MORE ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR " T3 ARON PARKE was what is known as a black- " -U letter lawyer that is, a man impressed with a profound reverence for ancient precedents and a perverse preference for technicality over justice. An amusing story relates that once he was summoned to advise the Lords, and in the midst of the argument was suddenly seized with a fainting fit. Cold water, hartshorn, and other restoratives were applied, but without effect. At length an idea, occurred to one of his brethren, who well knew his peculiar temperament, and he immediately acted on it. He rushed into the library, seized a large musty volume of the old statutes, came back, and applied it to the nostrils of the patient. The effect was marvellous. He at once opened his eyes, gave them a slight rub, and in a few seconds he was as well as ever ! his latter years Baron Parke acquired a habit of INthinking aloud which led on one occasion to an amusing incident. While trying an old woman upon a charge of stealing faggots, he unconsciously ejacu- " lated : Why, one faggot is as like another faggot as an egg is like another egg." The counsel defending the case heard the observation, and repeated it, as " " " his own, to the jury. Stop ! said Parke. Stop ! It is an intervention of Providence. That was the very thought which passed through my mind. Gentle- " " men (addressing the jury), "acquit the prisoner ! T ORD ELDON once had a narrow escape from a J * watery grave. From Ulverstone to Lancaster there is a short but very dangerous cut across the MORE ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR 3 sands, and, being in a hurry, he was going to take it at its most dangerous time when the tide was beginning to flow. But as he was setting off he asked the landlord of an inn whether any persons were ever " lost in going to Lancaster by the seashore. No, " I no," was the answer ; think nobody has ever been lost, they have all been found at low water." A WELSHWOMAN once attempted to bribe AA. Lord Eldon by sending him a goose, expressing " a grave hope that her munificence would not induce him to favour her, as she did not mean it as a bribe." In writing an account of this to his daughter, he " said : I think Taffy the Welshwoman will be much surprised when she receives my letter, informing her that, being a judge, she might as properly apply to her goose for advice as to me." T ORD ELDON was a very considerate husband, -1 ' as the following story of him tends to prove. When about to give a dinner to the members of the Cabinet, he himself ordered a fine turbot, which cost a guinea and a half, but which he told Lady Eldon he had got a great bargain at half-a-guinea. When " he came home at night Lady Eldon said : My dear John, / have been doing something for the family as to-day well as you, for our old friend, Mrs , having called upon me when you were gone, I showed her the turbot and told her what a bargain we had got. She said it was well worth a guinea, and I let her have it for that money." Lord Eldon kept 4 MORE ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR his temper, and next day, when the Cabinet dinner was to be given, turbots being scarce, he could not get a nice one under two guineas. OCARLETT Lord Abinger was not considered O to be very learned in the law, hence his de- " scription in the punning remark : Scarlett is not deep-read." ADAMS, when at the Irish Bar, was known " " to everyone as Dick Adams and was the JUDGE " " admitted Court Jester of his time. One day, when acting as a Revising Barrister, some conduct about a voter's claim, other than correct, was alleged against a very truculent-looking labouring but it fell to the man, the ground ; whereupon Revising Barrister said to the man in very grandilo- " quent tones : Sir, I take pleasure in stating that you leave this court without the slightest additional stain on your character" ONSLOW was once engaged in a SERJEANTmost extraordinary trial concerning the expected delivery (as her followers imagined) of Johanna Southcott. Some inhabitants of Gravesend agreed to wager in the negative of the fact that this woman would be delivered of a male child before a certain date. The plaintiff was a preacher of her doctrines, and he staked 200 against a 100 that she would be so favoured. Serjeant Best was for the preacher, but Onslow objected on the ground of indecency to the trial of such a question, and he added that MORE ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR 5 Johanna was a single woman. The Chief Justice (Gibbs) was perplexed and asked for precedents against wagers, which were furnished, upon which, " with a view of making an end of such cases, out of mercy to the parties," he allowed the case to proceed. Evidence being given that Johanna South- cott never had a husband, and passed for a single " woman, the Lord Chief Justice said : Now that the wager involves the question of a single woman having a child, I won't proceed with the case." Campbell suggested that the woman herself gave out that she was with child, and prophesied that child would be a male. Were she alive, therefore, she would have no right to complain of her feelings Chief Justice Gibbs being hurt ; to which Lord replied : "So I am to try the extent of a woman's chastity and delicacy in an action for a wager. Call " the next case ! good stories turn on the discomfiture MANYof a witness, or the bamboozling of a jury by a clever counsel. An Old Bailey barrister was once retained to defend a young man who had stolen a quantity of linen of a somewhat peculiar pattern. Seeing that his client's case was desperate, the barrister wrote down to the prisoner's solicitor, ordering him to beg, buy, borrow, or steal enough linen of the same pattern as would make him a shirt. The linen was accordingly procured and the shirt made. At the Assizes the prosecuting draper explained that the linen was of a peculiar texture, " and made expressly for him. Well, sir," said the 6 MORE ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR prisoner's counsel, "you say you would know the linen anywhere." "Of course I should," replied the draper. "Then have the goodness to come down here and examine my shirt-sleeve." Down came the draper from the witness-box and began to study the sleeve. In a minute or two he started and turned pale. "Well," said the lawyer, "do you notice any resemblance between the linen and " my shirt ? "A good deal of resemblance," " faltered the draper. Are they of exactly the " " same material ? asked the counsel. They seem to be so," stammered the witness. "Did you ever " " make me a shirt ? Not that I know of," replied " the discomfited witness. Then go back to your place, sir," thundered the prisoner's counsel, "and never dare to accuse a fellow-creature on such " frivolous grounds again ! The prisoner was acquitted ! FURTHER example of this style of advocacy A is worth recording. About the year 1848, when revolutions and secret societies bulked largely in the mind, a labourer was tried for small public ( x v ^ome offence at a country Assize. The case was going hard against him, and his counsel was at his wits' end, when ,suddenly he noticed that the prosecutor and her witnesses were all carrying large cotton umbrellas, although it was a broiling hot day.