JUNE/JULY 2012 Caribbean Travel+l ife 49 THE Modern GUIDE TO Marauding & Hooliganism — - — Festive flotilla sailing in the British Virgin Islands raises a question like a black flag: Why do we celebrate pirates? — - — By matthew miller Photos by shelly strazis PLAYING PIRATE ≥ The author (opposite, with rum) taps his inner ruffian during the HIHO, a weeklong event that blends catamaran cruising and partying through the BVI in the guise of an (optional) windsurfing and paddle-boarding race. 50 Caribbean Travel+l ife JUNE/JULY 2012 JUNE/JULY 2012 Caribbean Travel+l ife 51 Sneak Off — - — white sail appears against the But why do we celebrate pirates, Playing castaway pale-blue upwind horizon, a even for make-believe? These were in the boulders of A faster ship than ours — and rough guys. How rough? Turns out the Baths doesn’t probably a better crew since our crew pirates did not make people walk the get much better – includes me. Familiar colors fly top- plank — J.M. Barrie invented that to especially with your most on the mast, but is this a friend? frighten children who refused to grow catamaran home “Coming about!” shouts Capt. John. up — but they did whip people to death just offshore. “Raise the mainsail and jib.” We’ll need and burn people alive. GET TO WORK — - — all the canvas to outrun them. Gruesome stuff, and HIHO participants We scramble. I don’t know what can sail, paddle it gets worse. These to do. Thankfully we’re on a char- or simply sit back were the terrorists of tered catamaran. John and Colleen and enjoy explor- the early 1700s, and ing the BVI. (First Sea Lady) could sail it alone. Of were hunted as such, course, if that ship is a pirate corvette paddling race that crisscrosses the brought to account in chains and and marauders come vaulting over BVI. We’ve romped to steel-drum executed, their corpses displayed at the the gunwales, John and Colleen may bands, swilled Pusser’s rum with gin- entrances to ports as warning to other be glad I’m here to meet the first wave. ger beer and hardly worried at all about would-be pirates. Yo ho, indeed. “No quarter asked or given!” I cry getting hanged for treason. So are we promoting all that when into the wind. “Prepare to be boarded!” The HIHO lets hardworking, usu- we dress up and say “aargh”? Or are we I might have this backward. ally law-abiding folk enjoy the softer simply celebrating the rummy lifestyle, We’re offshore Anegada, 14 miles side of a pirate’s life. We already speak the devil-may-care refusal to follow from the safe shelter of Virgin Gorda. the language, me hearties, and there’s a rules? It’s a bit of a paradox: How to do But who’s chasing us? The ghost of Sam pirate party night after next. Yo ho. a little harmless gallivanting without Bellamy? Henry Morgan? promoting violence and crime? “It’s Jim,” says John. “He’s crafty.” Meanwhile, Jim is somehow gain- Jim Hawkins, the crafty narrator ing on us. “He’s got an extra two feet of Treasure Island? No, Jim Wallace, Pirate Law: of beam, that’s how,” says Capt. John. the cheerful British Airways pilot we Jim’s boat also has air conditioning. drank with last night. share with your Curse him. As his luxurious yacht This is the HIHO, a ≤ paddle out crew – the ship work, passes ours, he’s smiling and waving. weeklong windsurf- While some Jim is a pretty nice guy for a pirate. ing and stand-up- HIHOers the fresh coconuts, “See you in hell,” I say. — next ≥ race each day, more come to the last dry sand. island-hop and let loose. 52 Caribbean Travel+l ife JUNE/JULY 2012 JUNE/JULY 2012 Caribbean Travel+l ife 53 nce upon a time at the pirate Still, though, our pirate idolatry gets a museum gift shop in Nassau, little silly, remaking history to satisfy our PIRATE O Bahamas, I asked a 10-year- thirst for high-seas romance. On my way BUSINESS old girl why she admired pirates. She’d to Tortola for the HIHO start, I spent That “thing of beauty,” a viewed the museum’s dummies carous- a night at Bluebeard’s Castle resort, on sailing ship around the turn ing belowdecks in the life-size model St. Thomas, USVI. Despite the name, of the 18th century, “could be ship, marooned on a beach with a single the hotel has zero confirmed pirate turned into a torture chamber bottle of rum, waiting at the gallows history, though it does have a tower. by a sadistic captain,” writes and, I imagine, defiant to the end — “I On the brick streets of Charlotte David Cordingly in Under the do repent! I repent I’ve not done more Amalie, I visited Blackbeard’s Castle, Black Flag: The Romance and mischief!” Now the young tourist was built by the Danish government in 1679 the Reality of Life Among the selecting a souvenir. Perhaps the ever- to guard the harbor — against pirates, Pirates. Such captains became popular skull-and-bones flag that says, for example. Again, there’s no concrete the targets of vengeful pirate “The beatings will continue until morale evidence linking Edward “Blackbeard” crews, themselves largely improves.” Or the one that says, “Sur- Teach to the castle. “It’s just a lore,” comprised of former navy and render the booty!” So what do 10-year- said our guide. That is, merchant sailors. And captured old girls like? In answer to my question they made it all up to LIFE AT SEA seamen often faced a choice. about her affection for loathsome sell tickets to tourists, Surly captains, Join the pirates on their quest scoundrels, the young gift-shopper said, because everyone loves catamaran races, for booty or return to a life of pirate play — all “I don’t know; I just love them.” pirates. The site also part of the HIHO extreme hardship. Many found In the so-called “golden age of piracy,” had a T. rex jump out to experience. the benefits of outlaw status which peaked around 1720, naval and scare you, a dinosaur at outweighed the risks. merchant sailing ships were themselves Blackbeard’s. Historical accuracy may In The Invisible Hook: The cruel workplaces. Men were beaten and not be the priority. But you could imag- Hidden Economics of Pirates, hung from the shrouds as punishment ine, if you squinted from the ramparts, Peter T. Leeson describes for even minor offenses. Compensa- pirate ships sweeping in below, can- how pirates’ seemingly wild tion was minimal, life expectancy brief. nons blasting at the fort. methods — flying skull flags The merchant service was even worse. In fact, two black pirate ships rested and dressing like fire-breathing Piracy, even with its own yet more dire at anchor in port during my stay, both demons (a form of brand consequences, did offer an alternative. flying the Jolly Roger flag. OK, those management used to scare The harshness of life in those times weren’t real pirate ships but tour boats the heck out of enemy crews), doesn’t excuse pirate behavior but goes used for booze cruises. As I waited torturing victims and letting some way to explaining it. Consistent one day for a kayak tour, a sport boat them live (so they could with the myth, pirates did live by a code motored by sporting the name Whydah. spread the word not to resist — courage in battle, equitable division The pirate Sam Bellamy captured the pirate attacks) — had sound of wealth among pirate crews, interra- slave ship Whydah in the Caribbean economic bases. That is, these cial cooperation to a degree. Compared and used it to raid ships off Virginia. A scholars found pirate behavior to the alternatives, these were vessels storm wrecked the boat off Cape Cod, to be a rational, intentional, governed by honor — albeit compro- Massachusetts, in 1717, killing Bellamy — - — cooperative and often effective mised by all that larcenous murdering. in the process. He died doing what he drink like a girl ≥ (if perilous) business strategy. loved. Miraculously restored, Whydah ... if you dare. That holds true with modern is now this high-horsepower runabout Scant clothing pirates, whose lifestyle choices with coolers full of American beer. It and ample rum are often driven by desperate embody a pirate’s Pirate Law: might actually make a good assault life. So does circumstances. They’re trying, vehicle for modern-day pirates. forgetting about in Leeson’s words, “to achieve fight with courage. There was real pirate history in these tomorrow. their self-interested goals Play with fire. parts — ships captured and burned in — - — in the best ways they know this harbor; governors tried for abetting how.” That doesn’t justify what Drink with cute pirates; treasure caves in the USVI, the pirates did and do, but it does girls and both BVI and the Bahamas. But 300 years make it harder to dismiss them on, we prefer our fantasy of piracy to as mere mayhem-loving luna- eyes open. the real thing. History is in many ways tics. It also reminds us to treat more intriguing than our fantasy, but it’s our employees well. Someday not as good a party theme. — next ≥ they may be in charge. 54 Caribbean Travel+l ife JUNE/JULY 2012 JUNE/JULY 2012 Caribbean Travel+l ife 55 Land Ho — - — Anegada is like the Baja of the BVI – an island separated by 14 miles of warm, open water.