2 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 3 4 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 5 6 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 7 8 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 9 1 0 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m 1 1 Publisher XMAG LLC. General Manager Bryan A. Bybee Editor John Voge BB, Alice and Diego (not by choice) Production / Design Guru Diego Graphic Design Darkstar Graphics Shawna Contributing Photographers Pdxblackbook.com London Lunoux • HYPNOX Steve Lenz • AmbeRed • Danger Ninja Advertising Adam (503) 804-4479 Mariah (503) 827-8018 (ESCORTS) John Voge (206) 498-3056 Distribution Enrico Carrisco • Alice Contributors Spooky X • Statutory Ray Mata-Leao • John Voge Ophelia Derriere • Doctor K Pantera • Wildflower • Matt Rose Miss Galetea Hancock Kenny Mack Cover Photography London Lunoux Cover Makeup Melissa Riggs Cover Models Danni from Stars Salem 1 2 e x o t i c m a g a z i n e | x m a g . c o m Issue #187 • Volume 16 • Number 07 January 2009 Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved. AN AURALLY STIMULATED Published monthly by XMAG LLC. 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Editor blue review takes on stagnetti’s revenge John Voge BB, Alice and Diego (not by choice) by miss galatea hancock page 18 Production / Design Guru Diego Graphic Design Darkstar Graphics Shawna AN APPETITE FOR Contributing Photographers Pdxblackbook.com RECONSTRUCTION London Lunoux • HYPNOX Steve Lenz • AmbeRed • Danger Ninja the return of guns n’ roses by john voge Advertising Adam (503) 804-4479 page 30 Mariah (503) 827-8018 (ESCORTS) John Voge (206) 498-3056 Distribution Enrico Carrisco • Alice TOP SLAPPS AND KICKIN’ Contributors Spooky X • Statutory Ray KNOCKERS Mata-Leao • John Voge Ophelia Derriere • Doctor K the best of 2008’s hip hop hotness Pantera • Wildfl ower • Matt Rose by kenny mack Miss Galetea Hancock Kenny Mack page 62 Cover Photography London Lunoux Cover Makeup Melissa Riggs Cover Models Danni from Stars Salem Exotic is not liable for any images of models used by advertisers to promote products or services. Rights and releases are the sole responsibility of the advertisers. All THE SHAME OF ‘08 PG. 22 persons appearing in photos are over the age of 18. One copy of each edition of Exotic is available free to any person each month. Anyone removing magazines in bulk will EROTIC CITY PG. 24 be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Any reproduction of materials presented herein without the expressed written consent of the publisher THE BOTTOM LINE PG. 28 is forbidden by law. In scientifi c case studies, reading Exotic magazine has caused certain undesirable side effects. Possible side effects include headache, dizziness, SELF DEFENSE PG. 34 mild nausea, diahrrea, vomiting, rash, itching, hives, swelling of the lips and face, PIN-UP CALENDAR PG. 36 hair growth, hand tremors, gum swelling, higher blood pressure, increase in cho- lesterol level, altered kidney function, swollen gums, acne, weight gain, blood in the MOTIVATIONAL MAYHEM 2 PG. 54 urine, fl uid retention, drowsiness, irritability, behavior changes, oily anal discharges, premature ejaculation, complete penile dysfunction, lupus, sleep apnea, lyme TALES FROM THE DJ BOOTH PG. 58 disease and certain strains of knee-jerk, violent, right-wing republican behavior. EXOTIC’S URBAN DICTIONARY PG. 63 exotic magazine | xmag.com 1 3 The Five Worst Moments in album from which the single comes (Cover Ace of Bass or Color Me Badd would be bet- but I would be willing to buy stock in what- if the good lord is reading this, a prescrip- Up, an all-cover-song collection containing ter candidates for a “hey, remember them” ever company/product/philosophy is respon- tion drug overdose or Elliot Smith-style “sui- Music 2008 priceless covers of “Lay Lady Lay”, “Super- tour. Thankfully, there appears to be no fore- sible for the transformation. Horribly catchy cide” (props to the real killer) should be in naut” and “Radar Love”), but the intentions seeable future for either of these reunited single with repetitive chorus? Check. Near the works within the next few months. of the band as well; frontman Al Jourgenson shitfests (the Spice Girls disbanded immedi- nudity traded off with hot outfit in video? 1. AC/DC recognizes the phrase “tar- reportedly claims that “the song is a horribly ately after their reunion show, and the New Check. Zero mention of recent public melt- get audience”, releasing their sixteenth stu- misogynistic piece of work which deserved Kids on the Block are using an embarrassing- down and/or loser boyfriend? Check. Dear dio album Black Ice exclusively at Wal-Mart to be parodied.” Having historically ignored ly unmarketable name instead of the once- Britney, welcome back. I know that many of stores. Let’s back up here for a second to see the mentionable portion of the band’s cat- tried NKOTB alias), so be grateful. you out there are thinking things like “but why this of all things earns the number one alogue, while disproportionately rewarding 1. Atmosphere - When God Gives You a Ray, what about her complete lack of tal- spot on Ray’s 2008 best-of list. Wal-Mart was newer garbage, the committee in charge of Fanbase, Slap That Shit in the Face. I hate ent and formulaic marketability?” My point the same company to pull Nirvana’s In Ute- assigning Grammy nominations does score to be one of those pushing-thirty music snobs exactly. ro due to vaguely stated rea- one point for nominating Ministry for any- who was “into the band before they were big” 3. B.O.N.E sons regarding cover art and thing at all instead of giving into whatever but Atmosphere is the exception. As a fan of Thugs n’ Harmo- the single “Rape Me.” Wal- heap of shit Nickelback or Slipknot released the style of hip-hop that mirrors punk rock in ny re-unites. If you Mart was the first company this week. However, the point is quickly lost the DIY respect-and-think-for-yourself fash- only disappointment aside from the ten year don’t like the lyri- to require lyrical edits of con- 5. Metallica releases un-listenable gar- (alongside irony and artistic intent) when ion, I was initially turned onto Atmosphere waiting period was the lack of original mem- cal styles of Layzie, tent, resulting in thousands of bage and fucks fans up the ass, again. For considering the song that was nominated. during an era of Air Force Ones and Syrup bers (mainly Slash) on Democracy. Taking Wish, Bizzy, Flesh’n pissed off unsuspecting White those of you not familiar with the technicali- 3. Rick Astley lip syncs his own Rick Sippin’. Instead of whining and bragging, vo- this into account, Democracy is quite possi- and Krayzie you are Zombie, Marilyn Manson, and ties of music production, there is a phenom- Roll. “Rick Rolling”, the phenomenon of calist Slug caught the ears of his earlier fans bly one of the best rock albums to come out probably a Nazi Nine Inch Nails fans learn- enon called “overcompression” in which an tricking people into listening and/or viewing by rapping about self-awareness, alcohol ad- since the Illusion discs, Guns n’ Roses or oth- with no taste what- ing the harsh realities of mer- artist decides to succumb to the demands of the song and/or video “Never Gonna Give diction, and interpersonal relationships in a erwise. Mastered at a listenable level and not soever. Even if you chandise returns. Wal-Mart is FM radio stations and record labels, mixing You Up”, has earned it’s place in pop culture fashion that was honest, humorous, and just overcompressed to the point where fans have absolutely hate rap the only company in the cor- all of their instruments into a loud, muddy history. Had this article been written two serious enough. In his most recent release, to remaster it themselves, Democracy was not music, you can tol- porate universe to make zero mess. Not only did Metallica overcompress years ago, Rick Rolling would tie for best and Slug aka “the guy from Atmosphere” makes only worth the wait, but surprisingly timely. erate B.O.N.E. qualms about it’s ability to de- their long-awaited album Death Magnet- worst moment of the year.