JUNE 2020 I am responsible when anyone, Volume 44, #6 anywhere, reach- es out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there, and for that I am respon- sible. life·line | \ ˈlīf-ˌlīn : 1. A rope or line used for life-saving, typically one thrown to rescue someone in difficulties in water. 2. A thing on which someone depends for a means of escape from a difficult situation. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com The three legacies of AA - recovery, were uncommitted, the whole field of which have brought us release from unity and service - in a sense repre- human ideas. morality and religion, one of the grimmest obsessions sent three impossibilities, impossibili- from which we could choose. known -- obviously, this spirit and ties that we know became possible, These have been the wellsprings of these principles of retaining grace and possibilities that have now borne the forces and ideas and emotions had to be the fundamentals of our this unbelievable fruit. Old Fitzmayo, and spirit which were first fused into unity. But in order to become funda- one of the early AA's and I visited the our Twelve Steps for recovery. Some mental to our unity, these principles Surgeon General of the United States of us act well, but no sooner had a had to be spelled out as they applied in the third year of this society and few got sober than the old forces be- to the most prominent and the most told him of our beginnings. He was a gan to come into play in us rather frail grievous of our problems. gentle man, Dr. Lawrence Kolb, and people. They were fearsome, the old So, out of experience came the need has since become a great friend of forces, the drive for money, acclaim, to apply the spirit of our steps to our AA. He said, "I wish you well. Even prestige. lives of working and living together. the sobriety of a few is almost a mira- Would these forces tear us apart? These were the forces that generated cle. The government knows that this Besides, we came from every walk of the Traditions of Alcoholics Anony- is one of the greatest health problems life. Early, we had begun to be a mous. but we have considered the recovery cross-section of all men and women, But, we had to have more than cohe- of alcoholics so impossible that we all differently conditioned, all so differ- sion. Even for survival, we had to car- have given up and have instead con- ent and yet happily so alike in our kin- ry the message and we had to func- cluded that rehabilitation of narcotic ship of suffering. Could we hold in tion. In fact, that had become evident addicts would be the easier job to unity? To those few who remain who in the Twelve Steps themselves for tackle." lived in those earlier times when the the last one enjoins us to carry the Such was the devastating impossibil- Traditions were being forged in the message. But just how would we car- ity of our situation. Now, what has school of hard experience on its thou- ry this message? How would we com- been brought to bear upon this im- sands of anvils, we had our very, very municate, we few, with those myriad's possibility that it has become possi- dark moments. who still don't know? And how would ble? First, the grace of Him who pre- It was sure recovery was in sight, but this communication be handled? How sides over all of us. Next, the cruel how could there be recovery for could we do these things. How could lash of John Barleycorn who said. many? Or how could recovery endure we authorize these things in such a "this you must do, or die." Next, the if we were to fall into controversy and way that in this new, hot focus of ef- intervention of God through friends, at so into dissolution and decay? fort and ego that we would not again first a few and now legion! who Well, the spirit of the Twelve Steps be shattered by the forces that had opened to us, who in the early days once ruined our lives? (continued on page 4) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org I was at a meeting the other night and What Step Six Really Means the speaker was sharing on the 6th “Working the steps means just that step: “Were entirely ready to have God working.” remove all these defects of character.” I was chosen to share. Already in a bad mood, thanks to the remnants of a heartbreak and the permanent effects of my colorist [messing] up my hair, I just let loose, warning those in the meeting that what I would say might come off as blasphemous and offensive. I understand that AA evolved from the Christian-based Oxford group but this idea that God is like some [freaking] wizard that plucks out your bad character defects is absurd. If you’ve had this paranormal experi- ence, well God bless you. Unfortunately most of what I’ve heard in the rooms, and this meeting was no ex- ception, was people’s endless prayers for patience and willingness but especially their frustration that cer- tain character defects would be removed for one day only to curiously emerge the next like a slew of stub- born blackheads. My sponsor, Jay W., is a very God-oriented and spiritual man. And if you’re ever lucky enough to be one of his sponsees, you better like writing because he requires a lot of it. For my 6th step, after I made a list of my character defects, defined them, made a list of their antonyms and defined them, there was still more. I was asked to give two examples of each character defect in action within the last six months and if I could not, then it was not considered an active or pressing defect and was taken off the list. I was also asked to list how each defect negatively affects intimate relationships and blocks recovery. When you see the high price you are paying for these defects, it is much easier to decide to let them go. Sure it’s nice to feel supe- rior or briefly relieved after you vent your rage, but once you get the bill, no thank you. And if there were character defects you were still not willing to let go of, the question was why and what you were gaining by holding onto them. Once this was all done, I made flashcards so that each day I could look for that defect and try to replace it with its opposite. It’s concrete. Not some loosey goosey, “God please remove my char- acter defects today…all 1,654 of them. Gracias.” I remember early on when I asked Jay if God was going to remove my character defects, he said “Well, I don’t have an intervening God, honey, do you?” And I answered “No.” And he replied “Then, sweetheart, you will have to do the work.” For me the idea that you can sit passively by while some Higher Power does all the heavy lifting for you is the essence of this disease. In general, we alcoholics are lazy and we want people to fix it FOR us. I avoided AA for so long because I knew it would take work, tirelessly, daily. Before AA, I tried all these other “treatments” that allowed me to sit on my a** while somebody else fixed my problem: exorcisms, biofeed- back, acupuncture, therapy, shamans. I even went to a clinic in Tijuana where I got to kick back and play with my iPhone while they pumped amino acids into my veins in the hopes of rebalancing my brain chemis- try thus curing my disease. Guess what? It didn’t work. None of it. What has worked is working. Working the steps. Working at contrary action. Working to build a life that is worth staying sober for. Working to be self-supporting. One of my first sponsors once told me “You don’t have to be a good person. You just have to act like one. Nobody knows the difference.” And he’s right. We are judged on our actions, not our intentions. And the more you act a certain way, the more you become that way. Let me quote some great thinkers and writ- ers to back me up here: Plato said, “Character is simply habit long continued.” Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.” And, incredibly, this is now backed up by science. It turns out that you can change your neural pathways through repeated action. You don’t have to wait to feel a certain way. You can take the action and it will change the way you feel and eventually think. https://www.thefix.com/what-step-six-really-means SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 2 The following is an excerpt from the pamphlet “Going Through The Steps – A.A. Sponsorship Pam- phlet” by Clarence Snyder 1944: In Step 4, we’re asked to take a searching and fearless moral inventory. We must find out what we’ve got, what we need to get rid of, and what we need to acquire. There are 20 character defects to ask about — the individual wrongs are not necessary to go over, just the defects that caused them. Going over the questions, you ask that the person be honest and admit his defects to him- self, to you, and to God (where two or more are gathered in His name, there shall He be.) By admit- ting, the person also takes Step 5.