A Nuts and Bolts Guide from the Public Conversations Project Fostering Dialogue Across Divides Maggie Herzig Sponsored by Laura Chasin Fostering Dialogue Across Divides A Nuts and Bolts Guide from the Public Conversations Project Maggie Herzig Laura Chasin This guide was made possible through the generous support of the JAMS Foundation. Fostering Dialogue Across Divides A Nuts and Bolts Guide from the Public Conversations Project Maggie Herzig and Laura Chasin Published by: Public Conversations Project 46 Kondazian Street Watertown, MA 02472 Web: www.publicconversations.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (617) 923-1216 Fax: (617) 923-2757 © 2006 Public Conversations Project All rights reserved. Published 2006 DEDICATION In this world of polarizing conflicts, we have glimpsed a new possibility: a way in which people can disagree frankly and passionately, become“ clearer in heart and mind about their activism, and, at the same time, contribute to a more civil and compassionate society.” “Talking with the Enemy” The Boston Globe, January 28, 2001 Co-authored by Boston-area prochoice and prolife leaders: Anne Fowler, Nicki Nichols Gamble, Frances X. Hogan, Melissa Kogut, Madeline McComish, and Barbara Thorp. We dedicate this guide to all who work to make this possibility a reality. ABOUT THE PUBLIC CONVERSATIONS PROJECT The Public Conversations Project (PCP) in Watertown, Massachusetts, is a multi-faceted nonprofit organization that provides a distinctive blend of services. PCP’s offerings include dialogue facilitation; customized and open enrollment trainings; consultation to facilitators, organizations, and networks in conflict; and print resources such as this dialogue guide. Although PCP specializes in fostering dialogues about polarizing public issues, its methods have been effective in situations characterized by chilly disconnection and suspicious silence as well as in heated and noisy conflicts. Since its founding in 1989, PCP has worked on a range of divisive issues including abortion, forest management, religious differences, same sex marriage, the use of animals in research, the so-called US red/blue divide, and the conflict in the Middle East. Participants in PCP’s collaboratively designed and facilitated conversations develop more respectful and effective ways of relating, greater mutual understanding, and deepened trust. As stereotypes soften and trust grows, the discovery of shared concerns and previously unseen opportunities often leads to cooperative actions. Some PCP dialogues are open to the public; others are highly confidential. Past projects have engaged leaders and average citizens on the local, national, and international levels; religious organizations; schools; social service agencies; and various arms of local, state, and national governments. Over the years, PCP has reached thousands of people from more than 15 countries on six continents and from 38 US states. PCP has been recognized for its innovative work by several organizations including the American Family Therapy Academy, the International Association for Public Participation, and the Association for Conflict Resolution, which presented PCP with the Mary Parker Follett Award for Excellence and Innovation in Dispute Resolution. PCP has been featured in such media outlets as The Boston Globe; The Washington Post; USA Today; The Christian Science Monitor; People Magazine; Psychology Today; National Public Radio; O, The Oprah Magazine; and Voice of America. For articles, practical resources, and more information about the Public Conversations Project, visit www.publicconversations.org. ABOUT THE JAMS FOUNDATION This guide was made possible thanks to a generous grant from the JAMS Foundation, a non-profit corporation established by JAMS, the nation’s premier provider of private ADR services, to share its experience and expertise for the benefit of the public interest. Funded entirely by contributions from JAMS Panelists and employee Associates, the JAMS Foundation provides financial assistance for conflict resolution initiatives with national impact. The Foundation encourages the use of alternative dispute resolution, supports education at all levels about collaborative processes for resolving differences, promotes innovation in conflict resolution, and advances the settlement of conflict worldwide. For more information, visit www.jamsfoundation.org. CONTENTS Preface i Acknowledgements iii Introduction 1 1.1 The Role of Dialogue in Public Life 1 1.2 What We Mean by “Dialogue” 3 1. 1.3 What Attracts People to PCP’s Dialogues 4 PCP’S GENERAL approach AND core practices 5 2.1 A Systemic Approach to Intervention 5 2.2 PCP’s Core Practices 6 2.3 Typical Phases in PCP’s Work 8 2. 2.4 Communication Agreements 9 2.5 Structures for Speaking, Listening, and Reflecting 13 2.6 Well-Crafted Questions 15 PRE-Meeting EXplorations AND Decisions 17 3.1 Premeeting Work: Purposes and Components 17 3.2 Initial Exploration 19 3.3 Mapping 20 3. 3.4 Deciding Who Will Play Key Roles 24 3.5 Deciding What to Offer 32 3.6 Group Size and Composition 34 3.7 Time, Space, and Hospitality 36 3.8 Issuing Invitations and Connecting with Participants 38 THE Art OF SESSION DESIGN 43 4.1 Elements of Design: Sequence, Questions, and Structures 43 4.2 Designing a Single-Session Dialogue 53 4.3 Designing a Multisession Series 56 4. 4.4 Designing a Session with a Common Stimulus 62 4.5 Designing for Large Groups 64 Getting READY FOR THE SESSION 69 5.1 Emotional Readiness and Team Building 69 5.2 Decisions You Will Need to Make: A Check List 72 5. 5.3 Supplies and Materials: A Check List 75 Facilitating THE Dialogue 77 6.1 What PCP-Style Facilitators Do and Don’t Do 77 6.2 Interventions: The Basics 80 6.3 Responding to Particular Concerns and Challenges 83 6. 6.4 Time Management 90 6.5 Special Considerations for Multisession Groups 92 APPENDICES APPENDIX A: SAMPLE Formats 95 A A-1: Single-Session Format 96 A-2: An Opening Session in a Series 106 A-3: A Format for Subsequent Sessions in a Series 116 A-4: PCP’s Exercise on Stereotyping 119 APPENDIX B: SAMPLE Questions 123 B B-1: Sample Questions by Type 124 A. Questions to Get Started 124 B. “Classic” Opening Questions 124 C. Other Commonly Used Types of Questions 125 D. Closing Questions 126 B-2: Topic-Specific Sample Questions 127 A. Questions for a September 11 Anniversary Conversation 127 B. Questions for a Dialogue about the War in Iraq 128 C. Talking about the Red-Blue Divide in the US, Post-Election 2004 129 D. A Format for Interfaith Dialogue in Large Groups 130 E. Questions for a Dialogue about Abortion 131 F. Talking about the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict 132 G. Talking about Homosexuality in a Church Community 134 H. Questions for a Dialogue about Same-Sex Marriage 135 APPENDIX C: Handouts, SAMPLE Invitations, AND other Resources 137 C C-1: What We Mean by “Dialogue” 138 C-2: Distinguishing Debate from Dialogue 139 C-3: Aims for Dialogue and Sample Tools to Achieve Them 141 C-4: Talking with Potential Participants 143 C-5: A Sample Invitation to a Four Session Series 144 C-6: A Sample Flyer 146 C-7: A Sample Agenda 147 C-8: A Sample Set of Proposed Agreements 149 C-9: Four Pathways to a Connected Conversation 150 C-10: A Tale of Two Grandmothers 151 C-11: Facilitation Challenges: Prevention and Response 152 C-12: Self-Help Tools for Participants 153 C-13: Facilitator Feedback Form 154 C-14: Participant Feedback Form 156 C-15: A Mini-Dialogue about Conflict in Our Community 157 C-16: Organizations Engaged in Related Work 159 C-17: Anatomy of Two Conversations 161 C-18: Some Family Therapy Roots of PCP’s Dialogue Work 162 D APPENDIX D: Questions ADDRESSED IN CHAPTERS 3—6 165 PREFACE How can political or ideological adversaries engage in constructive conversations despite conflicting values and worldviews? This guide shares some of what we and our colleagues at the Public Conversations Project have learned grappling with this question during the past fifteen years. The text offers general advice as well as very specific nuts and bolts tips for those who wish to convene, plan, and facilitate constructive conversations on deeply divisive issues. What we offer in these pages is based on our experiences working in many different settings and on a wide range of topics, including abortion, foresting practices, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, sexual orientation and the teachings of Christian scripture, the war in Iraq, interfaith and interethnic relations, and social class differences. We have attempted to make this guide user-friendly in several ways. First, we have written four of the six chapters in a Q&A format. All of the 126 questions that are addressed are listed in Appendix D. Second, we share what we have learned on three levels. In Chapters 1 and 2 we provide an overview of PCP’s ways of thinking about dialogue and our core principles and practices. In Chapters 3 through 6, we offer specific advice on each phase in the dialogue process. And in Appendices A through C, we present detailed sample formats, questions, invitations, and handouts that exemplify the principles and practices described in the body of the document. Third, we offer suggestions about working in a wide range of settings, with single and multisession conversations, large and small groups, and groups that have different amounts of time in which to work. Although this guide is intended as a resource for anyone who is thinking about convening or planning a dialogue, we have written it as if the reader is a potential facilitator. And although it is intended for both experienced practitioners and beginners, we have written it as though the reader is not very experienced. Some of the nuts and bolts tips that we offer are likely to be second nature to seasoned facilitators. Our quest for both accessibility and wide applicability has made this guide quite lengthy.