l5 . i;orctrryA.lirsor, HappyEndings.17 "Ilc'll be fine." she'd replied, not Lrndcrstanding,speaking inste lovin$ you and hating you for your lifb, for not asking about what the other lbar. "Don't wc have a traditiorl of bastardsl" you have no reason to imagine, soft-chinned innocence I love. L{c was finc, :r classicallyugly healthy litde boy with that shock white hair that marked so manv of us. But afterward. it was that bad with my Jesseputs heg hands be y neck, smiles and says, "You tell the funni- sistcr down with pleurisl, then cystitis,and no work, no having t<l est stories." mrlvc back horne with mv cold-eyeclstepfbthcr. I would c home to see l-rcr.tionr itlrc wornan I could not admit I'd been with. take my infi- pulsing. "Yeah,"-{.rdllhei'.tBut I lie." (re88) my slster, no one ,/ bcreamingred-faced, "Shut upl Shut,upl" With each word her tist med the mattress fan- ning thc brby's eirr. MARGARETATWOOD "Don t!" I grelbed her, pulling her back, ng it as gendy as I could so I woultln't brcirk the stitchcs fiorn her qd ion. She had her ottrer MargaretAtwood, born in 1939and raisedin Ontario and Quebec,has pub- .rrnr clanrpcd acr,rsrher abdomen rnd c 't fight mc at all. She just lishedmore than thirty acclaimednovels and collectionsof poems,essays, and kept shricling. stories.Anrmportant critic, she hashelped dellne contemporaryCanadian lit- " fhrt little bastard.just screams screams.That little bastard. in North I'll kilf hirr." . t erature and has a distinguishedreputation among feministwriters Then rhc words seeped in and she lookcd at me while hcr son kept America and abroad.Her novelsinclude Surfoclng (1972);The Hondmoid'sTole cry,in* ano kicking his feet. llla his head the mattressstill showed the im- ( 1986),which receivedCanada's Governor General'sAward; Cots Eye (1989): [)act()l hcr tist. The RobberBride (1993); A|iosGroce (1995), which won the Giller Prize in "()h r-ro,"she moaned, "l wabn't going to be like that. I alwaysprom- Canada;the Booker Prize-winningThe BlindAssossjn (2000); and Oryx ond iscd rnysel;." She startcd to cry, htilding her belly and sobbing. "We an't Croke(2003). Atwood s story collectionsinclude DoncingCirls and Other Stories no dilicrcrrt.We rn't no rlitfcrcnt." (1982),B/uebeord's Egg ond OtherStodes (1983), WildernessTips ond Other Stories(199 1), and GoodBones ond SimpleMurders (1994).Atwood has said ]esservrap; hcr arnr around my stomachi.pressesher belly into my back. I about her experimentalstory "Happy Endings,""l did not know what sort of rehx egair st hcr. "You sure you can't have childrcn?" she asks. sure 'I creature it was. lt was not a poem, a short story, or a prose poem. lt was not would like to seewhat your kids 'uvouldturn out to be like." quite a condensation,a commentary,a questionnaire,and it missedbeing a I stifltn, say,"I can't have children. I've hever wanted children." parable,a proverb,a paradox.lt was a mutation.Writing rt gave me a senseof "Still," she says,"y<lu're so good with children. so gende." furtiveglee, like I thinr of all the timcs mv hands have curled into fists, when I have scribblinganonymously on a wall with no one looking....ltwas just barcly held on. I opcn mv mouth, closeit, can't spcak.What could I a little disappointingto learn that other people had a name for such aberra- sav llow) /Jl thc times I have n<>tspoken bcfore, all the things I just could tions fmeta{iction],and had alreadymade up the rulesl not tcll hci, the shamc, the sclf:hatred, the fbar; all <lf that hangs between us uow-.r wall I cannot tcar down. I wouid likc to turn around and talk to her, tell her . "I've got a HappyEndings dust rivc; n my hcad, a river of names endlesslyrepeating. That dirty wa- tcr risey'in nre, all th<-rscchildren screaming out their lives in my memory, ancl I bec<,mesolllc()ne else,sclmeone I have tried so hard not to be." |ohn and Mary meet. l},rt I don't say anlthing, and I know, as surely as I know I will never What happens next? havc a cl-rilJ,that by not spcakingI am condemning us, tiat I cannot go on If you want a happy ending, try A. l8 . l"largarerAtwood HappyEndings.l9 A Mary; it's tlre restaurant. fohn has never taken Mary to a restaurant. Mary ]ohn and Mary fall in love and get married. They both have worthwhile collects all the sleeping pills and aspirins she can find, and takes them and anci remunerativc jobs which they find stimulating and challenging.They a half a botde of sherry. You can see what kind of a woman she is by the buy a charming house. Real estate values go up. Eventually, when they fact that it's not even whiskey. She leavesa note for lohn. She hopes he'll can aflbrd live-in help, they havetwo children, to whom they are devoted. discover her and get her to the hospital in time and repent and then they can get 'fhe children turn out well. John and Mary have a stimulating and chal- married, but this fails to happen and she dies. lcnging sex lifb and worthwhile friends. They go on fun vacations to- lohn marries Madge and everything conrinues as in A. gethcr. 'fhey retire. They both have hobbies which they find stimulating c and challenging. Evcntually thcy die. This is the end of the story. John, who is an older man, falls in love with Mary, and Mary, who is only twenty-two, feels sorry for him becausehe's worried about his hair falling B out. She sleepswith him even though she's nor in love with him. She met .Vlan' falls in love with )ohn but fohn doesn't fall in love with Mary. He him at work. She's in love with someone called |ames, who is rwenty-two r.ncrcly usesher body fbr selfish pleasureand cgo gratification of a tepid also and not yet ready to setde down. kind He comes to her apartment twice a week and she cooks him dinner, John on the contrary settled down long ago: this is what is bothering you'il noticc that hc docsn't even consider her worth the price of a dinner him. John has a steady, respectable job and is getting ahead in his field, out, and aftcr hc's eaten the dinner he fucks her and after that he falls but Mary isn't impressed by him, she's impressed by fames, who has a aslcep,whilc she does the dishesso he won't think she'suntidy, having all motorcycle and a fabulous record collection. But lames is often away on thost: dirry dishes lying around, and puts on fresh lipstick so she'll look his motorcycle, being free. Freedom isn't the same for girls, so in the goocl r.l'henhe wakes up, but when he wakes up he doesn't even notice, meantime Mary spends Thursday evenings with Iohn. Thursdays are the he p-rts <xr his socks and his shorts and his pants and his shirt and his tie only days lohn can get away. and lris sh<les.the reverseorder from the one in which he took them off. Iohn is married to a woman called Madge and they have two chil- FIc coesn't take off Mary's clothes, she takes them off herself,she acts as dren, a charming house which they bought just before the real estare val- if'sh,:'s dying fbr it cvery time, not because she likes sex exacdy, she ues went up, and hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging, doesil't, but she wants fohn to think she does becauseif they do it often when they have the time . John tells Mary how important she is to him, enor,gh surcly he'll get uscd to her, he'll comc to depcnd on her and they but of course, he can't leave his wife becausea commitment is a commit- vvill Iet marricd, ['rut ]ohn gocs out the door with hardly so much as a ment. FIe goes on about this more than is necessary and Mary finds it goocl-night and thrce days later he turns up at six o'clock and they do the boring, but older men can keep it up longer so on the whole she has a r,r.hoiething over again. fairly good time. .Vlarygcts run-down. Crying is bad for your f-ace,everyone knows that One day lames breezes in on his motorcycle with some top-grade and ;o does Mary but she can't stop. People at work notice. Her friends California hybrid and fames and Mary get higher than you'd believe pos- tell lLcr iohn is a rat, a pig, a dog, he isn't good enough for her, but she sible and they climb into bed. Everything becomes very underwater, but can'r bclievc it. lnside fohn, she thinks, is another fohn, who is much along comes |ohn, who has a key to Mary's apartment. He finds them 'l'his nicer. other John will cmerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, a )ack stoned and entwined. He 's hardly in any position to be jealous, consider- fion a box, a pit from a prune, if thc first fohn is only squeezed enough. ing Madge, but nevertheless he's overcome with despair.