FilmBB Five years into darkness PICTURE ME: A Model’s Diary Picture Me details her (M) exhilarating rise from an This Directed by Ole Schell and 18-year-old jetting off to her first Sara Ziff shoot in Paris to receiving five- intimate ✪✪✪✪ figure cheques for a single-job. Reviewed by James Croot However, along the way, portrait this intimate portrait (Ziff even Unlike all those starry-eyed converses with the camera exposes reality-show wannabes, Sara while in the bath) exposes the the Ziff never dreamed of being a darker side of casting and top model. photo shoots and how this darker Scouted by a female industry of illusion compels its photographer while she was stars to battle exhaustion in side. walking home from school at order to pay off their debts to age 14, the New York native their agencies. It turns out all was being offered a magazine those apartments, plane tickets, shoot in Jamaica and a show food and accommodation for Calvin Klein within a week. aren’t free. Juggling school and modelling, Clever, scrapbook-style she was out-earning her credits and the near-exclusive Sara Ziff never dreamed of being a top model. university neurobiologist father use of hand-held cameras lend by the time she was 20. But as the film a homely, endearing, detailing the camaraderie McCartney, but it is her insight she details in this compelling dog-eared quality that actually between models. It isn’t long and willingness to question her and engaging documentary, gives its revelations more before the facade cracks and occupation that really enchants made with her film-school impact. we discover how indebted and and compels. graduate boyfriend, Ole Schell, After all, it starts out demeaned these beauties are. Compulsory viewing for all this fantastical life of glamour reflecting the lighter-side of the Ziff makes for an engaging those who believe America’s and luxury comes at a price. industry – going behind-the- tour guide. She may have been Next Top Model to be a true Filmed over five years, scenes of fashion shoots and the face of Klein, Hilfiger and reflection of the industry. Vampire spoof is strangely toothless VAMPIRES SUCK (M) emotions, think again. The have read all Stephenie Directed by Jason Friedberg deception here is that imitation Meyer’s books and reviewed and Aaron Seltzer may be the sincerest form of all the Twilight films thus far, ✪✪ flattery. The film-makers seem but I took my 15-year-old niece, Reviewed by Margaret Agnew too scared to properly mock Petra, along to a screening of Twilight in case they upset the Vampires Suck as a member of If ever there’s a movie fans. There’s less spoofery and the target demographic. She description to strike dread into more a slavish replication of laughed–alot. a film reviewer’s heart it’s this the first three Twilight films, Here’s Petra’s four-star take: phrase: ‘‘From the guys who right down to costumes, ‘‘The whole time I was there, brought you Disaster Movie, coloured contact lenses and I was almost in tears with Epic Movie and Date Movie.’’ forest settings. laughter. I do not recommend As subtle as its title, Vampires Suck could act as this to ‘twi-hards’ who would Vampires Suck is a spoof of the Becca Crane The definition of ‘‘spoofing’’ a refresher for those who probably see this as outrageously popular Twilight (Jenn Proske) is to mock lightly and good- missed the first three films. blasphemy against their saga, which is currently sitting with the other humouredly. Alternatively, to What this spoof does show up is darling Edward and Jacob, at three films in as many years, boy, Jacob spoof is: to fool by a hoax; play how little plot there is in the whereas I found it hilarious. I with two more scheduled for White (Chris a trick on, especially one original. The movie rapidly do enjoy the books, but as soon release. So instead of Bella Riggi). intended to deceive. The latter runs out of things to mock. as I saw the trailer with Jasper Swan we have Becca Crane may be more true here. If you A couple of D-list faces turn getting a knife and fork out (newcomer Jenn Proske), doing thought you were going to up, namely Diedrich Bader as when Becca cuts her finger, I a spot-on imitation of Kristen have a rollicking, hilarious time Becca’s oblivious cop dad, knew I had to see it. Stewart’s twitchy Bella) laughing at the silliness of the doctor/comedian Ken Jeong ‘‘My favourite part was enamoured with vampire boy Twilight phenom, with all its from The Hangover and, er, when Jacob took his top off and Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter, virginity-preserving, psycho- Dom Deluise’s son, David . instead of the six-pack 90210) and with a furry friend in sexual tension, borderline The upside of this feeble flick everyone was waiting to drool puppy love with her, Jacob abusive relationships and is that it lasts only 82 minutes. over, he uncovered a hairy White (Chris Riggi). over-wrought teenage Being a thorough reviewer, I chest with eight nipples.’’ ■ SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2010 YW 19.