CALIFORNIA REvrnw UNIVERSfiY OF CALIFORNIA, SAN DIEGO California Review­ CALIFORNIA ltEvrnw Volume XI, No.2, December 1991 "Imperium et Libertas" BENEVOLENT DESPOT Sherry Lowrance The Style Review Page 5 Do you want to really make a fashion MAN OF VISION Matthew Robinson statement? Put away those t-shirts, overalls and peasant dresses and break out your CONTRIBUTORS AND GENERAL TROUBLEMAKERS skinny ties, vests and leather jackets. Phillip Brusseau, Michael Fogarty, by Mr. Style Review Maximillian Kilgore, Sherry Lowrance, D. Christopher Menthe, Christopher R. Oleson, Matthew S. Robinson, Joe + Wierzbicki, Mr. Style Review In Defense of TGs Page6 IUUSIONIST Every university needs a tradition. UCSD Maximillian Kilgore has the TGs. For the TGs to survive, the ARTIST administration needs to be convinced that CarrieFu the events are for the good of the university community, and not just an IVORY TOWER CoRRESPONDENTS excuse to drink beer. by Phillip Brusseau Dr. Gary Jason Dr. Alfred G. Cuzan Dr. Frederick Lynch + Dr. Patrick Groff The Hygienicist Manifesto Page 7 CORRESPONDENTS Hygiene has long peen neglected by political theorists. Horatio Galba, Europe by Michael Fogarty and Matthew Robinson Peppin Runcible IV, Washington D.C. At last, its impact is recognized. foUNDERS AND MEMBERS OF THE PANTHEON + H W. Crocker ill '83, Brigadier Editor Emeritus P.C. Memories PageS E. Clasen Young '84, An analysis of the Student President Emeritus C. Brandon Crocker '85, Affirmative Action Committee's Imperator Emeritus Conference on Political Correctness. by Matthew Robinson lEGAL CouNSEL The Praetorian Guard and Charles Purdy IV + (Praetorian Praefectus) The Ethics of Choice Page 9 Reflections on the abortion TI1e opinions and views contained in the Cal ifom ia &'View are solely those of the writers and do not debate. by Christopher R.Oieson necessarily represent the collective opinions of the California Review staff, the ASUCSD, or the Regents of the University of California. ©1991 + California Review. All rights reserved. The California Review (Restitutor Orbis) was Green Hell Page 11 founded on the sunny afternoon of the Seventh A look into the strange world of environmental politics day of January, Nineteen Hundr~ and Eighty­ Two, by discipuli cum civitas listening to Respighi by Joe Wierzbicki and engaging in discourse on preserving the American Way. Please address all letters, manuscripts, and blank + checks to: An Anarchist's Last Word Page 13 California Review Temple of Mars the Avenger Marxism and anarchism in one big cauldron by Michael Fogorty P.O. Box 12286 La Jolla, CA 92039 2 CALIFORNIA REVIEW I DEC EMBER 1991 111111 • IsN'T AMERICA GREAT? MoRE CARS ARE on this test were not the average SAT • IN 194 5, UNIVERSITY PROFESSORS SPENT AN stolen in the U.S. each year than are type. They included such questions as: average of 15 hours,a,week teaching. Now manufactured in the Soviet Union. What color is ecru? How many calories in they teach only 5 hours,a,week. a banana? And who is the designer for the • IT ISN'T EASY BEING GREEN! BEN AND Jerry's Chanellabel? • jUSTICE IS TRULY SERVED! DANNY SHAUNE ice cream company, which enjoys (and Clemons, 32, was robbed of his $75 train profits from) the fare home. What makes reputation as a pro- . this rise in crime rather environmentalist - ' · - significant is that it - .-· company-sporting .... .,..-· ~~~ . ·. occurred less than an such ice cream flavors hour after his release as ''Rainforest from jail, where he had Cnmch" and "Peace been serving five years ' Pops"- isn't so ' for burglary and assault. popular with some envrronmentalis~.hl • DURING HIS WILD fact, for the past two school days, American years, Ben and Jerry's writer James Fenimore plant in Waterbury, Cooper was put on Vermont has probation at Yale for exceeded i~ permit for using gunpowder to dumping waste into blow open a dormitory the local treatment door. If that wasn't plant and has been enough, he was fined by the local expelled for roping a environmental donkey into a agency . professor's chair. • IN SA TEUITE • MEN, TAKE NOTE: Beach, Florida, the Austria, Poland, and vigilant health department recently closed • NEW IDRM OF BIRlli CDN1ROL? IN 1bailand's eastern Germany have the most down the sidewalk lemonade stand of an Bangkok, any couple caught kissing in a unattached women. 11 year,old boy for failing to provide rest movie theater can be fined $25. room facilities. Quoth the official, ''We're • NoT mNIGHT DEAR .... ! SYLVESTER GRAHAM, just trying to protect the health of the • ACCORDING TO STATISTICIANS, YOU ARE of graham cracker fame, preached far and public.'' seven times more likely to be struck by wide that people fnord could prevent lightning than to win a grand prize in the headaches by limiting therr sexual activity to • MORE FROM THE DUMB CROOK FILE: TWO lottery. no more than 12 occasions per year. devious crooks in Pennsylvania drove off with an automatic teller machine, then • WAYS TO HANDLE THE AMERICAN • A BILLION MINUTES AGO CHRIST WALKED attempted to open the machine with a Congress were very politely demonstrated in Galilee. A billion dollars ago was 10.3 torch. In the process, they unfortunately by one Adam Henson, his foot long pet hours ago in Washington, D.C. charred most of the $16,000 in cash it turtle, and his very heroic mother. The contained. episode in question took place when • THIS MULTICULTURAL THING HAS GONE Henson, age 8, was caught in a lip lock by too far! Binney & Smith, the Crayola • MADEMOISELLE MAGAZINE, IN AN A1TEMPT Lightning, his affectionate friend. After a people, are now packaging "multicultural to prove that models do have respectable world record,setting five minute smacker, crayons" that they call "Skin Tones of the IQ's, had top models take a test, along Adam's mother finally enticed the World." It seems that children of various with a rabbi, a doctor, and a lawyer as reptilian wonder to let go in a favor of a ethic groups have become frustrated at not l-Ontrol brains. The models blew the juicy carrot. having the right color to paint their controls out of the water, with such brains Of course, plan two might have parents and relatives. In the words of one as Cindy Crawford, Claudia Schiffer, and influenced our shelled Don Juan when she teacher," they (the children) were so tired Elle Macpherson striking down the said she was almost forced to decapitate of seeing Martin Luther King, Jr. done in airhead stereotype. But note the questions the little bugger. pure black with glowing red lips." CALIFORNIA REVIEW I DECEMBER 1991 3 ~tismtoday states that all men have "a .. :. ~eanin.gful origin/' which frankly sounds like the author is confusing tttmmt~:ZMtr~W= ~"M with existentialism (can the author ....., _.:.:.r. .. r ... .,..,. .,.. hf}l~~ribi ~i~JlQ.t!l~~/bt ~gui~h -:.. between any modern . and goes on to argue that an be.~socia l ist or a fascist. just wrong, as any student of ""'"'''-'r...""'......... " epq\4 tell you, and if such tripe is ,,· ·· conservative minds can .·.. then I . pity the state of · ·ip our country. I · states ·· that America was .. on tbe .theory of Locki~n (sic) :· dg.lHs ~ ' ·· ~. ncl quotes from the {p~~pen4encetosupportthe t·_,of all, I want to point out that if the Declaration had omitted mention of God and said instead, " ... that they [men] possess certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness... " it would have made no practical" difference. Secondly, I want to note that it is typical of conservative prattle to quote the Declaration, while conveniently ignoring the Constitution, on which the state was actually 1\_plong other un.. Lockean ·· Co~titutiondenied the right butwh.ite, male land~owners, . '""'-!!!~' ""~ s ~v~ry. As further note, the t amendment defines th alism is quite different from ·' t's r~~p~nsibqities as bein~ There is no single theoretical lar. ··.·:;· from which socialists may draw: for·'• t:i\lth is indeed' a noblt. no one "socialism." The variety of as the CCllifornia Review says,time ~ .... ~ ...""" and ideas, often competing ideas, there.is scant little 'of that in been historically thrown together are no · T o p~ranoically m.erge ~ll genus "socialism" is immense. opposing viewpoints into one beh~moth y common goal is to reform .. ~faih&"t~~~{r-ta ·r.u:>r.... without even trying to understand4:l\¢Pl, as r~~fi~v t i;f:~p ~~, \?i':} ~~f, "Locke's Victory" does, is no ~redit to democrauc,.:::.::,:·, soctal~ .,:': and · conservatism and certainly no credit to the should be en~~gh t~ ---~~~ · truth. If one truly wishes to find tiutQ. .. ,o ne must look for it. ='. ;;:;1t' religious beliefs are as varied . ·. · :·~:- Lance:M en the the UC ~erkeley Europe, seek ·.·: major industries ....... ~, ,~, ..,. .....r...hr ..... .,....., socialists of the voluntary experiments Lastly, the article and seek independence from "argument" on the assertion that atheism iS government altogether. necessarily incompatible with natural rights. 4 CALIFORNIA REVIEW I DECEMBER 1991 1he Style Review + It's not just what you think, but how yoti look ... By Mr. Style Review .steak dinner. This new feature strives to be an advisory T ... shirts as outer clothing: They go the way of column on the proper mcxles of dress - shorts. whether you control the means ofprcxluction The venerable vest: Like the bow .. tie, the vest or alienate your labor. I seek only to provide can be a statement of real style or a guidelines, and no, this column is not about fashion disaster. Vests should never be wide ties, bad politics, long hair). Fear intolerance towards "the alternatively taste worn with T .. shirts or shorts: these hid.