The Virtues of Intimate Relationships By Sungwoo Um Department of Philosophy Duke University Date:______________________ Approved: ___________________________ Owen Flanagan, Co-supervisor ___________________________ Gopal Sreenivasan, Co-supervisor ___________________________ David Wong ___________________________ Walter Sinnott-Armstrong Dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Department of Philosophy in the Graduate School of Duke University 2019 ABSTRACT The Virtues of Intimate Relationships by Sungwoo Um Department of Philosophy Duke University Date:______________________ Approved: ___________________________ Owen Flanagan, Co-supervisor ___________________________ Gopal Sreenivasan, Co-supervisor ___________________________ David Wong ___________________________ Walter Sinnott-Armstrong An abstract of a dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Department of Philosophy in the Graduate School of Duke University 2019 Copyright by Sungwoo Um 2019 Abstract My dissertation aims to shed light on the importance and distinctive nature of intimate relationships such as parent-child relationship and friendship by developing my own version of a virtue-ethical approach. In Chapter 1, I critically examine important contemporary Western theories of filial piety and argue that they do not adequately capture the nature of a desirable parent-child relationship and filial piety. In Chapter 2, I show why the duty-centered approach to filial piety is inadequate focusing on why it fails to make sense of filial love and argue that filial piety is better understood as a virtue by showing how it can do justice to the normative significance of filial love. In Chapter 3, I introduce what I call ‘gratitude for being’ to capture the distinctive type of gratitude we owe to people who have consistent and particularized care for us, especially our parents. I argue that the idea of gratitude for being can best make sense of deep gratitude typically found among intimates who care for each other. In Chapter 4, I introduce what I call ‘relational virtues,’ which are virtues required for the participants of a given type of personal relationship and argue that it offers a valuable resource for answering questions concerning the value of intimate personal relationships. Next, I propose my own relational virtue theory of filial piety. iv In Chapter 5, I discuss several aspects of the Confucian conception of filial piety—early filial piety, the close connection between self-cultivation and filial piety, and postmortem filial piety—and show how my relational virtue theory can defend and make sense of them. Lastly, I show how my view of filial piety is different from the Confucian view, or at least a version of it. In Chapter 6, I discuss the virtue of friendship as a relational virtue and show how it can make sense of the nature and value of friendship. In particular, I show why the virtue of friendship is distinct from general virtues such as benevolence or generosity and why it is morally important to have this virtue. Finally, in Chapter 7, I propose what I call ‘relational activity view’ on partiality. After critically examining existing views on partiality, I suggest a picture of how special values are transformed, delivered, and created within intimate relationships. v Dedicated to Sandri with love vi Table of Contents Abstract ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- iv Acknowledgements ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- x Introduction -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 Chapter 1. Theories of Filial Piety ---------------------------------------------------------------- 4 1.1. Introduction ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4 1.2. Theories of Filial Piety ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 10 1.2.1. The Debt Theory ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10 1.2.2. The Gratitude Theory ------------------------------------------------------------------ 13 1.2.3. The Friendship Theory ----------------------------------------------------------------- 18 1.2.4. The Special Goods Theory ------------------------------------------------------------ 22 1.3. Conclusion ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 28 Chapter 2. Duty, Virtue, and Filial Love ------------------------------------------------------ 29 2.1. Introduction ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 29 2.2. The Value of Filial Love --------------------------------------------------------------------- 30 2.3. Filial Love and Duty ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 42 2.4. Filial Love and the Virtue of Filial Piety ------------------------------------------------ 50 2.5. Conclusion ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 63 Chapter 3. Gratitude for Being------------------------------------------------------------------- 64 3.1. Introduction ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 64 3.2. Personal Gratitude and Impersonal Gratitude ---------------------------------------- 65 3.3. What is Gratitude for Being? -------------------------------------------------------------- 68 3.4. Possible Objections -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 80 3.4.1. Gratitude for Being vs. Impersonal Gratitude ------------------------------------ 80 3.4.2. Gratitude for Being vs. Gratitude for Doing -------------------------------------- 82 3.5. Conclusion ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 85 Chapter 4. Relational Virtue and Filial Piety ------------------------------------------------ 87 4.1. Introduction ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 87 vii 4.2. What is a Relational Virtue? --------------------------------------------------------------- 87 4.2.1. Is it a Virtue? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 89 4.2.2. Is it a Distinctive Kind of Virtue? ---------------------------------------------------- 92 4.2.3. Characteristic Features of Relational Virtue -------------------------------------- 95 4.2.4. Possible Objections Against the Idea of Relational Virtue -------------------- 100 4.3. Filial Piety as a Relational Virtue -------------------------------------------------------- 103 4.3.1. Parental Virtue and Filial Piety ----------------------------------------------------- 103 4.3.2. Avoiding Difficulties ------------------------------------------------------------------ 107 4.4. Conclusion ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 111 Chapter 5. Confucian Filial Piety and Relational Virtue -------------------------------- 113 5.1. Introduction ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 113 5.2. Confucian Filial Piety ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 113 5.2.1. Early Filial Piety ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 115 5.2.2. Self-Cultivation and Filial Piety ----------------------------------------------------- 119 5.2.3. Postmortem Filial Piety --------------------------------------------------------------- 124 5.3. Confucianism vs. The Relational Virtue Theory ------------------------------------- 129 5.4. Conclusion ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 132 Chapter 6. Friendship and Relational Virtue ----------------------------------------------- 134 6.1. Introduction ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 134 6.2. Friendship vs. Parent-Child Relationship --------------------------------------------- 135 6.3. Friendship and Virtue ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 139 6.3.1. Being Generally Virtuous is Not Necessary for Being Virtuous as a Friend ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 141 6.3.2. Being Generally Virtuous is Not Sufficient for Being Virtuous as a Friend ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 148 6.4. Friendship and Morality ------------------------------------------------------------------- 152 6.5. Conclusion ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 157 Chapter 7. Relational Activity View on Partiality ----------------------------------------- 158 7.1. Introduction ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 158 7.2. The Projects View --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 159 7.3. The Relationships View -------------------------------------------------------------------- 161 viii 7.4. The Individuals View ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 166 7.5. Response to Keller’s Individuals View ------------------------------------------------- 168 7.6. The Relational Activity View -------------------------------------------------------------