to - MANCHESTER HERALD, Tuesday. April 26, 1983 Love and money inseparable issues - .-A l i i ’ h NEW YORK (UPI) - Love and whole thing because they’ve blown up a $2,000 bill at„a department fam ily.” ■ money are inseparable issues that it away on one occasion.” store for linens and other items. The main problem Ms. Colman \ Excellence Is goal Why Starling Is 'Ghrls hodd’s often lead to separations and Ms. Colman said she wrote the The husband exploded when the found among two-paycheck cou­ divorces. book because “ of a personal issuel bill came. ples was lack of time for each other high ambitions That's the view of Carol Colman, had to resolve. My husband (a "They went for marriage coun­ and for planning and deciding who of top educators a future champ a working wife, who adds. “ We’re lawyer), really wanted to teach, seling and later divorced," Ms. will run the household. just starting to view marriage as write and lead an academic life. Colman said. Household operation should be ... page 7 ... page 9 ... page 6 an economic partnership as well as “ Then, he toid me thesalary. My She found another couple, subur­ shared 50-50, she said, with respon­ 'p ® )■• an emotional one." jaw dropped. banites in their early 40s, who sibilities assigned as you would in In hundreds of interviews for her “ I consider myseif a feminist. I overspend together. an office. iiti book, “ Love and Money" (Coward- work (as director of public affairs They married young, had kids in Instead of complaining that your McCann, $1S.95), Ms. Colman for a New York radio station.) It rapid sucession. The husband went husband doesn't clean or shop as found the same problems cropping disturbed me that I was so to night school; the wife got a well as you do, “ lower your up again and again. disturbed.” secretarial job while continuing to standards, ladies. Take him to the “ Peopie are hopelessly roman­ Failing to find books on the care for their threeyoung children. store and show him how to shop." tic," she said in an interview. subject, she began interviewing “ Whenever one of them was And accept the reality: “ He'snot , And romanticism leads most friends and. eventually, dozens of depressed, they’d go to dinner, going to be your household clone. Manchester, Conn. couples to avoid premarital discus­ other people around the country plan a vacation; buy each other “ I think some womenjdon’ t want Becorying cloudy tonight; sions of the very issues that would Wednesday, April 27, 1983 about the role finances play in ridiculously lavish presents." to relinquish the enormous power sunny and warm Thursday help them avoid financial or marriage and. other perspnal They ended up with a budget of the household. They're the Single copy; 25C emotional trouble after the knot is relationships. counselor, then a marriage coun­ homemakers who shut their hus­ —‘ See page 2 tied, she sajd. ’’Setting up a budget can wreck a selor, and now are trying to stop band and often their children out of “ Working out a realistic budget relationship,” she found. “ It de­ their destructive habits, Ms. Col­ cooking ant cleaning completely. fflanrli^alrr Hrralb and taking emergency expenses pends on how well a couple can talk man said. "There are women who can’t let into account” are high on her list. to each other. They must be able to “ People have unrealistic expec­ go, who criticize their husband Emergency expenses might in­ discuss their priorities and lifes- tations because of difficult eco­ every time he does something clude car repairs, a surprise tyie without fighting over money.” nomic times.” around the house. medical .bill, even inviting some­ She interviewed one wife who She found women no longer “ There are also men who buy one to the wedding for which they used money as a weapon. content to perform traditional soda and cookies and don’t notice would have to buy a new dress. “ Her husband didn't talk to her roles, and men "want the power of you need formula and diapers." “ Many people budget tootightly. or pay any attention to her." the breadwinner but don’t want the In both instances, gentle remind­ It’s like a diet — they’ll forget the Reagan: U.S. can’t ignore Salvador To get his attention the wife ran whole burden of supporting their > ers are in order, she said. When time is iimited By Donald A. Davis Association. end of a brief speech to the support for Reagan’s criticized special peace envoy to try and Secretary of State George Shultz united Press International “ But we can no longer ignore the newspaper executives gave a policies in Central America. organize elections between the announced the envoy in a letter fire that is burning in our own front preview of the tack he will take "You will learn some things ... government of El Salvador and the from the State Department, and > yard. We must respond — both pledged the envoy would be “ a NEW YORK — President Rea­ tonight in an address to a joint that you haven’t learned up to leftist rebels fighting it. Reagan gan, offering another glimpse at with unity and firmness of pur­ session of Congress after shuttling now,” said Rep. J. Kenneth was expected to announce the senior U.S. official of ambassador­ Treat home sewing as ^ business tonight’s special address on his pose. The peoples of this hemis­ back to Washington from New Robinson, R-Va., the ranking envoy as a centerpiece of his ial rank” who would “ assist the UPI piioio controversial Central American phere are all Americans — and all York. Republican on the House Intelli- speech. Salvadorans in their efforts to find policy, warned today the United of us share a vital stake in a future His quick trip to New York also ■ gence Committee, indicating Rea­ Congress reacted quickly and a basis for a dialogue with their By Jeanne Lesem cleaners; one on lingerie, and others on such DICKINSON, MASIELL AND WILLIS States cannot ignore the^“ fire that of democracy and freedom,” Rea­ was to include a stop at a police gan may declassify documents to favorably to the surprise offer opponents on the terms and United Press International techniques as dart manipulation and other . "Gay Divorce " at Goodspeed is burning in our own front yard.” gan said. precinct and an appearance at a help make his case. from the White House, with a conditions for free, fair and safe alterations of patterns and ready-to-wear. "W e are not accustomed to “ We have it in our power to act Republican reception. Rep. Edward Boland, D-Mass., House committee voting Tuesday elections.” NEW YORK — Leona Rocha believes in , . "We realize many women viewers will use worrying about a military threat in now, to keep the situation manage­ The administration views the said Reagan would argue “ how to grant Reagan $30 million in Former Sen. Richard Stone, treating home sewing like a business. some of the information tor ready-to-wear,” our own hemishpere. We have able and it is in that spirit that I rare address to the joint session of important Central America is to additional military aid for El D-Fla., who chaired the subcom­ “ If your time is limited, ask yourself, 'How she said. "There isn’t a ready-to-wear garment almost taken for granted friendly, shall speak to the Congress and the Congress — something normally the security of the United States. Salvador. Deputy press secretary mittee on Latin American affairs much time am I going to put in and how much that I put on without altering.” independent neighbors,” Reagan nation tonight,” Reagan told the reserved for exalted matters such In a critical advance move, the Larry Speakes said the adminis­ and has been closely aligned with am I going to get out of it?’’’ For those who start with a paper pattern, she Goodspeed’s try publishers. as the State of the Union address — tration still wants the full $60 Reagan’s policies in the region, is said in remarks prepared for the administration assured Congress A mother may .sew children’s clothes to save emphasizes the importance of perfecting the American Newspaper^ Publishers The president’s comments at the to be a vital step in freshening the administration will appoint a million originally requested. considered a leading candidate. money instead of buying ready-to-wear that is pattern before cutting the garment, and shows quickly outgrown, she said. how to do it. at Porter revival “ We talk about skill levels and time,” said the "Many new sewers assume if they buy the host of The Sewing Show, which debuted pattern correctly they never have to check their recently on cable TV through Hearst-ABC measurements against it.” Video Services, She recommends choosing simple patterns doomed at start San Francisco mayor She warns against fantasizing. with as few pieces as possible for expensive, “ You see a fabric you know will make a easily damaged fabrics such as silks and knock-out dress and you buy an 80-piece synthetic suedes. Bv Frederick Waterman suave Italian paia lo oe a corres­ pattern,” she said, ruefully recalling an early The shawl segment in the series is designed to Written far UPI pondent in ^vorce cases. His project of her own. encourage beginners, “ women looking to outrageous overplaying is per­ Well, not actually an 80 piece pattern, she satisfy their curiosity about how easy it is to EAST HADDAM — Between fectly in tune with Porter’s frothy defeats recall attempt added, but it was too complicated for her skill sew, getting women to think about how to makle intention and production is a .