H.M.N.Z.T. TAHITI, No. 6 9. No. 2. J a n u a r y 20 t h , 1917 . MHere we are Again.” editorial power, that the frequently mentioned literary staff is not going to T H E success-•-editorial modesty hints be allowed that freedom which it enjoyed that we should not say marked success-•• before, for in our second edition we which attended the publication of the seek to supply news features which w ere first number of "The Oilsheet," and absent from our first edition. W e aim the generous welcome accorded its valu- in the pages which follow at creating the able and influential pages of rich literary "atm osphere" of the transport, in giving gems. calculated to infuse vivid illumin­ more space to the daily happenings and , ation into the Inky W ay , have stirred incidents associated with our journey the slumbering genius of our grossly both afloat and ashore, and in frequently underpaid literary staff to such an extent re-sounding that personal note of the that they clamour for further scope in doings of the men, which, we hope, which to liberate their talents. Aided will fill every page w ith pleasant thought and abetted by some unknown factor and happy reminiscence. It is thus that which appears to take particular care to we come before you again seeking no keep us wandering about strange seas reward, but trusting that our appearance much longer than w e originally supposed may assist towards brightening our pro­ would be the case, our highly ingenious longed voyage across the seas. literary staff points out that we are con­ sequently supplied with ample time in THE VERY LATEST. which to muster and parade its talents before our ship-load of " Innocents Yesterday I was talking to a chap A broad." And so it comes to pass that during smoke-oh. H e looked a sensible after careful deliberation-•-in which the kind of fellow, #s if he, at least, hadn't question of salaries was uppermost in been deprived of. his reasoning faculties, the minds of the staff-•-we have decided an operation which is usually performed upon a second edition of "The Oil- on a man when ha joins the army. sheet." But let it be said here, acting '' Have you heard the lates'^news ?'' under the complete authority of the said he. I looked up eagerly.' "A t last," 1 thought, "this will be something “ HEADS1” AND THEIR WAYS official. This fellow would not pass There's one from the Navy, the Navy on luiid and fictitious rumours." there's one from, " W e ll," said he, " w e are going to He's "Evans, Commander," and Iceland to coal; then to Jamaica to pick what not, up an escort of Allied warships ; after He doesn't believe in the regiment's which we are going to the Black Sea to canteen, help the Russians. It must be true, for And soldiers demolishing "gut rot." I heard it frorn the second cook", who Surrounded by "H eads" he looks under was told direct by the medical sergeant 1" the beds I turned away in grief : a sadder and His little flash lamp starts to wink, a wiser man. And God guard the foolhardy mouse he I heard a rumour to-day also. The finds hiding, ninth engineer told the ship's cat that It's ten days C.B. or the clink. the Kaiser intended "throwing up the He s the Naval Commander, well sponge" on the arrival of the Nineteenth rather 1 Reinforcement within the firing zone. On the Tahiti he is king pin 1 I don't boubt for an instant the Kaiser's He thinks it is wrong for the soldiers to unholy terror at the mention of our name; long for but I am very cautious about believing Stone ginger or fish in the tin. any rumour that is not passed as true by It's all very well for his lordship, the censor-..this one seems to have a A plausible tale he doth tell, decidedly fishy source, sonehoA'. If he wants his shandy, his fish, or his You can't get away from these candy, rumours. They are part of the stock-in- He just has to tinkle the bell. trade of officers and other notorious characters ; they are swallowed like pills They call him the Major, the Major by N .C .O .'s and men; they permeate they call him, the crew's quarters; the R.N.A.P. He's tall, but he's Little, yes really I place, them regularly on the menu at He's kind, sympathetic, and so energetic, meal time. Like snakes go these rumours, His hospital's full •••pretty nearly, silent, unseen, invidious. A rumour let The Sisters, of course, are the central loose at noon is guaranteed to have gone attaction, the rounds of the ship by 12.10 p.m. ; Soldiers all are susceptible cusses and this more thoroughly than the daily The patients lie there and watch every ship inspection (which is saying a lot). .small action A peculiar characteristic of these danger­ And long for attention and fusses, ous amphibians is their remarkable ability So here's to the Medical Major, for rapid growth. A rumour born in The orderlies too, do their b it; the morning is full grown by noon : by You have to make sure of a temperature tea time it is old, decrepid, hoary, and To hear all the hospital wit. bewhiskered. During this period it has W hen I get red jelly, each patient undergone many curious changes, so as Yells out he wants jelly too, to be quite unrecognisable except by the But when I get measles they're as silent parent. For instance, I heard a rumour as weasels, the other day to the effect that the Oh, it's hard going back to the stew. Maunganui, was coming near us next day to borrow a corkscrew off the M Coy. W hen in a recent port we had the Quartermaster. Soon it had changed to privilege of attending the Cathedral on this : The Maunganui was going to give two Sundays, and other denominations some beer and a corkscrew to the M attended their respective churches injhe Coy. Quartermaster. At tea time the city. On Christmas Day many attended orderly said to me; "Heard the latest? the Holy Communion services at the W ell the G Coy. Serg.-Major is placed various churches. On ship, the work under arrest for stealing 6 hogsheads of goes quietly. New Year's Eve services beer from the pub at Mangonui, up and Holy Communion on New Year's north of Auckland; the corkscrew in Day were well attended. On W ednes­ his pocket was circumstantial evidence, days we have special services for the and he is to be shot tomorrow. Nuff sedl Maoris. 2 CRICKET ON SHORE. LITERARY AND DEBATING ----- SOCIETY. At our second port of call cricketers on our two ships were able to get some One of the most popular recreations games ashore, and greatly enjoyed the on the Transport is the Literary and ■opportunity. In all. three games were Debating Society, and the executive (President, Sgt. T. Auton ; Vice-Presi- played, two on the Green Point track, dent, Sgt. A. R. Rudkin; Secretary, and one on the Newlands ground. The Corpl. H. O'Brien) has provided a pro­ matting wickets were a little strange and gramme which has met all tastes. the outfields slow. The latter ground The first meeting took the form of is very prettily situated and is beautifully Impromptu Speeches. For the most part the speeches were versatile, with logic green in a country where the grass is and humour pleasantly interspersed, not always so; it is the "Oval " where while the criticisms of the speeches added all big matches are played. considerably to the attractiveness of the Mr. Green, the President of the Sea evening. At the next meeting the per­ Point Club, met us upon our first match tinent subject "State Control of the with a most kindly welcome and our op- Liquor Traffic" was debated. The ponents (in our interest) kept the refresh­ arguments advanced by both sides were ment rooms open. Unfortunately the educational in their nature, and the judge, match was lost by 36 runs, but might Mr. G. T. Weston, in declaring the have been won but for the missing of a affirmative side (Pte. H. Andrews and catch at a critical stage. Major Robin­ Sgt. Rudkin) the winners, stated that the son captained our side, and the follow­ negative side (Lieut. Pattrick and Pte. ing players got into double figures; Barclay) put up a very strong case. Sgt. Donaldson, 21, Cpl. Taylor, 16, A Parliamentary Election provided Lieuts. G. T. Weston 15, and Baxter both politics and humour of a high order. 14. Pte. Holland and Cpl. Taylor The ballot showed Sgt.-Major Foster at secured 7 and 2 wickets respectively. the head of the poll. The next match was played between "The Abolition of the Totalisator" the officers and N .C .O .'s of the Rein­ was affirmed at the next meeting by forcement, the latter being the winners by Sgts. Auton and Rudkin; Sgt.-Major about 50 runs. Lt. Baxter was top score Foster and H. Fraser took the negative, for the losers, and Sergts. Donaldson and and after an interesting debate the judge Dhering, Cpls. Taylor and Groves got (Capt. Northcroft) gave his decision in into double figures for their side.