VOL I, Issue 4, June 4, 2014 WillWill YouYou BeBe ReadyReady forfor Chaos?Chaos? PAGE 2 ABQ’s Top Home Water Wrecking Our Users Schools? PAGE 5 PAGE 7 Ai Weiwei, Judy Chicago STARTING ON PAGE 10 FREE PAGE 2 • June 4, 2014 • ABQ FREE PRESS NEWS When the Big One Hits, ABQ Free Press Pulp News VOL I, Issue 4, June 4, 2014 Nobody Gets Hurt realize how central food is to our lives,” writes Lizzie Widdicombe of www.freeabq.com Will You Be Prepped? Brazil is telling tourists heading the New Yorker. www.abqarts.com to the World Cup, which begins in BY JIM WAGNER a few days, not to scream if they Editor: [email protected] Post-Apocalyptic Currency? are mugged. Why? So the robbery Cashing In IN THIS ISSUE oe figures he has prepared well doesn’t turn into a murder. Brazil has Associate Editor, Arts: [email protected] enough to survive for three In an era where money has no value, Former Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, J one of the highest homicide rates in months. And so will his 35-year-old ATM cards don’t work and barter is the now a speaker on the lecture circuit, the world: 25 out of every 100,000 Advertising: [email protected] daughter and his 13-year-old grand- new normal, serious preppers say the pulls down $250,000 per speech. currency will be – bullets. Brazilians die as a result of homicide. daughter and a former wife and her That’s $53,000 more than he made NEWS Specifically, .22 caliber long rifle “Do not react, scream or argue,” says On Twitter: @freeabq friend. per year in his old government job, ammunition, or .22 LR, for short. the official guide. Preparing for the Apocalypse: Are You Ready? ..............................................................................Page 2 The five of them will hole up in Reuters reports. Serious preppers are snapping up the Editor ABQ Free Press Pulp News ........................................................................................................... Page 2 Joe’s modest Northeast Heights home, one-time ubiquitous “plinking” ammo Dan Vukelich minutes from Sandia High School. in the belief it will be used to buy all Grilling Guilt Hey, Four Eyes Water Authority Lists Top ABQ Home Water Users ........................................................................ Page 5 (505) 220-0818 Joe’s ready. He’s a prepper. manner of goods after society collapses, Next time you throw a steak on Hotel Andaluz Celebrates 75 Years .................................................................................................Page A prepper is one who has taken the The explosion of computer screens 6 said Jerry Ellenberger, owner of the the barbecue, consider that you’re has led to an increase in nearsight- Associate Editor, Arts initiative to accumulate a variety of Los Ranchos Gun and Tackle Shop. worsening climate change. Charcoal edness in children worldwide. One Stephanie Hainsfurther supplies to subsist for at least a short “They fit into your pocket and they’re is energy-intensive to produce (wood fourth of the world’s population now (505) 301-0905 while. Joe believes he’s ready for a small,” Ellenberger said. “You want to is smoldered to make it). When you’re is myopic. By 2020, about one in three COLUMNS failure of the electric grid. Ready for buy a bar of soap. That might be 50 done with charcoal, it continues people will need glasses. The cause: Design the significant solar flare that he’s bullets. You want to buy some cooking to burn, emitting carbon. Overall, Hannah Reiter Dr. Barbara: HPV and Pap Smears .................................................................................................Page 7 convinced will strike the Earth. Ready gas. That might be 500 bullets.” close-up reading using tablets, PCs charcoal emits three times the CO2 of Terry Kocon Tales from the Bench: When Bobby Unser Got a Speeding Ticket .................................................Page for government upheaval that’ll send Along with a surge in gun sales and and smartphones, according to 8 propane. But going down this road The Atlantic. America into anarchy. an influx of new shooters, preppers’ leads to the inevitable question: If Photography The Answer Guy: Brewing Your Own Beer ......................................................................................Page 9 belief that .22 LR ammo will replace the Joe (not his real name) is not alone. charcoal is bad for the environment, Juan Antonio Labreche, Liz Lopez Aimless Vagabond: Emotionally Scarred Years Later .....................................................................Page dollar made it almost impossible to buy 9 There are an estimated 3 million isn’t meat even worse? Who Needs Kinder- preppers in the United States. The for a time. Supply is catching up with Contributors demand but the price surged from 2 garten Anyway? movement took off after the govern- Annette Chartier, Carlos Contreras, Bill Diven, cents a round to as high as 20 cents. ment’s failure to respond to Hurricane Subway Tragedy The top four hedge-fund managers – Dede Feldman, Barry Gaines, Jim Hammond, “No, no .22 long rifle, we’re out,” Jerry OPINION Katrina. It got help from Hollywood. A woman in Gastonia, N.C., was John Paulson, David Tepper, Steven Nate Maxson, Dr. Barbara McAneny, told a customer while we were there. “I “Revolution” is a post-apocalyptic Cohen and James Simons – reported Joe Monahan, Mary Montaño, Richard Oyama, Kathy Korte: Martinez and Skandera Are Wrecking Our Schools ..................................................Page say that maybe 25 times a day. Makes charged with misusing the 911 7 thriller. The Discovery Channel’s a combined $8.34 billion in income Peter St. Cyr, Wolf Schneider, me want to lay in a stash of 10,000 emergency line after she complained Letters ..............................................................................................................................................Page 8 “Doomsday Bunkers” features last year. That equates to the sum total Franchesca Stevens, Mark Taylor, rounds, just in case.” a Subway shop had served her shelters preppers are building to marinara sauce instead of pizza sauce that 157,800 kindergarten teachers – Seth Taylor, Christine Vigil, Efrain Villa. survive everything from flood to on her flatbread. “Can you please every one in the United States – made Copy Editor nuclear meltdowns. send a cop down here?” the 37-year- in the same year. “The Mormons old woman told a 911 operator. Jim Wagner ARTS Wendy Fox Dial don’t keep a year Oh, God! The Bible, Abridged .......................................................................................................Page 10 of supplies because GM Speak Advertising they fear the end It’s People! How attuned are they to language at the First Novel in New Mystery Series ................................................................................................Page 10 Mark Hainsfurther (505) 400-7601 of the world,” Joe That’s what Charlton Heston shouted new General Motors? Very. Among Ai Weiwei Collaborates with Navajo Artist Page ...........................................................................Page Abby Feldman (505) 220-2820 11 said. “They stock at the end of the 1973 sci-fi flick words that GM workers are urged not Garrett Ferguson, (505) 550-6971 Happy Birthday, Judy Chicago ......................................................................................................Page11 up in case there’s a “Soylent Green,” but no one’s crying to use in internal reports are: “defect,” ® Calendar of Events .......................................................................................................................Page national emergency conspiracy about a new Ensure -like “safety” and “problem.” The Associ- Published twice-monthly by: 12 ated Press reported that other banned so they can help powdered food product called Great Noggins LLC Fishtank Ensemble Makes Gypsy Jazz ........................................................................................Page 14 their community Soylent, which costs $1 per meal in terms include “rolling sarcophagus,” P.O. Box 6070 Koch Brothers Buy Up America ....................................................................................................Page 14 survive.” bulk and can provide 35 essential “dangerous” and “horrific.” GM’s Albuquerque, NM 87197-6070 See-through nutrients. Boosters believe it can put a recall total so far in 2014: 15 million. More Jazz at the Museum ............................................................................................................Page 15 plastic boxes of cans Dan Vukelich dent in world hunger. The downside Publishers Compiled by ABQ Free Press and packages of Preppers say every household should have some of these items on hand. is its tastelessness.“You begin to Will Ferguson and Dan Vukelich ON THE COVER: A mushroom cloud rises over the “Castle Romeo” test of a thermonuclear device food are stacked in on March 27, 1954, over Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands. The explosion yielded 11 megatons Joe’s closets and garage. A rain barrel post-apocalyptic value: stick matches, Corrections policy: of energy. It remains the third most powerful nuclear device ever detonated by the United States. Image courtesy of the National Nuclear Safety Administration, Nevada Field Office. he recently bought will supplement manual can openers, soap, plastic or It is the policy of ABQ Free Press his store-bought bottles of water. In paper dinnerware. WANTED: to correct errors in a timely fashion. a journal, he writes down what’s