SENATOR JEFF FLAKE presents waSTebookTHE FARCE AWAKENS a report on WASTEFUL FEDERAL SPENDING starring MONKEYS ON TREADMILLS, PARTIES FOR HIPSTERS and SHEEP IN MICROGRAVITY featuring PARTY BUSES, WINEMAKING FOR MINORS, THE SCIENCE OF BEER KOOZIES, ZOMBIES IN THE WHITE HOUSE, DATING SECRETS FOR THE UNATTRACTIVE and DOZENS MORE december 2015 1 2 Methodology and Acknowledgements………………………………………………………………………………………1 Introduction Letter……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………2 1. Paid patriotism ($6.8 million)………………………………………………………………………………………………4 2. Monkeys on a treadmill ($1 million) …………………………………………………………………………………..7 3. Extreme tourism ($2.1 million) …………………………………………………………………………………………..9 4. Hipster parties ($5 million) ………………………………………………………………………………………………..11 5. Koozies keep it cool ($1.3 million) ………………………………………………………………………….15 6. Pizza addiction ($780,000) …………………………………………………………………………………………………17 7. Party bus ($3 million) …………………………………………………………………………………………………………19 8. Sheep in microgravity ($1.2 million) …………………………………………………………………………………..23 9. Rich subsidies ($104.4 million) …………………………………………………………………………………………..25 10. The other white meat ($3 million) ………………………………………………………………………………….….28 11. Money up in smoke ($119 million) …………………………………………………………………………………….30 12. The world’s most expensive gas station ($43 million) ………………………………………………………..32 13. The most wasteful place in the USA ($1 billion) …………………………………………………………………35 14. Prada for your pooch ($210,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………….38 15. Cloud city on Venus ($279,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………….40 16. Political parties in Pakistan ($21.5 million) …………………………………………………………………..…….42 17. Wine classes for minors ($853,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………44 18. Dating secret of the unattractive ($276,000) ……………………………………………………………………..46 19. Jazz playing robots ($2 million) ………………………………………………………………………………………….48 20. Drought sculptures ($2.6 million) ………………………………………………………………………………………50 21. Orange river ($8 million) …………………………………………………………………………………………………..53 22. Beer: foreign food aid ($68,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………..55 23. Love at first swipe ($851,500) ……………………………………………………………………………………………58 24. Majoring in terrorism ($2,000) …………………………………………………………………………………………..60 25. Traveling circus ($8,500) …………………………………………………………………………………………………….62 26. Million dollar mansion makeover ($180,000) …………………………………………………………………….64 27. Slum lord subsidies ($60 million) ……………………………………………………………………………………....66 28. A perfect tweet ($2.6 million) …………………………………………………………………………………………….69 29. VA execs: More money less work ($1.8 million) ……………………………………………………………..….71 30. HUD housing help ($2 million) ……………………………………………………………………………………………73 31. Fat suit ($17,500) ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….74 32. Zombies in the White House ($60,000) ………………………………………………………………………………76 33. Shrimp fight club ($707,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………………..78 34. NASA mission to Hawaii ($3 million)………………………………………………………………………….……….81 35. Punk archive ($20,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………………………83 36. Cartooning in India ($35,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………….……85 37. Back to the future day ($185,000) …………………………………………………………………………….……….86 38. How to use a lawyer guide ($728,000) ……………………………………………………………………………….88 39. Bankrupt boondoggle ($581,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………89 3 40. Not the droids you’re looking for ($13.6 million) ……………………………………………………………….91 41. Sing-along brunch party ($79,000) …………………………………………………………………………………….95 42. Ultimate tailgating ($5 million) ………………………………………………………………………………….……..97 43. Russian maker faire festivals ($50,000) …………………………………………………………………………....98 44. Block party ($86,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………………………..99 45. Reindeer herding ($55,000) .…………………………………………………………………………………………….101 46. Robot lobby greeter ($2.5 million) ……………………………………………………………………………………103 47. Bogus payments ($100 billion+)………………………………………………………………………………………..105 48. Fat detector ($200,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………………..…108 49. Decision impaired campaign ($77,000) …………………………………………………………………………….110 50. Rotting Yemen aid ($700,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………….112 51. Ethanol pumps ($100 million) ……………………………………………………………………………………..…..114 52. Obamacare coverage ($400 million) .……………………………………………………………………………….116 53. Piñata appreciation ($20,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………….119 54. Unnecessary data centers ($5 billion) ……………………………………………………………………………...121 55. Swanky science soirée ($120,000) …………………………………………………………………………………...122 56. The fish who didn’t get away ($175,000) ..……………………………………………………………………….123 57. Distracting billboards ($200,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………..125 58. Life-size Pac-Man ($1.2 million) ……………………………………………………………………………………...127 59. Disability for non-English speakers ($2.6 million) .…………………………………………………………..129 60. Puppet shows ($115,000) …………………………………………………………………………………………….….131 61. Hotel shower monitor ($15,000) ………………………………………………………………………………….....133 62. IT insecurity ($1 billion) …………………………………………………………………………………………………...135 63. Smoking in Russia ($121,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………….….138 64. VA artwork and junkets ($40 million) ………………………………………………………………………….…..140 65. State fair competitions ($65,000) ……………………………………………………………………………….…...142 66. Cat tales ($300,000) …………………………………………………………………………………………………………144 67. Free rent for freeloaders ($448 million) …………………………………………………………………………..146 68. Empty buildings in Afghanistan ($110 million) …………………………………………………………………147 69. Virtual haunted house ($9,450) ……………………………………………………………………………………….149 70. Rainbow railroad lights ($2.8 million) ……………………………………………………………………………...150 71. Legacy software’s legacy (more than $9.5 million)……………………………………………………….....153 72. Truancy app ($50,000) …………………………………………………………………………………………………….156 73. California zip line ($1.8 million) ………………………………………………………………………………..…..…158 74. Paid to do nothing ($1.8 million) ……………………………………………………………………………………..159 75. Suspicious bar coasters ($2.5 million) .……………………………………………………………………………..160 76. Artificial story time ($204,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………..162 77. The world at 7 o’clock ($455,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………164 78. Maple Madness ($20,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………………...166 79. Hyper dogs ($10 million) …………………………………………………………………………………………………168 80. Cosmetology school ($1.25 million) ………………………………………………………………………………..170 81. Big pay for little work ($140,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………171 82. Yogurtopia ($77,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………………………174 83. The WAVE streetcar ($1.25 million) ………………………………………………………………………………..175 84. The library of things ($55,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………..177 85. Solar powered beer ($210,000) ……………………………………………………………………………………...179 86. Buried cemetery grant ($3.2 million) …………………………………………………………………….………..181 87. Goat truffles ($124,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………………….184 4 88. Unused spare vehicles ($2.5 million) ……………………………………………………………………………….185 89. Eye doctor’s storefront ($50,000) …………………………………………………………………………………….186 90. Cheese heritage center ($300,000) ………………………………………………………………………………….187 91. Rhode Island visitors center ($9 million) ………………………………………………………………………….189 92. Guppy fishing ($899,000) ………………………………………………………………………………………………..191 93. Furnishings for a microbrewery ($68,000) ……………………………………………………………………….193 94. #Angrytweets & #heartattacks ($668,000) ………………………………………………………………………194 95. Abandoned train stations ($823,900) ………………………………………………………………………………196 96. The wine glass half full ($176,000) ………………………………………………………………………………….198 97. Gator alley ($320,000) …………………………………………………………………………………………………….200 98. Grow something in the garden state ($40,000) ……………………………………………………………….202 99. Black and blue berries ($2.37 million) …………………………………………………………………………..…203 100. Good book ($7,200) …………………………………………………………………………………………………205 1 1 Methodology For inclusion in Wastebook, some or all of the expenditures or work for an entry occurred in calendar year 2015 or Fiscal Year 2015, which began October 1, 2014 and ended September 30, 2015. Some or all of the money from a grant, loan, contract, tax break, or other federal expenditure was spent to support the activities described in the entry. The best effort was made to determine the spending amount during the time period described. However, in some cases the exact amount spent on the particular activity was not tracked by the agency, could not be determined, was spent over a number of years, or is allocated for future spending. Therefore, the amount provided may be the total amount budgeted for the program or grant profiled. Acknowledgements The Congressional Research Service, Senate Library, Government Accountability Office, Offices of Inspectors General, and staff of the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs all made significant contributions to the contents of Wastebook 2015. 1 1 1 Monkeys running in hamster balls on a treadmill. Zombies in the White House. Sheep in microgravity. Cartooning in India. A life-size Pac-Man game. Jazz lessons for robots. A cloud city on Venus! Despite the public ballyhooing over budget austerity, the government didn’t come up short on outlandish ways to waste money in 2015. Like the monkeys on the treadmill, Washington politicians also ran in place trading familiar arguments in the seemingly never ending match of budget brinksmanship. But the stare down over whether or not to increase spending didn’t last long. Instead of one side blinking, both sides winked