POPCORN & GOOBERS SINCE 1992 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY JAMES SWAGERTY VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 49 | DECEMBER 3-9, 2015 | FREE [2] WEEKLY ALIBI DECEMBER 3-9 , 2015 DECEMBER 3-9 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [3] alibi VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 49 | DECEMBER 3-9 , 2015 EDITORIAL FILM EDITOR: Devin D. 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The content of this issue is Copyright © 2015 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. Association of Alternative Newsmedia [4] WEEKLY ALIBI DECEMBER 3-9 , 2015 parking lot. Columbus Police Capt. Tony Danford told the newspaper the driver exited New MexicoMexico’s’s’s LarLargest,gestgest, Most Lavish, AuthenAuthenticuthentic Nutcracker! ODDS the truck, at which point “he fell under it and the truck ran over his right leg.” Miller was arrested. He was taken to an area hospital THE D where he was listed as being in “unsatisfactory N ENDS condition with a severe ankle injury.” A Dateline: Florida NUTCRACKERNUTCRACRACCKER WEIRD NEWS Police in Jacksonville Beach say the Dark Dateline: Zimbabwe Lord of the Sith Darth Vader was foiled by a BALLET There was some serious controversy at jar of salad dressing as he attempted to rob a Zimbabwe’s annual “Mister Ugly” contest convenience store. Investigators told the after the reigning champ lost out to a Florida Times-Union a man dressed as Darth newcomer deemed by some as “too Vader entered the 8 til Late convenience handsome” to hold the title. Based on his store on S. Third Street around 5:30pm on missing teeth and “unpleasant facial Sunday, Nov. 22. The man, later identified as FinaFinalal expressions,” judges chose 42-year-old Mison 32-year-old Jacob Jeremy Mercer of Sere as the winner of the 4th annual Mister Tonawanda, N.Y., brandished a silver Ugly competition. William Masvinu, who has handgun and demanded money. The clerk, WeekeWeekend!end! held the title since 2012, attacked the judges who refused to hand over the cash, got into a decision, saying, “I am naturally ugly. He is tussle with Mercer and ended up flinging a jar not. He is ugly only when he opens his of salad dressing at the black-clad villain. The mouth.” Another contestant, Patrick jar struck Vader in the noggin, damaging his All performperformancesmances Mupereki, accused Sere of “cheating,” asking, trademark helmet. The robber exited the “Do we have to lose out teeth to win?” store, removed his mask and escaped in a at PopPopejoyejejooy Hall According to local press,the crowd at the silver car with New York plates. The car was event turned violent and mobbed the judges later found at a nearby residence. Mercer, after Sere’s controversial upset victory was who was bleeding from the bridge of his nose, Sat Dec 5, 2p2pmpm & 7pm announced. Sere, who took home the was removed from the residence and contest’s top prize of $500, dismissed his identified by one of the witnesses. Several Sun Dec 6, 22pm critics as “sore losers.” “They should just handguns and ammunition were found in accept that I am uglier than them.” he said. “I Mercer’s backpack, the police report said. He hope to get a TV contract. I already moved was taken to Duval County Jail and charged around schools performing and showing my with armed robbery and possession of a FeaturingFeaturing ugliness, so this is a chance to make firearm by a felon. it on TV.” New YorkYoYork City Citty Ballet Dateline: New York dancers TeresaTerTeresa ReichlenR Dateline: Canada The US Military Academy at West Point has An intoxicated driver was charged with decided to ban pillow fights after 30 cadets “imparied care or control” after he called York were wounded during a bloody, goose-down- and TylerTyler AngleA Regional Police and requested assistance in filled rampage earlier this summer. Since getting his vehicle started. According to a 2001, first-year students, known as “plebes,” media release by the YRP, 27-year-old have organized the annual pillow fight as a Tickets start at $11 $111 forfoforadults adults Andrew Scuglia of Richmond Hill phoned a way to build camaraderie. But this year’s police non-emergency number shortly after pillow fight on Aug. 20 reportedly escalated and $9 forfor childrenchildrc 2:30am on Tuesday, Nov. 24, to report an into a violent brawl with several plebes being inability to get his car started. The dispatcher hit from behind and knocked to the ground. could “hear the engine revving in the Reported injuries included a broken nose, a background as the driver attempted to get his fractured cheek and 24 diagnosed NutcrackerNM.comNutcrackerNM.comeerN vehicle moving.” Officers soon located the concussions. “While never officially car, which “was running, with the lights and sanctioned, [the pillow fight] is now officially 925-5858 windshield wipers on.” According to the banned, and we will take appropriate action responding officers, the driver allegedly to ensure that all faculty, staff, leaders, the showed “obvious signs of intoxication.” He Corps of Cadets and everyone at West Point was arrested and taken to district knows that it will not be tolerated,” West headquarters where he blew over the legal Point Superintendent Lt. Gen. Robert Caslen limit on a breath alcohol test. said in a statement. According to a report on the pillow fight released earlier this month, upper-class cadets did not take proper control Dateline: Georgia of the fight. The report said upper-class Gregory Miller, 56, was arrested after he ran behavior “ranged from throwing items such as over himself trying to steal a beer truck from a small milk cartons, water balloons, fruit and local gas station. Miller was apprehended glow sticks from barracks to yelling at plebes after attempting to steal a Coors Light and encouraging them ‘get back into the delivery truck from a Circle K gas station in fight.’” Several of the participants in this Columbus around 6am on Monday, Nov. 23. year’s pillow fight were reportedly dressed in The Ledger-Enquirer reports the driver of the full body armor. delivery truck was inside the gas station when a Miller jumped into the vehicle and drove off. Compiled by Devin D. O’Leary. Email your weird The beer lover drove the truck to a nearby news to [email protected]. Bojangles restaurant and stashed it in the DECEMBER 3-9 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [5] NEWS | NEWS CITY second quarter. The second half was a different story; the score went back and forth as Air Force repeatedly threatened and sometimes controlled the game. The Falcons’ Timothy McVey was responsible for much of the Falcons efforts (he scored all five Falcon touchdowns, three in the second half ), but the Lobo defense held on, limiting the Air Force Falcons to just 222 rushing yards. The score tipped to and from the Lobo’s advantage BY AUGUST MARCH in the fourth quarter. The Falcons came within 6 points of leading with minutes to go, but the Another holiday, another lucky recovery of an on side kick near the end tragedy of play led to a game-winning score for the he history of motor vehicle accidents in Lobos and coach Bob Davie, who now await New Mexico is often tragically threaded word on the next step in the process of Tthrough with tales of drunk driving, wrong- successfully rebuilding the program.