AILY BUL D The Daily Bull is probably not suitable for those under age 18 and should not be taken seriously... like NC-17. L Wednesday, January 19, 2011 Harry Potter Comes to Houghton! The Steaming Pile “When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and By Olivia Zajac ~ Daily Bull Straight From You-Know-Where! that is my religion.” Extensive reporting has turned up that Once this statement hit the internet and What Glenn Mroz blogs about -Abraham Lincoln Harry Potter is going to enroll at Michigan Facebook, students across campus Megamilk Carl H.A. Dassbach Tech as an un- quickly be- Penis Shock Banana hammocks Radioactive safety policy dergrad in the came divided. By Jodhbir Singh ~ Daily Bull His swimming pool of our money Invading the Keweenaw fall of 2011. Ru- One interview- I was very much prepared, Diversity Deez Nuts mors had been ee, Cody Mari- before leaving India for New drugs How much he hates broomball heard that af- no, was simply the US, to face any kind of Anti freeze is not alcohol How tasty the albino squirrel was ter a nasty in- beside himself shock- culture, academic, or Rats with dicks THIS BIG EERC tree campfire cident with a with joy, “I food, etc. However, there Lego castles Dr.Mroz Sing-Along Blog was one dangerous shock Chimaera, he freaking LOVE has decided Harry Potter!” Jeggings Dr. Pepper which no one told me to get Got wood? His workout routine prepared for. So, after en- to take a break w a s a l l h e from it all and could manage Dr. Pepper < Dr. Jaszczak Raising the lift bridge and seceding couragement from friends, High heels in the snow from the U.S. I walked into the swimming enter the magi- before going cal world that on a long and Beef Tips Teletubbies pool for the first time ever Wads special dinner The Blood of the Innocent Wine in my life. They told me that is engineering. endless stream When The Bull of reasons why Where to build an extraneous Hookers and Blow-up dolls I could swim like any other new building Women’s Rights (jk) professional swimmer but to q u e s t i o n e d he loves Potter. the admin of- On the other What parking spaces to remove Sex Change Operation make sure I have a lifejacket Weed Dear hunting on. So, we put our bags in fice, the only e n d o f t h e response was spectrum are Alcohol-free Winter Carnival Vagina Tandoori the lockers, and changed Herding snow cows Harry Potter fanfic clothes. “Well, we cur- such people rently have Mr. who are now Snow tax So many hats, so little time Potter with a whining and The educational value of Poke- Ensuring Broken MEEM Printers I had to put my glasses in mon Studio Pizza the locker, thus I couldn’t declared dou- asking, “When see things very clearly. We ble major in If this doesnt attract the ladies, what will? I is Edward go- walked towards the shower chemical and mean besides Edward Cullen and the men- ing to come area. As we were approach- electrical engi- tally ill ladies. here? There’s ing there, I saw a guy, strong neering. We’re not sure why, he appar- enough sun that he’ll still sparkle and be built, and athletic physique, ently did poorly at his closest chemistry all pretty!” They were quickly transport- taking a shower but NA- class at his previous school, and we’re ed off campus and to a rehabilitation KED. Yes, this was the first almost certain he just likes electricity clinic for the mentally ill. Records have time I ever encountered a because it coordinates with his scar.” indicated that Cullen would not have the Penis-Shock or P-shock. My ...see Witches n Such on back friends (not naked), who had been regular swimmers, Featuring special guest star, were casual about it as if it Half Naked Harry Potter.... ...see Phallus on back ... Phallus from front. was cool to be naked among others. However, the main point of this article Sunshine’s Searcher: But my eyes were wide open and my is not to tell you an embarrassing story Fallout 3 mouth agape in amazement. of mine but to show the differences Brought to you by Jeremy ‘Mr. Sunshine’ Loucks in openness of different cultures. Back ALIENS OUTCASTS I digested the whole situation and home in India, I am sure we are never Operation: ANCHORAGE PARADISE FALLS diverted my attention towards the going to take our pants off in front of ANTS PERKS AREFU PIP-BOY shampoo. An old man walked in on each other, even in near the future of ARMOR POINT LOOKOUT BEHEMOTH POTOMAC the other side of the same shower 2511. BETHESDA PROTECTRON pole where I was taking shower. I BIG TOWN QUESTS BOBBLEHEADS RADAWAY knew there was more to see on that Interestingly, while I was swimming (or BOBBY PINS RADIATION BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL RADROACH day. It was obvious from his stuff, trying not to drown) a thought came CANTURBURY COMMONS RADSCORPION hanging heavy close to the ground, to my mind. If it is freaking open on CHEMS RAIDER CHINESE military RAVEN ROCK that he was a Vietnam veteran, who this side of the changing room, then it CITADEL REPAIR DEATHCLAW RIVET CITY had fought the war 5 times. should be open on the other side of DOGMEAT SCAVENGER it. After all, Michigan Tech is an equal ENCLAVE SCHEMATICS FALLOUT SCIENCE FAT MAN SKILL BOOK FERAL SLAVER FOLLOWER SMALL GUNS GALAXY NEWS RADIO SNEAK GHOUL STIMPAK GREYDITCH SUPER MUTANT HOLOTAPE TALON COMPANY HUNTING RIFLE TENPENNY TOWER JEFFERSON MEMORIAL THE FAMILY KARMA THE PITT LITTLE LAMPLIGHT TRAPS LOCKPICK TRIBALS MEGATON UNDERWORLD METRO V.A.T.S. MIRELURK VAULT MOLE RAT WASHINGTON, DC NUKA-COLA WASTELANDER OASIS YAO GUAI campus to stay enrolled as long as he as their professors. And what could be does go out to parties. “We just don’t can, since he is thought to attract the opportunity provider university. How- more magical than trying to understand want to clean up the mess,” the Uni- ladies. Daily Bull ever, I have yet to see my first V- shock the magic that is behind electricity. It versity responded. and B-shock – for which I feel I am still baffles me that it was a Muggle who EDITOR IN CHIEF ROCKET GRUNT BREAD WINNER There was a short statement from Pot- discovered such a source of power.” So get ready Tech, for the most famous Liz Fujita Yellow Label quite prepared now. Jon “Big O” Mahan Simon Mused ter himself about why he has chosen student that will grace these halls. Get FACULTY MONOPOLY GUY SCRIBE ADVISOR Alec Hamer Stephen Whittaker ... Witches n Such from front. Michigan Tech out of any school in Needless to say, Potter, who was Mug- ready to kill his liver and brain cells, and David !@#$% Olson the Muggle world: “Well, simply put, gle-raised, has spent too much time revel in the joy of Harry Potter. Liz Fujita, Jeremy “Mr. Sunshine” Loucks, Simon Mused, Jon “Big-O” grades to stay enrolled at the University. Mahan, Alec Hamer, John Pastore, Matt Villa, Mary Kennedy, Ruben I’ve heard wonderful things about the in his wizard- Garcia, Benjamin Loucks, Stephen Whittaker, Sam Schall, Frank McGuire, Bryne Judy, Jeremy Moore, Bill Melcher, Kyle Roe, Cameron school. Students seem to be happy Long, Olivia Zajac, Jodhbir Singh, John Earnest, Nathan “Invincible” Potter will be living at an undisclosed ing world, and Miller, and a delicious sammich. and go on adventures every weekend is in for quite ©2010 by the Daily Bull, a non-profit organization. All rights reserved. location off campus, and will be keep- Articles may be freely distributed electronically or on late night talk shows provided credit is given, and that this notice is included. The ing his beloved broomstick under lock in the snow, and sometimes they don’t an awakening Daily Bull reserves the right to refuse any advertisements or guest articles without reason. All opinionated letters sent to the editor remember what it was they did! That (on paper or to [email protected]) will be treated as material to be and key. One could only imagine how when he tries published unless expressly stated otherwise by the sender. Original works printed in the Daily Bull remain the property of the creator, is some strong magic at work to make to understand however the Daily Bull reserves the right to reprint any submissions epic of a broomball stick that Firebolt in future issues unless specifically asked not to do so by the creator. large groups of students not remember If you keep reading this small text, you’ll die from lead poisoning. would become. He will be allowed the “magic” be- The Daily Bull would like to thank the Daily Bull for to use his magical abilities after 5pm on what they themselves did, but can hind the black- buying our own damn printer that this publication recall in great detail what their friends outs. He has is printed on. We would also like to thank the Stu- campus and off campus. The hockey dent Activity Fee for helping to pay for our paper team is already setting up a petition to did. I’m assuming the University offers already signed and toner costs. get him to enchant their net to not al- a class in this type of enchantments, a contract say- Advertising inquiries, QUESTIONS & low any goals in, so they have a chance and it surely seems that most of these ing that he is COMMENTS should be directed to at a decent season for next year.