Expert Review Comments on the IPCC WGIII AR5 First Order Draft – Chapter 10 Comment Chapter From From To To Line Comment Response No Page Line Page 12628 10 I disagree with CCS having a high degree of risk. This needs to be clarified and referenced. Accepted - CCS discussion has been significantly reduced throughout the chapter and is now concentrated in chapter 7 (Energy) 12671 10 I disagree with CCS having a high degree of risk. This needs to be clarified and referenced. comment is duplicate of 12628 16140 10 Very interesting table 10.3. Maybe the process CO2 emissions such as those from cement production could be Rejected - Table 3 is for Non CO2 gases. added in one line, as well as the total energy CO2 for comparison purpose. Or maybe combine with figure 10.3 for a single table ? 2103 10 Throughout chapter, the "EPA 2011" reference as used in the text is a different "EPA 2011" reference as listed in Accepted - due to an editorial problem the references section. The EPA 2011 reference in the text appears to indicate the U.S. EPA Draft Report 430-D-chapter 10 had the reference list of a 11-003, "DRAFT: Global Anthropogenic Non-CO2 Greenhouse Gas Emissions: 1990-2030" August 2011. different chapter. This problem has now been resolved 2105 10 Opportunities to reduce length of chapter: throughout chapter, less text on the services sector featuring tourism. Noted - cf. Response to comment 2279 For example, text on tourism could be reduced by half without sacrificing meaning. 2106 10 Figure 10.6 does not illuminate the understanding greatly, and could be removed for chapter length reduction. Accepted 17526 10 Green City Fragment of comment 17525 17527 10 Environmental and Social Responsibility in an Industrial Cluster Fragment of comment 17525 17634 10 The framing of this chapter, based significantly on the work of Allwood & Cullen is thoughtful and appropriate. Taken into consideration when revisiting Because materials extraction and processing are responsible for a disproportionate share of GHG emissions, it section 10.4 makes sense to take a materials-based perspective. However, some cross-cutting perspectives that capture aspects of industrial GHG emissions should also be presented. For example, emissions from semi-conductor manufacture. Also, the potential leverage provided by information and communication technology to reduce emissions is relevant. 17489 10 The layout is confusing and nonstandard. The format of the table should make it obvious that there are 2 halves ofAccepted - layout has been improved in the table side-by-side. Without such indication, readers will assume (at first) that information in the rows refers to SOD one, single entry. 17491 10 As with table 10.1, the layout is confusing and nonstandard. The format of the table should make it obvious that Accepted - layout has been improved in there are 2 halves of the table side-by-side. Without such indication, readers will assume (at first) that informationSOD in the rows refers to one, single entry. 17493 10 Either fill in the missing value for SF6 (1990) or indicate that it is unavailable and why. Accepted. The information is not available for 1990. Discussions underway on source data for non-CO2 gases (cf. Response to 7719). In the meantime cell has been filled with "N/A". 17499 10 To what does (d) in the Total world row refer? Was part of a footnote in the original source. The Table no longer appears in SOD 17504 10 The explanation for "industrial synergies" should include a mention of geographic proximity as that is a defining Taken into account - figure 10.5 is now feature of this notion. Otherwise there is no difference between "industrial synergies" and recycling. Also removedeleted as the relevant ideas are covered the caption from the original figure. in the intro to 10.4 17516 10 To what regions and what periods do the data in this table refer? Accepted - But table 10.5 has been removed from SOD Page 1 of 91 Expert Review Comments on the IPCC WGIII AR5 First Order Draft – Chapter 10 Comment Chapter From From To To Line Comment Response No Page Line Page 17511 10 Figure very difficult to read in black & white. Noted - the figure has been deleted. The report's figures will be checked by a graphic designer after the SOD stage. 17537 10 What is the column heading for 4th column? Horizontal alignment of entries needs more attention so that Accepted - Section has been revised contents line up where it is appropriate and do not line up where a relationship is not meant to be inferred. Not allthoroughly in SOD and will be further entries in the last column fit the label "Total" Table notes should define acronyms and abbreviations. improved in Final Draft 17513 10 "Specific" needs to be defined or explained (in data legend) Accepted - But figure 10.8 has been removed from SOD 17520 10 To what year(s) does this figure refer? Accepted - But figure 10.9 has been removed from SOD 17485 10 Lines between boxes should indicate directionality, i.e., they should be arrows. Rejected - this was considered but the chapter team agreed that giving directionality to the lines was not desirable. 17487 10 Caption should include interpretative guidance. It should at least say that thickness of lines indicates magnitude Noted - this valuable feedback will be of flow. used in completing the work of publishing this diagram. However, the position within the WG3 report will most likely be changed and the diagram included in one of the framing chapters (chapter 5) 17494 10 Sections in small pie on left not readable Accepted - but figure no longer appears in SOD 17495 10 Define acronyms used in figure in the table caption or a legend. Differences of sections of bars not discernable inAccepted - will consider these black & white. comments when developing final figures with help of a professional graphic designer 7087 10 It would be better to use a more up-to-date figure published by the World Resources Institute that was updated in Noted - this valuable feedback will be 2012. - i.e. Baumert, K., Herzog, T., and Pershing, J. Navigating the Numbers: Greenhouse Gas Data and used in completing the work of International Climate Policy (data updated in 2012). Washington DC: World Resources Institute, 2005 publishing this diagram. However, the position within the WG3 report will most likely be changed and the diagram included in one of the framing chapters (chapter 5) 7088 10 it is incorrect to attribute the land use change to specific sectors (as this figure does). The causes are seldom Noted - this valuable feedback will be easy to identify and often involve multiple drivers. In the words of an FAO report (FAO 2010), "The causes of used in completing the work of deforestation are multiple, complex and vary from location to location. Although deforestation at the global scale ispublishing this diagram. However, the “mainly due to conversion of forests to agricultural land…” (FAO, 2006), the underlying causes are less well position within the WG3 report will most understood. The most significant underlying factors contributing to deforestation are often identified as high likely be changed and the diagram population density and low per capita income (e.g. Uusivuori, 2002; Kauppi, 2006), but this view may obscure the included in one of the framing chapters complexity of the problem. (continued below) (references are shown two lines below) (chapter 5) Page 2 of 91 Expert Review Comments on the IPCC WGIII AR5 First Order Draft – Chapter 10 Comment Chapter From From To To Line Comment Response No Page Line Page 7089 10 (continued from above) The Scenarios Working Group of the Millennium Ecosystem Assessment (2005) reported Noted - this valuable feedback will be that “Ten years of research within the international programme on land use and land cover change of [the used in completing the work of International Global-Biosphere Programme] concluded that neither population nor poverty alone constituted the publishing this diagram. However, the sole and major underlying causes of land cover change worldwide”. The working group cited a meta-analysis of position within the WG3 report will most 152 case studies, which concluded that “The multiple factors intervening in tropical deforestation … make it likely be changed and the diagram particularly difficult to develop generic and widely applicable policies that best attempt to control the process. included in one of the framing chapters Many land-use policies are underlain by simplifications on the drivers of change…. From the results of the meta- (chapter 5) analysis it is clear that any universal policy or global attempt to control deforestation (e.g. through poverty alleviation) is doomed to failure.” (references below) 7090 10 (continued from two previous rows - references for those rows) Noted - this valuable feedback will be -FAO. (2010). Impact of the global forest industry on atmospheric greenhouse gases: FAO Forestry Paper 159. used in completing the work of Rome: United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization publishing this diagram. However, the - FAO. 2006. Global Forest Resources Assessment 2005 – Progress towards sustainable forest management. position within the WG3 report will most FAO Forestry Paper 147. Rome. likely be changed and the diagram - Uusivuori, J.E. 2002. Population, income and ecological conditions as determinants of forest area variation in included in one of the framing chapters the tropics. Global Environmental Change, 12(4): 313–323. (chapter 5) - Kauppi, P.J. 2006. Returning forests analyzed with the forest identity. Washington, DC, USA, National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America - Millennium Ecosystem Assessment. 2005. Ecosystems and human well-being, Vol. 2, Scenarios. Washington, DC, USA, Island Press.