Polyamory: Constructing Relationships Outside of Monogamy by Krista McLuskey Bachelor of Arts in Journalism and Sociology, University of Montana, 1997 A Thesis Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of MASTER OF ARTS in the Department of Sociology Krista McLuskey, 2009 University of Victoria All rights reserved. This thesis may not be reproduced in whole or in part, by photocopy or other means, without the permission of the author. ii Supervisory Committee Polyamory: Constructing Relationships Outside of Monogamy by Krista McLuskey Bachelor of Arts in Journalism and Sociology, University of Montana, 1997 Supervisory Committee Dr. Helga Hallgrimsdottir (Department of Sociology) Supervisor Dr. Steve Garlick (Department of Sociology) Departmental Member Dr. Annalee Lepp (Department of Women‘s Studies) Outside Member iii Abstract Polyamory: Constructing Relationships Outside of Monogamy by Krista McLuskey Bachelor of Arts in Journalism and Sociology, University of Montana, 1997 Supervisory Committee Dr. Helga Hallgrimsdottir (Department of Sociology) Supervisor Dr. Steve Garlick (Department of Sociology) Departmental Member Dr. Annalee Lepp (Department of Women‘s Studies) Outside Member Based on five semi-structured in-person interviews with self-identified polyamorous people, I argue that people construct their relationships from the options they view available to them. Polyamory, the philosophy and practice of ethical and open non- monogamy, became how the five interviewees in my study decided to live out their relationships only after having heard of the term and concept. They found that polyamory answered crisis in their relationships and relationship views for which monogamy could not provide an adequate solution. The in-depth interviews conducted focussed on how polyamorous people envisioned, created, and maintained their multiple, loving relationships. The results speak to how people create their world from what they see around them and the options they feel are available to them. It points to how invisibility of options curtails people from being able to choose a life suited to them. iv Table of Contents Supervisory Committee ...................................................................................................... ii Abstract .............................................................................................................................. iii Table of Contents ............................................................................................................... iv Acknowledgments.............................................................................................................. vi Chapter 1: Introduction ....................................................................................................... 1 Chapter Summary ........................................................................................................... 2 What Is Polyamory? ........................................................................................................ 4 Identity ........................................................................................................................ 5 Chapter 2: Theoretical Framework ..................................................................................... 9 Social Construction ......................................................................................................... 9 Social Construction of Relationships ............................................................................ 11 Heteronormative Monogamy .................................................................................... 14 The Transformation of Intimacy ............................................................................... 16 Cracks in Monogamy ................................................................................................ 20 Construction of Homosexual Relationships.................................................................. 24 Construction of Polyamorous Relationships ................................................................. 28 Language ................................................................................................................... 29 Chapter 3: Literature Review ............................................................................................ 34 Academic Literature...................................................................................................... 34 Historical Related Academic Literature .................................................................... 35 Current Academic Literature .................................................................................... 36 Mass Media ............................................................................................................... 40 Discussion ..................................................................................................................... 44 Chapter 4: Methodology ................................................................................................... 45 The Interview Questions ............................................................................................... 46 Rationale for Procedure ................................................................................................ 47 Sample........................................................................................................................... 48 Polyamorous People Included in Sample ................................................................. 48 Sampling Procedure .................................................................................................. 49 Analysis......................................................................................................................... 50 Reflexivity..................................................................................................................... 51 Ethical Considerations .................................................................................................. 53 Chapter 5: The Interviews ................................................................................................. 54 Participants .................................................................................................................... 54 Amy Lynn ................................................................................................................. 54 Mora .......................................................................................................................... 55 John ........................................................................................................................... 56 Kierin ........................................................................................................................ 57 Anna .......................................................................................................................... 57 Envisioning a New Way to Experience Relationships ................................................. 59 v Creating a New Relationship Form ............................................................................... 66 Maintaining Polyamorous Relationships ...................................................................... 71 Interview Synopsis ........................................................................................................ 84 Chapter 6: Conclusions ..................................................................................................... 87 Social Construction of Polyamorous Relationships ...................................................... 87 Polyamory as a Pure Relationship ................................................................................ 91 Power Relations in Polyamorous Relationships ........................................................... 92 Gender ....................................................................................................................... 93 Number of Partners ................................................................................................... 95 Primary/Secondary Structure .................................................................................... 96 Societal Norms .......................................................................................................... 97 Choice ....................................................................................................................... 98 Directions for Further Research .................................................................................. 101 Bibliography ................................................................................................................... 105 Websites .................................................................................................................. 117 Appendix A: Interview Questions .................................................................................. 118 Appendix B: Consent Form ............................................................................................ 121 Appendix C: Invitation to Participate ............................................................................. 124 vi Acknowledgments Sincere appreciation is extended to all the participants of this research who made its completion possible. In addition, special thanks is given to my supervisor Helga Hallgrimsdottir and to my committee—Steve Garlick and Annalee Lepp. The support