View metadata, citation and similar papers at core.ac.uk brought to you by CORE provided by Helsingin yliopiston digitaalinen arkisto The Nature, Origins, and Consequences of Finnish Shame-Proneness: A Grounded Theory Study Ben Malinen Academic dissertation to be publicly discussed, by due permission of the Faculty of Theology at the University of Helsinki in the Small Hall, on the 17th of April, 2010 at 10 o’clock. UNIVERSITY OF HELSINKI, FINLAND Faculty of Theology Cover picture: Erja Natunen © Ben Malinen [email protected] ISBN 978-952-92-6994-5 (paperback) ISBN 978-952-10-6129-5 (PDF) http://www.ethesis.helsinki.fi Helsinki University Print Helsinki 2010 2 CONTENTS Abstract ...................................................................................................................................... 6 1. Introduction ........................................................................................................................... 9 1.1. Self-Conscious Emotions ................................................................................................ 9 1.1.1. Embarrassment .................................................................................................... 11 1.1.2. Pride .................................................................................................................... 13 1.1.3. Shame and Guilt .................................................................................................. 13 1.2. The Nature of Shame .................................................................................................... 25 1.2.1. Constructive Shame ............................................................................................ 25 1.2.2. Acknowledged, Unacknowledged and Bypassed Shame ................................... 26 1.2.3. External and Internalized Shame ........................................................................ 28 1.2.4. Measures of Shame ............................................................................................. 36 1.2.5. Shame Buttons .................................................................................................... 37 1.2.6. Compass of Shame .............................................................................................. 40 1.2.7. Shame and Cultural Context ............................................................................... 43 1.3. Self-Esteem ................................................................................................................... 45 1.4. Attachment .................................................................................................................... 57 1.5. Perfectionism ................................................................................................................ 62 1.6. Narcissism ..................................................................................................................... 65 1.7. Shame, Religion and Spirituality .................................................................................. 69 2. Methodology ........................................................................................................................ 73 2.1. Aim................................................................................................................................ 73 2.2. Procedure ...................................................................................................................... 73 2.2.1. Grounded Theory Approach ............................................................................... 73 2.2.2. Data and Data Collection .................................................................................... 80 2.2.3. Data Analysis ...................................................................................................... 88 2.3. Credibility of the Study ................................................................................................. 91 2.4. Ethical Considerations .................................................................................................. 92 3. Results .................................................................................................................................. 93 3.1. Conditions and Experiences in Childhood and Adolescence........................................ 93 3.1.1. Unwanted and Unexpected as a Child ................................................................ 93 3.1.2. Separation from Parents ...................................................................................... 95 3.1.3. Participants’ Temperament ................................................................................. 97 3.1.4. Family Situation .................................................................................................. 98 3.1.5. Parents’ Personality and Shame ........................................................................ 100 3.2. Experiences of Neglect, Maltreatment and Abuse ...................................................... 106 3.2.1. Neglect .............................................................................................................. 107 3 3.2.2. Emotional Abuse and Maltreatment ................................................................. 110 3.2.3. Physical Discipline and Sexual and Spiritual Abuse ........................................ 119 3.3. Strategies and Routine Tactics for Coping with Shame ............................................. 121 3.3.1. Substitutional Sources of Love, Care and Security .......................................... 122 3.3.2. Personality Formation ....................................................................................... 125 3.4. Consequences of Shame ............................................................................................. 129 3.4.1. Heightened Interpersonal Subjectivity.............................................................. 129 3.4.2. Shame Expressions and Functions .................................................................... 131 3.4.3. Self-Esteem ....................................................................................................... 141 3.4.4. Attachment ........................................................................................................ 143 3.4.5. Spirituality ........................................................................................................ 145 3.4.6. Psychological Well-Being ................................................................................ 145 3.5. Lack of Gaining Love, Validation and Protection as Their Authentic Self ................ 148 4. Discussion .......................................................................................................................... 150 4.1. Nature of Shame and Shame-Proneness ..................................................................... 150 4.1.1. Phenomenology of Shame ................................................................................ 150 4.1.2. Bodily and Cognitional Signs of shame ........................................................... 150 4.1.3. Shame Buttons .................................................................................................. 151 4.1.4. Shame Reactions ............................................................................................... 151 4.1.5. Self-Monitoring and Interpersonal Sensitivity ................................................. 153 4.1.6. Role Reversal and Parentification..................................................................... 154 4.1.7. Codependency ................................................................................................... 154 4.1.8. The Role of Genes and Temperament in Shame-Proneness ............................. 155 4.2. Origins of Shame-Proneness ....................................................................................... 160 4.2.1. Prenatal Effects and Parents’ availability ......................................................... 161 4.2.2. Family Environment and Poverty ..................................................................... 162 4.2.3. Extrafamilial Factors......................................................................................... 163 4.2.4. Cultural Factors................................................................................................. 164 4.2.5. Parental Factors................................................................................................. 165 4.2.6. Intergenerational Effects ................................................................................... 167 4.2.7. Neglect, Maltreatment and Abuse .................................................................... 169 4.3. Shame Coping and Consequences of Shame-Proneness ............................................ 175 4.3.1. Controlling Emotional Life and Keeping Up Appearances .............................. 175 4.3.2. Submissiveness and Pleasing Others ................................................................ 176 4.3.3. Substitutional Experience of Love, Support and Security ................................ 177 4.3.4. Coping, Competence, and Resilience ............................................................... 178 4.3.5. Self-Esteem ....................................................................................................... 180 4.3.6. Attachment ........................................................................................................ 182 4.3.7.