Northern Michigan University NMU Commons All NMU Master's Theses Student Works 5-2018 wait for it to bloom. Deziree Brown [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://commons.nmu.edu/theses Part of the Poetry Commons Recommended Citation Brown, Deziree, "wait for it to bloom." (2018). All NMU Master's Theses. 535. https://commons.nmu.edu/theses/535 This Open Access is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Works at NMU Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in All NMU Master's Theses by an authorized administrator of NMU Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected],[email protected]. WAIT FOR IT TO BLOOM. By Deziree Aleace Brown THESIS Submitted to Northern Michigan University In partial fulfillment of the requirements For the degree of MASTER OF FINE ARTS Office of Graduate Education and Research April 2018 Abstract WAIT FOR IT TO BLOOM. By Deziree Aleace Brown “wait for it to bloom.” is a poetry collection of free verse poetry that examines black motherhood and womanhood in order to interrogate the sociopolitical implications of black women’s existence in a patriarchal, capitalistic society. Due to the intersections of our identities, black women face a specific type of discrimination that spans both racism and sexism, among other types of discrimination. The healing properties associated with astronomy and mythology are used as entry points to discuss this trauma, while popular culture is used to address these issues that happen daily in the media directly. This consistent bombardment of prejudice, along with our global society’s inability to acknowledge and properly treat mental illnesses, can cause problems with mental health; black women’s ostracization from each of these communities causes an erasure that spans generations, leading many to suffer in silence. Through intentionality in structure with white space, punctuation, and forward slashes, this collection attempts to remedy the plight of the black woman while engaging in a journey of healing and power through language. ii © 2018 Deziree Aleace Brown iii for every black girl stuck in-between moons iv ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS The author wishes to thank their thesis committee, especially Professor Matthew Frank and Dr. Patricia Killelea for their extensive feedback, advice, and support; Northern Michigan University for the Excellence in Education award, which granted time and resources for this thesis; friends, family, and colleagues who took time to discuss and read over various poems in the collection; and Stephanie Johnson for her financial and emotional support. Without the help of these people, this project could not have been completed. This thesis follows the format prescribed by the MLA Style Manual and the Department of English. v TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION .......................................................................................................................... 1 I am tired ....................................................................................................................................... 13 yes, I’m black ................................................................................................................................ 15 what we talk about when we talk out our mouths. ........................................................................ 16 fibromyalgia. ................................................................................................................................. 17 an unfinished summation of anxiety. ............................................................................................ 18 ars poetica. .................................................................................................................................... 19 ode to Drake in _ parts. ................................................................................................................. 20 horoscope: libra, july 2017. .......................................................................................................... 21 are you a boy or a girl, her niece asks, and I turn to smoke, ........................................................ 22 when the guillotine comes from my ovaries, ................................................................................ 23 record 10316. ................................................................................................................................ 24 tacenda. ......................................................................................................................................... 25 ghazal for flint. .............................................................................................................................. 26 record 00002. ................................................................................................................................ 27 times you resembled Zeus the most: ............................................................................................. 28 etymology of aria. ......................................................................................................................... 29 the descent of amara...................................................................................................................... 31 cackler bridge. ............................................................................................................................... 49 what it means to torch the sky: ..................................................................................................... 50 aria, the sunbreaker. ...................................................................................................................... 51 love poem: dezireé. ....................................................................................................................... 52 ode to the walk of shame. ............................................................................................................. 53 sonnet for steven universe. ............................................................................................................ 54 an evaluation of northstar as we hover above the battlefield. ....................................................... 55 for mother #4, who dug me from an ocean floor with bare hands ................................................ 56 ishtar’s redemption........................................................................................................................ 57 ode to olivia pope, the h.b.i.c. ....................................................................................................... 58 reasons why I prefer the Sims over anywhere you tryna be. ........................................................ 59 vi an homage to nigga in two parts. .................................................................................................. 60 this poem doesn’t give a fuck about your expectations. ............................................................... 61 dezireé, the voidwalker, circles the first kill. ................................................................................ 62 I wake my wife with mulberry lips, .............................................................................................. 63 ode to Tone that ends in a revival. ................................................................................................ 64 record 10268. ................................................................................................................................ 65 today, I use my food stamps to fill my apartment......................................................................... 66 You make me want to write love poems, again – ......................................................................... 67 self-portrait as stormcaller. ........................................................................................................... 68 videnda. ......................................................................................................................................... 69 WORKS CITED ........................................................................................................................... 70 vii INTRODUCTION Introduction wait for it to bloom. is a poetry manuscript that focuses on the sociopolitical status of black women in our global society. Split into three sections, this is a journey of healing; a literal “before” and “after” in which the recovery of a black girl’s soul is the centerpiece for forgiving the self. At its core, this thesis manuscript works to unapologetically re-distribute power into the hands of black women while portraying them as multi-faceted, flawed, human beings. Examining Trauma, Abuse, and Intersectionality While every black women’s life experiences will differ, we all share one commonality: trauma. In her womanist text In Search of Our Mother’s Gardens, Alice Walker says that “black women are called… ‘the mule of the world,’ because we have been handed the burdens that everyone else – everyone else – refused to carry” (237). It’s important to note that this is often forced upon black women as a result of misogynoir, a term created specifically to highlight the racism and sexism that black women face. Not only do black women deal with racial issues like police brutality and restrictions on dreadlocks, they also deal with gendered issues, such as the pay gap and white feminism. These consistent trials create an endless wave of trauma