5 Polygamy, wellbeing, and ill-being amongst ethnic Muslim minorities Anika Liversage Introduction Polygamy “is not a single syndrome but is produced by diverse strategies under a range of different conditions and comprises different systems of meaning and function” (White, 1988, p.558). Two main forms of polygamy exist, with polygyny (one husband and two or more wives) being far more common than polyandry (one wife and multiple husbands). Polygamous marriages can be found in Europe, North America, Africa, Asia, the Middle East, and Oceania (Altman and Ginat, 1996), and are most common in West African countries such as Mali. While such marriages exist in many predominantly Muslim countries worldwide, they are gen- erally much less common than their monogamous counterparts (Charsley and Liversage, 2013). In this chapter, the focus is on polygamous (pri- marily polygynous) marriages among Muslim ethnic minorities in north- west Europe, with family backgrounds in the Middle East, North Africa, and South Asia.1 For Muslims, men’s ability to take multiple wives is attributed to the Qur’an, which says: And if you have reason to fear that you might not act equitably towards orphans, then marry from among [other] women such as are lawful to you – [even] two, or three, or four: but if you have reason to fear that you might not be able to treat them with equal fairness, then [only] one – or [from among] those whom you rightfully possess. This will make it more likely that you will not deviate from the right course (Qur’an 4:3, trans- lated Asad, 1980). As the religious prerogative to treat all wives “with equal fairness”,may be considered impossible to fulfil in practice, whether Islam should be considered as sanctioning polygamous marriage in practice is a matter of debate (Abbott, 1962; Mashhour, 2005). The legality of polygamous mar- riages in the Muslim world also varies; in some countries – such as Syria, Iraq, and Jordan – it is restricted through legal provisions such as court Polygamy, wellbeing, and ill-being 79 approval, notification of the first wife, etc. In countries such as Turkey and Tunisia it is illegal (Welchman, 2007). In earlier work with Katharine Charsley, I have investigated how processes of migration may not only bring practices of polygamy from one part of the world into another, but also lead to the development of new forms of poly- gamy (Charsley and Liversage, 2013). New forms may arise due to factors such as changes in gendered and generational hierarchies, secrecy enabled by long distance, and the co-existence of different types of marriage and divorce under civil and religious codes. Based on qualitative interviews with ethnic Muslim minorities in Denmark and the UK, this chapter extends the work in Charsley and Liversage (2013), investigating the links between polygamous marriages, transnational social spaces, and the wellbeing of different family members. As described earlier in this volume, the wellbeing perspective evolved not within migration research but in developmental studies. This perspective conceptualizes wellbeing as dependent on the resources that indi- viduals are able to command and on what they are able to achieve with these resources. Hence, the approach is actor-oriented, focusing on both what needs and goals individuals are able to meet and the meanings they attribute to these needs and goals (White, 2008; 2010). Drawing on White’s understanding of wellbeing as a three-dimensional concept, wellbeing in this volume is understood as comprising three interrelated dimensions: the material, the relational, and the ethical. Another central concept in White’s wellbeing approach is ‘aspirations’– what individuals strive for. While aspirations may be deeply individual, such aspirations are also embedded in cultural frameworks, conditioning what people aspire towards. As Pierre Bourdieu argued, “the level of aspiration of individuals is essentially determined by the probability (judged intuitively by means of previous successes or failures) of achieving the desired goal” (Bourdieu, 1977, p.111). Thus, social structures and unequal power dynamics condition individual aspirations, and these aspirations – whether or not they are achieved – are central to understanding migrant family wellbeing. While wellbeing is an inherently positive concept, White (2010) also points out that inequalities at various levels may prevent both individuals and com- munities from shaping their lives in the desired positive ways. Feminist researchers have long emphasized that the imagery of the family home as a ‘haven’ in a heartless world is typically a male construction, and that women more often than men may experience hard work and even repression and violence within the home (Mallett, 2004). Changes in the last half of the 20th century, such as female entry into the labour market and access to abortion and contraception, have contributed to what has been termed “the crisis of the patriarchal family” (Castels, 1997). Nonetheless, men still often hold more power than women, and “being a man” often entails “claiming privilege [and] eliciting deference” (Schrock and Schwalbe, 2009, p.281). Inequalities in gen- dered power relations are often stronger in traditional breadwinner/home- maker families where women are economically dependent on men. When the 80 Liversage aspirations of such wives do not correspond to their husbands’ views, they may not easily be fulfilled. Furthermore, particularly where norms against divorce combine with an ideology of female ‘sacrifice’ and endurance within marriage, women may remain in marriages that seriously undermine their wellbeing. In such cases, individual ‘ill-being’ rather than ‘wellbeing’ may be at stake (White, 2008; Qureshi, 2013). Adopting the wellbeing approach pro- posed by White and elaborated on in this volume’s introduction, this chapter addresses the following question: How are polygamous practices among Muslim ethnic minorities in Denmark and the UK associated with individual aspirations towards wellbeing in transnational social spaces? The chapter is structured as follows: First, it sketches some of the findings from studies on polygamy and its relation to wellbeing. Second, it explains the underlying empirical material and analytical approach. Third, it presents dif- ferent motivations for polygamous marriages among the interlocutors con- nected to male-only out-migration, family needs such as having children and providing care for a sick family member, and men’s secret desires for addi- tional or alternative female company while still adhering to a cultural and religious prohibition against sex outside of marriage. The analysis shows how these polygamous marriages are enabled by migration and the transnational lives of the involved parties. In particular, I shed light on the ways in which such unions may impact the wellbeing of the women and men in these rela- tionships and how they reinforce or reshape gendered power structures. Polygamy and wellbeing in global context In 1967, George Murdock estimated that while 85% of world societies permitted polygamy, the global incidence of the practice was low (Zeitzen, 2008, p.14). Commonly associated with Islam (Chamie, 1986), polygamous marriage has its highest occurrence in Sub-Saharan Africa. A narrow definition of polygamy involves simultaneous legally sanctioned marriages to more than one spouse, valid according to a given state authority. A broader definition would also include marriages contracted under different systems, whether under the laws of different states or without the impli- cation of a state authority but sanctioned by, for example, religious authorities in given communities. A yet broader definition includes also ‘marriage-like’ domestic arrangements (Zeitzen, 2008, p.17), even when these do not involve legally or religiously sanctioned marriages. In this study, I take a broad approach, including the three above-mentioned defi- nitions of polygamous marriages. Some literature exists on connections between polygamy and wellbeing. One review, concerned with family members’ psychological, social, and family functioning, concludes that “the current state of the research reveals with moderate confidence, a more significant prevalence of mental-health issues in polygynous women as compared to monogamous women” (Shepard, 2013, p.47). While this statement may imply that polygyny promotes the interests of Polygamy, wellbeing, and ill-being 81 men over those of women, a separate review has suggested that levels of wellbeing in polygamous marriages are also lower for children and hus- bands (Elbedour, et al., 2002). Indeed, Slonim-Nevo and Al-Krenawi’s (2006) qualitative research on polygamy among Bedouins in Israel, including an exploration of husbands’ views of multiple marriages, reveals that some men enter second marriages reluctantly. When a man dies, for example, his brother may be under family pressure to marry the widow to keep her children within their father’s family. Other men in the same study regretted having acted on an infatuation that engendered a conflictual family life, with tensions between their two wives. According to the literature, reasons for lower levels of wellbeing in polygamous marriages include strains on resources (due to more family members) and conflicts between co-wives – both of which may lead to family dissolution (Elbedour, et al., 2002). Life in a polygamous marriage may be particularly hard on first wives, who often experience their hus- bands’ second marriages as traumatic (Hassouneh-Phillips,