Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being Episode 62 - Alyson Stoner Embraced Mystery MaShias:( If(you(en0oy(listening(to(4ueerology(then(I need(your(help.(9.re:s(why.(I create( 4ueerology(by(myself(on(a shoestring(budget,(recording(and(ediQng(eAery(episode(in(my( Qny(closet.(How:s(that for(ironyB(Tha2:s(where(you(come(in.(Dill(you(help(Eeep( 4ueerology(on(the(air(by(supporQng(it FnanciallyB(By(Qpping(as(liSle(as(H1(a month(you( can(help(me(improAe(and(Eeep(making(4ueerology(eAery(weeE.(All(you(haAe(to(do(is( 0ump(oAer(to(MaShiasRoberts.com/support to(make(a pledge(and(listen(away.(( ( 9.y(friends,(this(is(MaShias(Roberts(and(you:re(listening(to(4ueerology,(podcast of(belief( and(being.(This(is(episode(62.( Alyson: My(ability(to(see(loAe(in(places(I neAer(was(able(to(sense(or(receiAe(before,(i2:s(0ust eOploded.(And():m(so(grateful(for(that.( MaShias:( Delcome(bacE.(It's(been(a liSle(while,(and(it feels(so(good(to(be(bacE(behind(this( microphone.(This(is(thanEs(to(you.(P:all(stepped(up(to(Eeep(4ueerology(on(the(air(and( we(raised(the(H2,500(a month(and(needed(to(do(so,(and(I am(so(thanEful.(SAer(2T0(of( you(said(yes(to(pledging(monthly,(and(we:re(able(to(Eeep(broadcasQng(a message(of(loAe( and(belonging(all(oAer(the(world(because(of(you.(ThanE(you.():m(so(eOcited(about today:s( episode.(Alyson(Stoner(is(an(accomplished(actress,(dancer,(and(recording(arQst who(is( Enown(for(her(performances(in(blocEbuster(moAie(franchises,(Step(Up,(Cheaper(By(The( DoYen.(9.r(Aoice(oAer(worE(in(TV(shows(liEe(Phineas(and(Ferb,(dancing(in(music(Aideos( for(Missy(EllioS(and(Eminem.(And(then(most recently,(her(new(music.(Earlier(this(year,( Alyson(came(out publicly(Aia her(single,(Dhen(It's(Right,(and(an(essay(in(Teen(Vogue,( sharing(her(0ourney(of(falling(in(loAe(with(a woman(for(the(Frst Qme.(She(gets(into(this(a liSle(bit more(in(this(episode.(Currently,(Alyson:s(hard(at worE(on(new(music.( MaShias:( She:s(set to(release(a new(single(in(January(201_,(and(she(also(remains(acQAe(in(the( AoiceoAer(world,(and(can(be(heard(on(the(Amazon(Prime(series,(Pete(The(Cat,(Disney:s( Milo(Murphy:s(Law.(And(she:ll(reprise(her(role(in(Phineas(and(Ferb(in(January(201_.(I met Alyson(seAeral(weeEs(ago(at a wedding.(Actually,(it was(Tory(and(AleO:s(wedding,(if(you( remember(from(season(one.(They(got married(a few(weeEs(ago.(CongratulaQons(Tory( and(AleO.(And(Alyson(and(I got into(an(incredible(conAersaQon(around(faith(and(seOuality( there.(And(I asEed(her(if(she(would(want to(conQnue(that conAersaQon(here(on( 4ueerology(so(you(all(can(listen(in.(And(here(we(are.(I haAe(no(announcements(this( weeE,(other(than(another(big(thanE(you(for(Eeeping(4ueerology(on(the(air.(So,(le2:s(0ust go(ahead(and(diAe(in.(Alyson,(hi.(Delcome.( Alyson: 9.llo.( MaShias:( ):m(so(eOcited(to(haAe(you(on(4ueerology(today.(ThanE(you.( Alyson: ThanE(you.( E062 - Alyson Stoner Copyright 2018, Matthias Roberts Page !1 of 11! MaShias:( So(to(start,(the(auesQon(that I asE(eAeryone,(how(do(you(idenQfyB(And(then,(how(would( you(say(that your(faith(has(helped(form(that idenQtyB( Alyson: Sh,(the(hot seat.( MaShias:( Peah.( Alyson: Today(I feel(honest in(idenQfying(as(a white(sis(gender(woman.(I don:t feel(comfortable( labeling(my(seOual(orientaQon(or(eAen(my(faith(at the(moment.(bot because():m(afraid(of( the(words(themselAes,(or(being(stereotyped,(but because(there:s(a certain(magic( happening(in(lec/g(the(sediment Eeeps(swirling(in(the(water,(Aersus(forcing(it to(seSle( and(land(somewhere.(And():m(being(so(transformed(because(of(mystery(that I want to( stay(here(for(now.(I seem(to(be(able(to(loAe(beSer,(and(wider,(and(deeper(from(here(for( now.( MaShias:( I loAe(that.(The(idea of(mystery,(because(I thinE(anyQme(...(I feel(liEe(you:re(Eind(of( highlighQng(this.(AnyQme(we(use(labels,(there:s(a certain(certainty(tha2:s(established.( Alyson: Right.( MaShias:( That can(then(make(things(hard,(that mystery(then(somewhat disappears(in(a way.( Alyson: Peah.(And(I would(say,(words(ulQmately(are(merely(symbols(anyway.(They(haAe(the( meaning(we(giAe(them.(I can(say,(this(is(a poor(eOample,(but I can(say,(I hate(you.(But infuse(true(loAe(and(adecQon.(And(if(you(didn:t understand(English,(you:d(feel(the( intenQon(rather(than(the(deFniQon(of(hate.(So,(we(haAe(to(recogniYe(the(silliness(and( friAolousness(of(words(when(we:re(trying(to(describe(incredible(uniAerse.(In(my(opinion,( people,(and(within(the(church(my(eOperience,(we(get hung(up(on(words(and(we(deAelop( somewhat of(a this(or(that.(Dhere(do(you(stand(on(this(topicB(Pes(or(no(checElist approach,(to(Enow(who:s(in(and(out of(the(faith.(And(I mean,():ll(go(od(on(a auicE( tangent.(De(forget that there(haAe(been(hundreds(of(translaQons(and(iteraQons(of(the( Bible,(and(we:re(not necessarily(eAen(pracQcing(the(same(thing(they(were(bacE(in(the( day(anyway.(So,(yes,(we:Ae(got to(respect that mystery(is(wonderful,(and(beauQful,(and( transformaQAe.( MaShias:( My(mind(is(going(to(...(Pou(menQoned(the(Bible,(but that idea of(the(diAine(eod(is( mystery.(And(I thinE(I always(thinE(about that,(if(we(belieAe(this(idea that humanity(is( created(in(the(image(of(the(diAine,(whateAer(that means,(I feel(liEe(we(haAe(to( acEnowledge(that there(is(going(to(be(mystery(present eAerywhere. Alyson: Sh,(yeah.(And(if(you(don:t haAe(the(capacity(or(space(for(all(people,(all(perspecQAes,(all( educaQonal(Aiews,(then(are(you(really(able(to(see(the(diAinity(in(eAery(material(thingB( EAery(material(beingB(And(tha2:s(something(I noQced(0ust oAer(the(last seAeral(years,(my( ability(to(see(loAe(in(places(I neAer(was(able(to(sense(or(receiAe(before.(It's(0ust eOploded.( And():m(so(grateful(for(that.(It's(really(untethered(a lot of,(I guess,(fear(of(otherness,(fear( of(...(I don:t Enow,(anyone(who(is(on(the(outside.(I mean,(what is(the(outside(anywayB( ):m(sorry.(Pou:re(going(to(get to(a point where(you:re(liEe,(oh,(we:re(eOplaining( eAerything(away.(Suddenly(there(is(nothing(lef.(And():m(liEe,(empQness,(we:Ae(arriAed.( The(soul(soothing(empQness.( E062 - Alyson Stoner Copyright 2018, Matthias Roberts Page !2 of 11! MaShias:( Mmghmm(hairmaQAe).(Tha2:s(real(though.( Alyson: Peah,(righ2B(But you(don:t hear(that in(church(sec/gs. MaShias:( No.( Alyson: I mean,(contemplaQon(and(mysQcism(is(liEe(...(Paganism(is(abhord,(and(these(deplorable( people(who(talE(about an(embodied(faith,(and(eod(forbid(we:re(connected(to(our( physical(earth(suit while(we:re(here.(Come(on.(Anyways.( MaShias:( I mean,(yeah.():m(oAer(here(being(liEe,(uhghuh,(uhghuh.( Alyson: But I haAe(to(remember,():m(nerAous(about speaking(so(candidly(right now,(because(liEe(I was(telling(you,(i2:s(been(a long(Qme(since():Ae(had(a public(conAersaQon(about faith(and( spiritual(formaQon.(And(the(mainstream(culture(tends(to(feel(liEe(the(big(Eid(with(the( power.(And(I currently(feel(smaller(because,(my(faith(historically(fell(within(Aery(safe( parameters.(And(now(0ust by(sheer(authenQcity():m(probably(odending(or(scaring( people,(or():m(on(the(fringes,(and():ll(lose(people:s(trust.(But we(haAe(to(talE(about these( things.(And(again,():m(0ust grateful(that you(create(that space.( MaShias:( ):m(curious,(because(you:re(talEing(about this(Eind(of(historical(faith(that you(haAe(held.( Alyson: Mmghmm(hairmaQAe).( MaShias:( And(now(Eind(of(where(you:re(at.(And(I would(imagine,(and(you(haAe(spoEen(about this,( it has(been(a 0ourney.( Alyson: Right.( MaShias:( ArriAing(to(where(you(are(now.( Alyson: Peah.( MaShias:( And(you(conQnue(to(be(a 0ourney,(but ):d(loAe(to(Eind(of(hear(about some(of(that process( of where you'Ae been.( Alyson: SEay.(I would(loAe(to(...():Ae(neAer(actually(teased(this(out.(So,(you:re(in(for(a ride.(I would(loAe(to(Frst point out that I recogniYe(I carry(paSerns(from(my(past family( dynamics,(and(things(outside(of(the(faith,(so(to(speak,(outside(of(the(church,(into(my( relaQonship(with(eod.(Righ2B(So(if():m(a perfecQonist,(then(I become(a ChrisQan( perfecQonist.(And(if(I had(a diicult relaQonship(with(my(father,(then(it was(harder(for( me(to(call(eod,(Dad,(but easier(for(me(to(call(eod,(eod(for(awhile.(UnQl(eod(became(the( father(I thought I was(missing(and(blah,(blah,(blah,(blah,(blah,(blah,(blah.(So(there:s(all(of( those(layers.(Then(of(course(there(are(the(layers(in(hindsight ):m(beginning(to(recogniYe( my(own(geography.(I was(going(to(haAe(a Aery(radical,(eAangelical,(nondenominaQonal( church,(and(things(liEe(don:t eAer(get horiYontal(with(a person(because(you:ll(get pregnant and(die.(And(neAer(wear(clothes(that show(anything(below(the(necE.(So,(really( conserAaQAe,(eAen(though(they(would(tell(you(that they(were(proAocaQAe(and( progressiAe.(DhateAer(that means.(And(so,(oAer(Qme():ll(also(say(it got tethered(in(with( E062 - Alyson Stoner Copyright 2018, Matthias Roberts Page !3 of 11! my(entertainment bacEground.(There(was(almost a showmanship(and(a performance( that I thinE(many(ChrisQans(can(relate(to.( Alyson: But,(being(in(the(public(eye,(I couldn:t truly(be(Aulnerable(with(things(I was(wrestling( with.(I had(to(Eind(of(become(almost the(public(Fgure(and(face(for(young(ChrisQans.(I was(asEed(to(speak(at congregaQons(before(I was(eAen(spiritually(mature,(0ust because(I was(a child(star(in(Hollywood.(And(I haAe(these(Aery(interesQng(eOperiences(of( recognizing(how(the(ChrisQan(culture(is(actually(really(rekecQAe(of(consumerism,(and( capitalism,(and(commercialism,(indiAidualism,(all(of(these(ideologies,(and(concepts,(and( constructs(that I now(haAe(words(for,(thanEfully.(But in(the(moment felt liEe,():m(simply( using(my(plalorm(for(Christ.(And():m(called(to(do(this,(that,(and(the(other.(And(anyQme(I fail,(i2:s(because(Satan(has(a