APRIL 15–APRIL 28, 2021 ISSUE #380 THE INKWELL Bryce Parks Publisher & Everything Else [email protected] Kristina Nesteby Design & Layout [email protected] Mike Ironside Nightlife [email protected] Lisa Stevenson Advertising [email protected] 563-580-1691 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS COVER Gwen Beatty 14 Julien Dubuque International Good Advice Film Festival [email protected] Celebrating JDIFF’s 10-year anniversary on April 18–25 in Dubuque Matt Booth 18 Vintage Torque Fest Mattitude Dubuque’s largest live music festival [email protected] disguised as a car show on April 30 and May 1 at the Dubuque County Fairgrounds Sara Carpenter DIY Advice Photo: General Bob Felderman [email protected] Models: Liz Smith and Tim Buchholtz Truck: Owned by Mackenzie Miles Danny Fairchild Dining & Horoscopes FEATURES [email protected] 11 DuMA: A Place for Friends Bob Gelms Old and New Bob’s Book Reviews 12 Virtual Events at Heritage Center [email protected] 13 Kids’ Summer Camps & Activities Pam Kress-Dunn 17 Upcoming Events at Five Flags Columnist [email protected] SECTIONS Sunil Malapati 4 Events Dining [email protected] 11 Arts 20 Nightlife Sara Eliot Steuer Feature Writer 24 Columnists [email protected] WHERE’S WANDO? SPECIAL THANKS We’ve hidden Wando somewhere in this issue of Christy Monk, Gina Siegert, Julien’s Journal, 365ink. Can you fi nd him? Fran Parks, Gen. Bob Felderman, Ron & Jennifer Tigges, Dave Haas, Rich Belmont & Margie Blair, Mike Damaso, Paul Gilligan, 365ink Magazine Paul & Sandy Meyer, Coco the offi ce dog, 432 Bluff St, Dubuque, IA 52001 Wesley Cat, Copper Kettle’s Seared Sesame 563-588-4365 Tuna Bowls, all of our 365ink friends and [email protected] advertisers… and you for reading. Dubuque365.com Facebook: @Dubuque365 Instagram: @365ink All contents © 2006–2021, Community Incorporated. All rights reserved. All bacon served semi-crispy. 2 365INK MAGAZINE APRIL 15–APRIL 28, 2021 ISSUE #380 DUBUQUE365.COM too requires an internet connection. It’s like a hole-in-the- wingtip Oxford shoes. Then again, going biblical with the bucket scenario, only all of the steps involve the bucket. dress code would not have been much better, even if Jesus There are even some programs/apps that do not run was a carpenter. Well played, Mennonites. Well played. live from the internet but for some reason require that And, as if it was even a question, they work fast, efficiently, live connection in order for you to proceed using the and as a team. They had that roof off, prepped, replaced app. Why? GRRRRR!!!! I could easily spin off here into with gutters and all, and cleaned up in a day and a half. I You don’t really even think about how reliant you are on WiFi a complaint about how most computer operation sys- think it took a rather disheveled crew of six about two weeks, these days until you don’t have it. For some reason, the inter- tem updaters really only seem to be an excuse to take bisected by a Thanksgiving break, to get my roof on a few net at the office has been out for two days, so we are working features that were once free and turn them into billable years back. It was a pathetic, lackluster performance to say off the hotspots from our phones. I swear to God that with my features. Congratulations! You’ve been upgraded, sucker! the least. This, after the guy who sold me the roof said he’d upgrade to the iPhone 12 that they downgraded the hotspot And I’m just lazy enough not to go home and work, get his “A-team” on it. Yeah, right. I think mine was put on by to about 2400 baud speed (Ask your dad what that is). because I know I’d be even lazier there. So here I sit, with the people from the table at the wedding that no one wants I found myself in a waking fever dream from the early one digital arm tied behind my back, trying to get work to sit at. So I’m glad that that crappy roofing company went 2000s, before the days of easily and harmlessly straying done like it was the year 2000. It’s equivalent to having out of business. Where were these guys when I needed them? into rabbit holes on the internet and social media to watch a broken key on your computer so each time you want to The most curious thing about the whole operation was the videos of cats or to follow clickbait to dumb stories that do type a letter “r” you have to instead paste one in. Yeah, you fifth guy. He was not Mennonite. He was clearly the driver. not even contain the topic that was featured in the photo can do it that way and maybe even get fast at it, but that Since they don’t use automobiles, I guess it stands to reason you clicked on to learn about (a rant for another time). doesn’t mean you have to like it. Fortunately for us all back that they needed a ride to the site. Now, I guess he may have You know, back before you could click with fast reckless in 2000, we didn’t know at the time that we were wading had duties that I didn’t see happen. Maybe the whole opera- abandon. Do you remember the days of actually having through quicksand every time were online. It was the fastest tion belongs to him and he plans it all out or something. But such slow internet that you had to contemplate whether we ever saw “AND WE LIKED IT” (screams an old man)! from my nosy neighbor roost, I saw four guys in straw hats or not it was going to be worth your time to wait for that But now, we’ve tasted the “good stuff” and going back to working their butts off and one guy in jeans and a t-shirt page to load to see what it was? Did I care enough about bargain brand just isn’t cutting it. Sorry, Soni with an “i.” with his seat reclined back and taking a nap in the pickup. that link to dedicate extra seconds or minutes for the Next topic… and the other end of How do I get THAT job? I stopped home later at lunch, and page to load? That was a real thing. Anyone remember the technology spectrum. all the guys were eating in the truck together, and when I those halcyon days of the World Wide Web? When’s the My neighbors had a new roof put on their house and left a little later, they were back at it, and he was once again last time you even read the phrase “World Wide Web?” garage this week, and the work was being done by a group reclined back and snoozin’ away. There are many possible I’ll bet a bunch of you are right now thinking, with a of four Mennonite men (no, there is no punchline coming). things I don’t know about in this scenario to play judge, but sour expression, “Oh yeah, I forgot all about that!” Well, so Well, there were five men, but I’ll get to that later. It was as a glossed-over look at everything, it just seems like such did I. What kind of third-world nightmare would we live in kind of fascinating to watch them work, mainly because a reflection of America these days. One guy doing the bare if the videos we clicked didn’t start playing immediately? of the straw hats and work clothes that looked anything minimum in order to fulfill a specific designated role and no Tragic! That’s been my existence today. And honestly, I’m but comfortable for crawling around on a roof. But I get more, while surround by others doing all the heavy lifting. not sure if my productivity has gone down because of the that part of the whole deal, so do your thing boys! I wonder who in this picture makes the most money? And slowness of my connection or sped up because I can’t go I wonder if there is a specific year at which they, as a maybe I’m the A-hole in this whole setup because I’m not jumping down digital rabbit holes right now, keeping me community, decided “this is it!” This is the level of fash- understanding the bigger picture. All I have is the evidence on task instead. It may be a wash, thus proving why it is ion that we are keeping from here on out. It seems pretty of my eyes and ears, and it sure seems like a weird scenario. that, despite massive leaps forward in technology, we still utilitarian if not flexible, so their timing, at least, seems to See, you learned nothing today, but at least I didn’t seem to manage to get nothing done most of the time. be prudent for making the pledge. Can you imagine any get political despite having a mounting of stuff to get The fluidity with which you depend on being “con- decade since about 1950 where there was a fashion trend ornery about. Oh, and with this issue, 365ink is back nected” hits home when you literally finish cussing out that would work across time like that? Imagine men in ‘80s to biweekly publication, so you can look for another the lack of connection on one task, so you turn to another skinny jeans, pinstripe ties, and fluorescent blazers up there new issue on April 30 instead of starving it out a whole task, completely spacing out the fact that this next task trying to rip off shingles.