Film Games German cinema Am vel exer ipit dit Thewisl future? page 13 page 6 page 4 page 10 e student newspaper of Imperial College No. 1,379 • Friday • 11 May 2007 • ffelixelix felixonline.co.uk Queen’s Lawn off-limits for six months College erects largest marquee ever put up on campus to occupy the Queen’s Lawn until October at the earliest Andy Sykes between 11 May and 8 June, for ex- Above: students lazing about on Editor-in-chief ample) where the marquee could the grass during the summer have been disassembled so stu- in previous years. Below: the The Queen’s Lawn will be unusable dents and staff could use the lawn. colossal marquee by staff and students until at least The College has indicated that it October, as the College have decid- will be looking for external book- ed not to disassemble the marquee ings, no doubt using the prestige that provides extra function space of the institution to attract a sub- for events during the summer term stational fee. So far, nine external and beyond. bookings have been provisionally In previous years, the lawn has booked, with more likely to follow; seen marquees be put together and these will occupy the marquee for a taken apart as needed, allowing total of 23 days. students to use the grass during The marquee has already caused the stressful exam period for some some problems for students: Dram- well-needed relaxation in pleasant Soc, who had planned to put on a weather. This year, however, the play on the lawn during this term, marquee (which occupies almost are now restricted to the small strip the entirety of the lawn) will remain of lawn facing the Sir Alexander in place throughout the summer Fleming Building. term and into the start of the next The Lawn is one of the last green academic year. spaces available to staff and stu- The reason for this change in pol- dents at the College; Princes Gar- icy is that the College has a number dens, once a gorgeous leafy retreat, of Centenary events planned be- has been reduced to a shadow of its sides the usual functions, such former glory by the nearby building as the Summer Ball (renamed to works on Southside, and the loss of the Centenary Ball this year). The the bar there. marquee has been trumpted by the One positive aspect of the mar- College’s press department as the quee is that it will provide covered largest ever assembled on campus; space for next year’s Freshers’ Fair, Sir Richard even saw fit to mention something that was sorely lacking its majestic proportions at his grad- this year due to the Beit building uation address in the Great Hall on redevelopment. Wednesday. The last event using the marquee The College has internally booked is on the 25th of October, and the events planned until 25th October; College have said it will not be dis- there are, however, large gaps be- mantling it until December, at which tween some events (almost a month point the lawn will be re-turfed. 2 felix Friday 11 May 2007 NEWS [email protected] This week’s stories UNITE halls left What little has been happening while you’ve been revising without Internet Felix last week First up, an apology from us. Felix Andy Sykes support, but during the ‘upgrade’ didn’t go out last week, for a number numerous students have had their of reasons, including an editor on The already dubious Internet con- network port blocked by the ISP leave for personal reasons, and a nections supplied in the £130-a- due to ‘suspect virus infections’ serious shortage of staff (due to week Unite halls across London which we can only assume they exams and other reasons). We’re went down for almost an entire are using as one of the excuses as sorry; it won’t happen again. week during crucial revision time to why their ‘40x faster than dialup’ for some unlucky students at either internet connections were going Who will be the next rector? Orient House or Piccadilly Court. slower than a 1980s modem. Sir Richard Sykes, the current rec- Angry students could be heard Some frustrated residents of the tor of the College, will be departing screaming with rage at the pain- Unite halls claimed to be “losing at the end of next year. However, his fully slow connections and multiple the plot and were considering de- replacement is due to be announced timeouts whilst trying to access stroying their PC’s” they were so in July, and rumours abound about past papers of lecture notes to re- aggravated by u-want, although who will replace Sir Richard as vise for impending exams. other students seemed to see the head of the ninth-best university in The fact that both halls are at brighter side claiming “At least I’m the world. least 40 minutes travel away from not wasting all my time looking on Initial rumours that had been college made it all the more frus- Facebook instead of working for my circulated to Felix suggested that trating for students who have few exams”. Lord Browne, the now departed lectures this term (and therefore Incidentally, connections in Unite chief executive officer of BP, might no reason to be in college), and who halls costs £27 a month for a 2Mbit, be offered the post. However, you take the sensible decision to revise port-restricted connection with a cannot fail to have noticed Lord in their rooms rather than the 30-de- maximum of 3 devices allowed per Browne recently suffered a horren- gree library. They are encouraged user (Imperial students don’t pay dous fall from grace; an injuction Southside construction delayed? by their departments to download this directly but it is unknown if was denied on printing details about course material from the Imperial the £130 a week rent incorporates his private life, which revealed that College website for revision, as well the cost of internet). Compare this he had been involved in a four-year mentioned is Professor Sir David of available accomodation. as check emails at least twice a day to Be-Broadband who offer 24Mbit, homosexual relationship with a Ca- King, the current Chief Scientific Felix reported last term on how in case of important information re- unrestricted access for £24 a month, nadian, Jeff Chevalier, and had lied Advisor to the government. King the twin rooms in the building are garding tutorials, exams or revision or even other Imperial College halls to a judge about how he had met Mr is an outspoken supporter of the too small for habitation by two stu- classes. who are directly connected to the Chevalier. IPCC’s findings on global warming, dents, but it now seems that they Connectivity has now been re- ICT network for free (~10Mbit). You Lord Browne has also accepted and has called climate change “one will be used as doubles (despite be- stored in Unite halls according to don’t need a maths PhD to work out “moral responsibility” (avoiding of the greatest challenges facing ing the size of some single rooms in u-want (the Unite ISP) technical who’s getting ripped off. any notion of legal responsibility) the UK today”. other halls). for an explosion at a Texas oil re- A working group was formed by In related news, plans to rede- finery which killed 15 people and in- the Union to be a forum for discuss- velop Eastside (Linstead Hall) in jured 180 more. The Mail on Sunday ing what kind of rector the students a similar fashion to Southside, us- revealed that the company, under would like next, but this has come ing the same prefabricating tech- Browne’s directions, had placed an to naught. It is unlikely that the Col- niques, may be put on hold as the ‘accounting value’ of £10m on an lege will take any notice of student cost of the project has become employee’s life. demands on this front, and that in- prohibitive. So, if not Browne, then who? Felix stead the process of selecting the hears that the College management next rector will remain completely Imperial 3rd in Guardian ranking would prefer someone with more of opaque. Imperial has been placed overall an academic background than Sir third in the Guardian’s ranking of Richard, who spent most of his life Southside delays UK universities, despite surveys working for GlaxoSmithKline as a Felix has learnt that full opening showing the College suffers from businessman. In fact, Sir Richard’s of Southside is likely to be delayed poor student satisfaction ratings. style was initially criticised as “too until the end of October, which may The Guardian rankings include business-like”, with the rebrand- cause problems for the hordes of data from the National Student ing of 2003-4 perceived as him at- incoming freshers. The College is Survey; Imperial was rated the low- tempting to mould the College into relying on Southside to be complete est out of the top 35 institutions. a business. in time for the start of the year, as it Reasons cited include poor teach- The name that Felix has heard is currently suffering from a dearth ing and extremely high workloads. Do u want it? Tough, it doesn’t work very well felix 1,379 Friday 11.05.07 Plus ça change Tootsie Roll “Channel 4’s recent broadcast of “Hearing that the mighty Bugged Martin Durkin’s “The Great Global Out were planning a super Warming Swindle” demonstrated awesome mega Ed Bangers party admirably that the media has little in some sort of underground car issue with generating controversy park near Old Street I couldn’t purely to serve its own purposes, possibly resist the temptation to even if those responsible for go and check it out.” the content have a history of PAGE 13 complaints upheld against them by the Independent Television CENTRE PAGES Off the rails Commission.” “I tell you what – I’m kind of glad PAGES 4 & 5 we have digital watches.