Brandi Carlile Talks Before Local Gigs Holland Hearings Show Need for Protections Family, Students Live and Grow Together KATY PERRY The Gay Q&A PrideSource.com JULY 5, 2012 | VOL. 2027 | FREE 2 BTL | July 5, 2012 www.PrideSource.com 7.5.2012 Cover story Opinion 15 | The many dimensions of Katy Perry 8 | Viewpoint - Michelle E. Brown Pop star talks new 3D film, kissing gay boys Message from a Month of PRIDE: The Five Things and fighting hate with “love bullets” Photo: Paramount Pictures 9 | General Gayety Auf Wiedersehen Little Hero News 10 | Heard on Facebook Your reaction to Anderson Cooper 4 | An Exchange Opportunity coming out of the closet. Students, Host Family Learn and Grow 10 | S/he Said 5 | Holland Hearings Demonstrate Need Celebrities, Journalists Oreos for Protections 11 | Parting Glances 6 | LGBT groups ‘extremely pleased’ Pages past tense #15 with Supreme Court decision 12 | Creep of the Week 6 | Group resigns en masse from Mormon Chuck Norris church 7 | Tough Fight Ahead for Openly Life Gay Candidate Trevor Thomas 17 | Hear Me Out Maroon 5’s latest album is ‘Overexposed’ and 7 | Palmer Park to Host Hotter Than July overproduced. Plus: Justin Bieber grows up 7 | Lawmaker Backs Spousal Benefits 20 | Cool Cities: Royal Oak for Military Gays “Jersey Boys” vocal group performs songbook 9 | Still Coming Out After All These Years 22 | Brandi Carlile kids around Singer on new album and how “where you stand 12 | CDC trying out free AIDS out most is exactly where you’re needed” tests at drugstores 24 | Happenings 13 | Parents of webcam spying victim learned Featured: Eshel from July 5-8 from trial 25 | Summertime blues? ‘Resort’ to ‘On 13 | Minnesota Sets New Marriage Amendment Golden Pond’ Ballot Title 13 | Maine gay marriage coalition fundraising Rear View tops $1M 27 | Horoscopes 13 | Police Protect Gay Pride rally in Bulgaria 28 | Puzzle 13 | Madrid March Aims to Uphold Gay 29 | Classifieds Marriage Rights 31 | Cocktail Chatter 14 | Ruth Ellis Center Youth Exhibition at MOCAD JOIN THE CONVERSATION @ Get breaking news updates. Email your op–eds and letters to Follow us @YourBTL [email protected] Receive our E–Digest – just sign up Chat on our FB Fan Page. Search today online “Between The Lines Newspaper” www.PrideSource.com July 5, 2012 | BTL 3 BY KATE OPALEWSKI and a three-to-four page application is submitted by the host family with When asked why gay couples photos of their home. A volunteer should host exchange students, Ryan visits the home to do a walk-through Carron-Smith said, “Why shouldn’t and conducts an informal interview they?” Together with Tom Carron- to get to know the host family better. Smith, his partner of 13 years, they Once paperwork is processed and have hosted 11 exchange students at a successful background check is their home in Clawson over the last complete, host families are given seven years through the International access to the ASSE website (www. Student Exchange Program, ASSE. asse.com) to begin their search for “This year was very different for us an exchange student. Potential host as our Czech Republic student came families are able to Facebook, e-mail out to us,” said Tom, about Lukas and Skype with the students so they Filippi, who came to the U.S. in early can share their stories and experiences. September last year – a day after their It’s easy to make a connection when second student, Paolo Paganotto, you have things in common, which is arrived from Italy. why Ryan and Tom prefer to host male The couple decided to serve as hosts students. But that wasn’t the case when more than 25 years after Ryan’s own they first started hosting. “We just exchange student experience. In 1986, naturally assumed they wouldn’t place he traveled to Germany, where he lived boys with us. We began hosting only for a year with a local family, attending girls because we felt they would feel high school. safer knowing that we would never be “Years have gone by and we’ve a threat to their sexuality,” said Tom. found it’s something we do well That changed four years ago when together,” said Ryan. And while there ASSE insisted they host a boy from are many factors to consider when France who has a gay father. “The becoming a host parent, the one factor organization felt it was the right that should never be an issue, the placement. We hesitated, but after couple insists, is being gay. that experience, we realized we have It was Filippi’s father’s idea for more in common with boys, we get Lukas to participate in the program. along better with boys, and obviously “He always wanted to go to the U.S. An Exchange Opportunity nothing was happening. It is easier and it was his dream for his sons to and more fun. We could watch sports go there,” said Filippi, who is now together, visit the theater together, addicted to brownie mix as a result and even help them through dating of his visit here. “Before coming, Family, Students Live and Grow Together issues. We don’t have to watch chick honestly, I was terrified because I flicks and they’re just more relatable,” said Ryan. hadn’t told my parents at the time that a family happens at the dinner table, “We thank God that he came out State Department, all international According to Pat Juhl, the ASSE I was gay. And this meant I had to go according to the couple, where they to his parents before he came here. students have to be OK with living Michigan coordinator, Ryan and Tom through the whole process that if I go have a family meeting at the same time We did not want to appear to be the with an LGBT couple, to ensure have proved themselves time and time - I didn’t even know what to say. This each night. That’s where the “contract cause of his ‘gay-ness,’” said Tom, everyone feels comfortable, including again. “They are really good parents stressed me.” for life” was signed by both parties who admits he isn’t sure he handled the parents. and they absolutely love doing this. Although hesitant, Filippi before Filippi and Paganotto started it as well as he may have wanted to. They are under the same scrutiny as courageously came out to his vocal their year at Clawson High School. Thinking back to how things were in other host families. It doesn’t always teacher first and then to his parents. the 70’s and 80’s, Tom remembers The process work out for some host families, but “We went through the process of when people were cruel. “I was “My dad received a call from ASSE their reports are always stellar,” she thinking if this was the right decision Family rules afraid that he would experience the that a family chose me. He didn’t want said, adding that ASSE suggests non- if I’m gay and I’m going to a gay same cruelty.” “Our family rules are not as stringent to tell me because he didn’t approve traditional families host a minimum of family. Is that really awesome or Ryan has experience parenting his as other host families, but we lay out of his son being placed with a gay two students so an individual student is that a horrible thing? We weren’t own daughter Jenna Cashion-Smith the basics for them. No drinking, no couple,” said Paganotto, who Ryan and doesn’t feel isolated. “In each case, the sure. Then we didn’t know if we who visits during the summer months. smoking, no drugs, that kind of thing. Tom greatly appreciate for his culinary students have a wonderful year. Ryan should write them that I’m gay, But he was afraid too. “I say bravo for We stress the rules of the organization, skills and the many pasta dishes and Tom have extended family all over because we didn’t know who they you, but there are things you have to which informs them that they need to they’ve enjoyed. “We don’t really the world now. The school has said are going to be, so my father and I consider. I thought thank God he is adjust to the family life when they know any gay people. Nobody really nothing but good things to say about laughed at the time, but he came up doing it early, but what kind of support come here. We pretty much let them comes out in Italy because we have the the students and about Ryan and Tom. with the idea. It’s ridiculous now. If system is he going to have? He’s in go to do their own thing,” said Tom Pope and we have the church…that I can’t see that they would ever quit.” one of them fell in love with me,” a foreign country living with two to adding that the students come with kind of stuff. It’s kind of scary. I don’t Filippi and Paganotto graduated in said Filippi. “My father had this three strangers. The first thing we their own money to spend, but he and know anybody who is out. But my dad June and returned to their countries whole process after I came out. He decided as a group after retreating for Ryan have made sporadic shopping told my mom and my step-mom and shortly after. It is the “greatest” and had to catch up.” a little bit is that Lukas would have to trips to Sam’s Club and Costco to buy they told him he has to tell me.