tHIS IS THE NEW ONE. FREE Sedgefield6500 COPIES EVERY Knysna FORTNIGHT Wilderness George P O BOX 1424 SEDGEFIELD 6573 The Edge Building, 63 Main Road TEL: 044 343 2415 FAX: 086 695 8936 CELL: 072 516 4701 Email: [email protected] THE Business cards and flyers, booklets and brochures, labels and posters. Black and white and colour. Issue 533 www.edgenews.co.za 7th March 2018 Why not call us for a quote or email [email protected] TIME TO ‘TUFFEN UP’ If it’s short run we do it here, if it’s bulk we get it done for you. Local athlete Danielle Williams gives the Tortoise Tuff Trail Run her vote of approval. Picture by Luana Laubscher Yes, this Saturday Sedgefield will once again be ‘over-run’ by athletes from all over the country as they descend on the village to take part in the 2018 Tortoise Tuff. Thanks to kind sponsorship from Knysna Municipality, Sedgefield Pick’nPay and Total Sedgefield, there’s no doubt that ALL the participants will once again give this popular event the ‘thumbs up’ . If you haven’t entered any of the races yet (there’s a 30km road run, a 21km trail run, a 10km road run / walk and a fun run) then be sure to head down to the school on Friday between from 17h00 to 19h00. (See back page for full details) COUPLE ROBBED IN THEIR ISLAND HOME Sedgefield grapevine has been males wearing dark clothes, lives the lady resident frantically quickly realised something was abuzz with the news of a balaclavas and gloves, stormed pointed towards the kitchen amiss. As they came across to robbery on The Island last into the room, and jumped on top where she had put her handbag investigate, the attackers heard Friday evening, in which two of them, roughing them up down earlier. Meanwhile at least them and, after snatching up senior citizens of Sedgefield whilst trying to smother them by one other man had entered the goods including the TV the were assaulted in their own blocking their noses and mouths. room – the couple were so DSTV decoder, a laptop and the home. Barely able to breathe, the disorientated at the time - they handbag, managed to escape terrified Sedgefielders couldn't believe there could have been a into the darkness. It happened around 9pm on shout for help, even when one of Friday 2 March, when the couple fourth. the men attempted to pull the When the neighbours found the (names withheld at their request) rings off the female. Fortunately, at the start of all the totally distressed man and were watching TV in bed with commotion, the couple's dog had woman, they immediately their small dog lying nearby. The men themselves remained run out of the room into the alerted the police, whose Their bedroom's exterior sliding totally quiet during the attack on garden, and started barking response time was swift. In a door was open to allow the cool the couple, until one whispered frantically. This raised the alarm short while the area was night air in. Suddenly two adult “MONEY”. Fearing for their with people living nearby who cordoned off and once the SAPS members had ensured the couple's safety, a thorough investigation was launched. To date, no arrests have been made, but it is hoped that there will soon be results. Whilst still recovering from the chas shock and minor injuries resulting from this ordeal, the traumatised senior citizens have asked us to please extend their heartfelt thanks to their neighbours for coming to their aid and SAPS for their speedy Sedge Brewery response. They have also been so appreciative of all their family, for R220 or R320 f r i e n d s , a n d t h e e n t i r e Sedgefield Community for all the love, prayers, assistance and support. They hope that through their own dreadful experience, other residents will be alerted to the importance of keeping doors closed and locked at all times, even when at home. really don’t want to scare y’all, but there’s a chance I Imay mysteriously disappear in the next few days….. No. This is NOT fowl play (with apologies to the missing Mosaic Guinnea@thecircle). And it’s certainly not an attempt to get out of paying all those outstanding bar tabs (I wish all our local tavern-keepers would stop feeling they have to remind quickly, and densely, by simply chainsaw on wood to commence. me. Every. Time. I. Walk. In. The. absorbing ‘soil nutrients’. No. Door. It really does get F o r m i n u t e s n o t h i n g battering (and I’m not talking I’m convinced The Hedge happened…. embarrassing, especially when breadcrumbs here) of Mrs Ed’s actually eats things too. REAL there are other patrons sitting c o l o n - c u r d l i n g c u l i n a r y things. Live things. Warm Fearing the worst, not to mention around. Some of them have even catastrophes for 9 678 days (not blooded things with babies discovering a second aversion - stopped buying me drinks…. that I’m counting), I can proudly this time to cramped, dark Sigh.) report that I have developed the It started small. Every now and spaces, I put my head out and constitution of a shipwrecked then the peace of early evening listened. That’s when I heard the Neither am I planning to embark would be shattered by the on my exceptionally brilliant, hyena and could probably both whimper that made my blood run swallow and digest a sizeable strangled cry of an unsuspecting cold…. patent-pending ‘CLAWAD*’ waxbill, seconds after it flew into Plan (*Claiming Life Assurance Uranium and Plutonium “Sir! Sir!” omelette without so much as a the undergrowth…. Or the Without Actually Dying). I’m sharply severed squeak of a Convinced there would be afraid to say, there is still a little tummy rumble, never mind one of Mrs Ed’s lethal quiches. wayward rodent, caught nothing to see but the soles of tweaking to be done for this. unawares whilst desperately poor old Frans’ feet disappearing Though I am pretty much sorted But I digress. Where was I? Oh trying to scurry home to its into the foliage, I bravely sent GUINEA COMES HOME with the Feigned Death part of yes – possibly disappearing. family…. Mrs Ed out to investigate. She the plan (my home-made returned white as a sheet. The Masithandane Mosaic Team is delighted with the return parachute is packed and ready “But disappearing where?” you And then there was Barbie- yesterday of the mosaiced Guinea Fowl, which was stolen from its and only the small detail of ask…… (thank you for caring) Daisy Froo-Froo Hippety “Is he alive?” I stammered. ‘Sedge Circle’ family at the end of October last year. The larger- finding someone who will allow Hopsickle, my daughter’s pet “Yes,” she whispered, “But the than-life missing bird’s location was discovered quite by chance... me to drive their convertible In The Hedge. chainsaw has disappeared. He dwarf rabbit. One moment he According to Jacky Weaver of Masithandane, when a lady recently Porsche on a windy, coastal says he’s looking for it, but he was seen happily hopping (as visiting Sedgefield came across the four other Guinea Fowls at Sedge road with sheer drops of at least Yes. It may sound like a Steven can’t understand because he left would be expected) towards the roundabout, she innocently remarked that she had seen a very similar 75m to the crashing waves below King horror novel, but it right there…. Next to The hedgerow, and the next…? one in Mossel Bay, outside the Viking Fisheries complex. Petricia needs to be finalised), I am sometimes fact is stranger than Hedge.” fiction – so they say. Pieterse of the Mosaic Team heard about this, and between her and struggling with the section I hope he’s in hopping Heaven.. I couldn’t contain myself any Jacky they started making ‘clandestine’ enquiries. entitled ‘Keeping Mrs Ed’s The Hedge. Don’t laugh. It’s a And as The Hedge has grown, so longer. Bursting out of the door meaty mitts off the money whilst real danger I tell you! I swear the Once the Guinea’s identity was confirmed photographically by a friend has its appetite. Once we had a onto the lawn, I screamed. I spend the obligatory six months other day it grabbed me around of Jacky’s, off she went to Mossel Bay. On arrival at Viking Fisheries, mole problem. Huge Mole hills “DON’T GO IN, FRANS, hiding, growing a big beard, the ankle as I was opening the she told them the story of the stolen bird, which took them quite by appearing all over the garden for DON’T GO IN!!!” losing 45kg, cultivating front gate… surprise. They explained shoulder-length, curly locks of weeks….until the last one, that a group of teenagers which was in spitting distance of But the poor fellow was nowhere s u n - b l e a c h e d h a i r a n d It’s our own fault, I suppose, had given it to a staff The Hedge. to be seen. I was too late. perfecting a Norwegian accent.’ because we have let it grow at its member of the complex, who had thought its brightly Because I know she’ll just spend own pace, unchecked, for far too No More Mr Mole.