OBSERVER Vol. 99 No. 17 February 19, 1992 Page 1 Budget Blues Michael Poirier Page 2 SJB Guidelines Passed Two clarifying ammendments added Michael Poirier Classifieds and Personals Page 3 The Pizzaman Cometh Jeana C. Breton Page 4 Conference Hits the Marx Jason Peck Distinguished Scientist Lectures on Algorithims Caleb Frazier Page 5 Guidelines for the Student Judiciary Board Page 6 SJB Guidelines Continued The Beer Column Vote for a Pool Lounge Matt Apple Page 7 There’s Always Room for Cello Anne Miller They’re Just Doin’ What Comes Naturally Peter Boriskin with Act Natural Page 8 Form and Contest: an Eternal Debate Awakened Jonathan Miller ZZYZX Pix: Lou Reed and Widespread Panic David “ZZYZX” Steinberg Page 9 Blazers Stumble to NJ Tech, Nyack Matt Apple Fencers Fare Fairly Jeana C. Breton Samara Grossman Women’s Fencing Shawn Taylor Men’s Fencing Page 10 Intramural Scores Bard Biathon EPC Congratulates Carol Educational Policies Observer Kills Ass Jason Van Driesche Page 11 Translator, Please William Hayden Pass Me the Nyquil Paul Winkler Sunshine on Their Shoulders? Brad and Rob Club Left Uncovered Mary Mattis and Max Hoeber Page 12 Calendar Non-profit Org. U. 5. Postage PAID PennitNo. l Bard Annandale-on-Hudson College's. Rise up-and kill the , _ _News, Arts, popular kids . & Sports Weekly .r~David Letter~an_ Bu_dget ·Blues SMOG was one-of the groups·not to recieve funding from the Planning Committee-this semester due to a misuse of their funds last semester. _ - ~ . - - - . - -. ~ . alone." i~tead they are consider- --- ~~t6 -d~ it all first~ rate# _the way it by Michael Poirier· ing buying smaller pieces of should be, we don't have the ­ - N~sEditor., equipment that every club could money for," Gobboexplain~. The sign out and use for free. -_ Festivalranlastseinesterwithout Inside Mter the Budget Forum meet­ The Bard Papers had previously ~ money from the Fund and was ing last Tuesday, four:campus or­ been funded by the administra- referred to the ad~stration for ganizations (the Audio Co-op, tion of the college and the com- possible funding. &JB Guidelines ... Bard Papers, Cornucopia Music mittee felt that they "couldn't af- S.M.O.G. (StUdent Mechanics 2 and 5 Festival and S.M.O.G.) were le(t ford to sponsor publications that Open Garage) has been set aside ... page without funds by decision of the the administration used to cover. $500 in light of complications that ience can be fun ... Planning Committee. They can't try giving expensive arose last semester. The fopner The Audio Co-op, as explained things to us because we just don't nead of S.M.O.G._ was-given a __ ... pase 4 by Planning Conuili ttee chair have enough money." The Bard check for $900 late last year, the .Christine Gobbo, "wasn't being Papers had been asked by the entire S.M.O.G. allocation, and Recerd reviews ... ' utilizedveryoften."Originallythe administration to try and get that person did not return this -co-op was meant to save· clubs money-from the Convocation semester and no receipts to ac­ ... paBe ·a · money but most clubs wer~ _ hir-:­ Fund an4 are now looking back countforthemoneywasreceived. Cartoons .... ing disk jockeys or sound profes­ towards-the College for funding. either. Treasurer Matt Lee is try- sionals on their own. J'he Com­ TheComucopiaMusicFestival, ing to trace the money down and, .._ .p88e 11 mittee felt that 11in all fairness it is the brain-child of Jonathon in the event it is not recovered, hard for one person to run every­ Golodner, was too expensive for S.M.O.G. will inst~ad bealloc~ted thing attd do-all thpse events theC~nvocationFund to support. the $500. r;r . I .:z~-·- · Two clarif.uinu ammendments added - - . _. pealtheemergericydecisi!nilat cl~~-" The guidelines have al- _absolutely convinced of the theBoardhasgrownfromacom­ by Michael Poirie; involve suspension or expulsion -ready been reviewed by the defendant's guilt. Dean of Stu- mittee that usedonlyto excuse News Editor fulitded down by the administra-· President and Vice-~esident of dents Shelley Morgan explain~ parking tickets into "something tion. - ·-. · - theCollegeaswellaslawyersand that the SJB involved '1ess of a thatotherschoolsdon'thaveand Major changes in the final draft -~ow has. been passed along. for battle to· decide on guilt but it is we ought to· be pro11:~ -of. ~ere After eleven months of. inten- from earlier guideli~es included __fmal acceptance by the Faculty sanctions (punisffil:lents) the SJB are a lot of strong comprmruses sive revisions, the guidelines for .. the authority of the SJB to ask· ·Executive Committee. usually has to debate over." and some sha~y ones.. .let's put the Student Judiciary Board were members of the campus commu- Concerningclause4-l,Revisions The clarifying amendments power back in the hands of the passedbytheStudentForiunwith ·ruty to appear as wfinesses, the· Committee membe~Jeff Boden_ werenearthecloseoftheguide- stude~ts." The guidelines were only two minor "'clarifying" .rightofaplaintifftohavea"silent". explained why legal counsel is lines discussion. In recommend- then passed with only-one vote amendments. The clauses which person present puring proceed- not permitted to be involved in ing that the guidelines be passed, . not in support. were included were in response ings to act as moral support, the SJB proceedings. ''The SJB shall SJB chairperson Andrew Molloy . Oliver te BoekhuJ."st and Jason to small confusions raised by need for a two-thil'ds majority to function as a true judiciary board commented: ''If (the· revisions) Van Driesche were elected into sbidents attending the Forum;- · sentence a student to suspension and not a mind game of who can w:as an act of comprornise.. there the alternate positiqns of the SJB. The SJB exists as the judicial .· or expulsion, and the obligation hire the best lawyer." . · was a logic that prevailed that With only one person nominated representativeofthestudentbody of the SJB. to make their written Section 5, itel!l c concerns the wasattimes~erytediousand very for the Student Life Committee . and has the authority to examine ,decisions public ~th dissenting needoftheSJBtofindadef~ndant . intense... the g~delipes are not member vacancy, first year stu­ possible yiola~ons of college so- or concurring opinions of the guilty by unanimous vote~ they perfectly utilitari~ but they .are dent Sally Mertens~~s elected to ciru an.d residential rules. It re- members. appeal to the SJB as a counter- not draconian either. Let's pass the seat. ~ Viewscases,determinesguilt:.an'd SJB member Missy Calhoon action _to_ an emergency suspen- them because I really want to do can decide upon sanctions such commented that the revision sion from the Dean of Students. _ my job and get into the lynching Recycle as community services, fines; or process involved, ~~a lot of word_ This cfi:1use ls to prevent the Dean_ business." 'til evensuspensionorexpulsion. The ing changes to make clauses from abusing the power of emer- SJB member David Rolf cp~­ SJB also exists for stUdents to ap- stronger and to make ideas ~cy suspension if the SJB is'not eluded t~!e debate by stating that · ou bleed If you are interested in sublet­ Cinemagic. Please-it is very im­ viduals listed below: ting your apartment or house to portant to me. Call Chris at 758- •CCYP (Columbia County ~~~lduate students this summer, 0230, ·or send to box 1242. Tharik Youth Project)-Elai~e Mack stop by the MFA office in ,you. _ • NorthemDutche~Hospital­ "!nlffo'l''n Hall to provide a de- I<im.Moore Volunteer at Northern Dutchess •T~toring high school stu­ Hospital: we are a group which dents-Rob Reynolds Interested in volunteering dur- goes to the skilled nursing facility • Kingston Animal Shelter- ~ Spring Break? If so, please 3 times a week to help the nurses Teri v aterio by Ludlow 310 and see Te:r:L feed the elderly residents. We • Food Kitchen/ Clothing Plcms.an~tohelpbuildlowincome leave at 4:45 and return at 6:15; Drive-Stephanie Dopson lhousiine with Habitat for Hu- · Mon., Wed. and ~~!· Other days Or please feel free to-stop by the may be arranged. Contact Kim next Campus Outreach Group Moore through campus mail if meeting on Thurs., February 27 at interested. (Other opportunities 6:00p.m. inCollege~omofi<line. availablethroughNDHVolunteer office if yo~ ~e interested). Horoscope Interpretations Availabte here at Bard: Appoint­ Wanted: SOmeone who can fix a ments ,wlll be arr~ngoo. Please telephone· and answering ma­ bring.Natafchart; otherWise chart chine. Will pay. Please call 758- can be cast provided you supply 5360. ... exact time and place of birth. · Contact Box 842. Small fee re- I£ you are interested in volun- quired. Confident!~ity insured.: teering this semester with any of -- ' . ~ . the Campus Outreach (COG) Single silver vibrator seeks prog~:ams, please contact the indi- warm receptive ca\_'ity to initiate meaningful· vibrations through --~-- .... ' ·•· ~ " . ~ . - dialogue and soni.Answer toMs. Ultra Smooth, WXBC 540 AM Thursday night~ 6-7:00 pm. Listen and let Ms. Ultra Smooth liberate you. ~ .j..J•"i Greg says; "I neV:er even kneW" what a femaJe was _yntil I heaid . YOU CAN USE: -- OUR SMART .24 ATM . this show. Now I arnone." SMARF .24 / DISCOVER. ·-::-; ...... ~ ... .. .... .... - , . ;. ···IS CONVENIENnY -- EXPRESS CASH / VISA : ·· · .-.··~·RED HOOK ·."" LOCATED IN THE Nicole~ you're Extra Fun! NYCE_/ CASHERE l PLUS ··· .Rt. 9,South • 758·8811 STUDINf CINTIR -The Table claims Mr. Vanzo,. He also says and stuffed. The pizza, however, . ~- by Jeana C. Breton . that his calzones- are made' fresh has a weak tastingsaucethat they ~ __ ::~-- _.Staff Writer ·.. 4tstead of being pre-prepared like _ drown thedough in, but they have most places. The only true way to · spicy sausage_ that is very good.