3 Vol. 2, No. 7 This is the first of our monthly issues. It also marks the third story The Dragon Vol. 2 No. 7 by Gardner Fox published by THE DRAGON. In honor of April Fool’s Day, we have included in this issue a fea- Contents ture on silly songs to sing, ala-MAD Magazine, while adventuring. We Features would be most interested in seeing more like these, but only is they are fit to print. In honor of one of my own characters, a number of the How Heavy Is My Giant — Common-sense physics for D&D. 5 THE DRAGON’s Observance of April Fool’s Day — players here composed a bawdy ditty entitled “Tim, The Lusty Druid” Silly Songs for D&D ’ers ala MAD . .16-17 that is definitely NOT suitable for reprinting. We don’t need any more Creature Feature Contest #2 — Paint that Monster. .21 of that nature, nor will we publish them, unfortunately. There are The Stolen Sacrifice — S&S by Gardner Fox. 22 simply too many readers of TD that are too young for a “dirty D&D songbook,” and we certainly don’t need any nasty letters from any mommy-monsters. Variants You are all invited to attend our SPRING REVEL here in pic- The Bionic Supplement — cyborgs in MA . 8 turesque Lake Geneva on April Fool’s Day Weekend. See the ad on Demon Generation — the preceding page for more details. These small cons are quite dif- fooling players who’ve memorized G, D-G & H . 9 ferent in tone from GenCon, being far less commercially oriented and The Japanese Mythos for D&D . 11 more playing oriented. For one thing, we on the staff get lots more time to play and judge than we would normally at GenCon. Design/ Speaking of GenCon, this year’s edition is being held a little way Sorcerers Scroll — reg. column tackles Tolkein in D&D . 8 away from Lake Geneva for the first time in many years. The reasons for the shift are many and varied; we did not make the decision lightly. As anyone that attended last year can tell you, GenCon X was a smash- Designer’s Forum ing success at the Playboy Resort. However, even their fine facilities WARLORD — correcting a few flaws . .19 were strained to the utmost with the sheer volume of last year’s shindig. Notes from a Semi-Successful D&D Player — tips on plays . 30 This year’s location is the campus of Univ. of Wis-Parkside, in Kenosha, WI. More on that as the date draws nearer. Dragon Mirth TSR (Periodicals included) hopes to be moving into new quarters Finieous Fingers . 28 in May. It remains to be seen what effect the move will have on us here, Wormy . 29 but if planning ahead is any guarantee, we should make the transition without your noticing it. We are planning to move into a building sig- nificantly larger than the one we presently occupy. On page 5 of this issue, you will find a curious color ad. The story behind the story makes for fascinating telling in itself. The Harold Shea adventures remain some of the most highly recommended material that a DM could possibly hope to read, dealing as they do with parallel uni- verses and mythology. THE GREEN MAGICIAN is the last of the Publisher — E. Gary Gygax Harold Shea stories, and has been out of print and unavailable for well Managing Ed. — T. J. Kask over 20 years. It is our deep pleasure to announce that this lost classic T.J. Kask TD Editor — will be reprinted in TD in two parts (its nearly thirty-thousand words LW Editor — Joe Orlowski long) beginning in TD #15, inaugurating our third year of publishing. Art Dept. — Dave Sutherland Dave Trampier Tom Wham Circulation Mgr. — Joe Orlowski Cover — by Tom Canty If your mailing label says “TD 13” — this is your last issue . resubscribe Publisher’s Statement THE DRAGON is published monthly by TSR Periodicals, a division of TSR Hobbies, Inc., POB 110, Lake Geneva, WI 53147 It is available at better hobby shops and bookstores, or by subscription. Subscription rate is $9.00 per 6 issues, $18.00 per year. Single copy and back issue price is $1.50, but availability of back issues is not guaranteed. Subscriptions outside the U.S. and Canada are $20.00 per 6 issues, and are air-mailed overseas. (Payment must be made in U.S. currency or by international money order.) All material published herein becomes the exclusive property of the publisher unless special arrangements to the contrary are made. Subscription expiration is coded onto the mailing list. The number to the right of the name, prefixed by “LW” or “TD” is the last issue of the subscription. Notices will not be sent. Change of address must be filed 30 days prior to mailing date. Unsolicited material cannot be returned unless accompanied by a stamped return envelope, and no responsibility for such material can be assumed by the publisher in any event. All rights on the entire con- tents of this publication are reserved, and nothing may be reprinted in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher. Copyright 1978 by TSR HOBBIES, INC. Second-Class Postage paid at Lake Geneva, WI 53147. 4 HOW HEAVY IS MY GIANT? by The weight, chest size and torso length columns have two units of measurement to help you visualize how large these giants really are. SHLUMP DA ORC An important note: These weights and sizes are based on the propor- tions of an average human male. This means that from 6’ to 30’ the Have you ever wanted to know how heavy a giant is or how much a measurements given are proportionally the same as the 5'8” man. The giant can pick up? (loud refrain — “Anything he wants to”) Well, the 30’ giant will look exactly like the 5'8” human only taller. These mea- little Kobolds at TSR spent many hours of brain work and reams of surements then, being based on an average human will give you an paper-work to come up with an answer. Unfortunately they didn’t average giant as long as the giant retains the same proportions as the come up with one answer, they came up with many answers. (De- human. mocracy at its finest.) None of the Kobolds could remember how to do The normal human we’ve used has a shoulder length of 18” (the the scientific law about doubling the size and cubing the mass. So we same as his torso length); this is average. If that human had a shoulder couldn’t use that one to help us. length of 2 1/2 feet, that would change his weight and chest size. The Of all the answers we came up with we used the one that appeared same is true for giants. Not everybody’s giants look the same. Some are most reasonable. We used the formula that was created by our smartest squat and thick, others broad shouldered and narrow hipped. Unfor- Kobold, mainly because none of the rest of us could understand it!! tunately the formula only works for the average, proportionally Apparently what he did was base the weight on the increased volume of human-like giants. Those of you with different shaped giants must the torso. As a giant gets taller his torso lengthens too. make your own compensations. All of the information derived so far is Einshtein, our smartest Kobold, based his formula on an average based on the assumption that the physical, chemical and biological human male, 5'8” tall with a 38” chest size, an 18” torso length and make up of the giants are identical to normal human standards. Some who weighs 180 lbs. Then he figured that this portion of the body Dungeon Masters might want their giants to have hollow bones or three amounts to 35% of the whole body. Through diabolical methods he hearts, etc. Any change from the human norm may possibly affect the discovered that a cubic foot of a human body weighs 47 lbs. Using all giants weight. of this information he created a formula and calculated the following Over and Under weight giants. Again based on the 5'8’ man his weights, chest sizes and torso lengths. average weight is 160 lbs. but if he were 130 lbs. he would be 20% lighter than normal. A 30’ tall giant weighing 20% less than average Height Weight Chest size Torso Length would weigh 18,836 lbs. A 5'8” man who weighs 200 lbs. is 25% more in Feet Pounds Tons Inches Feet Inches Feet than average. A 30’ tall giant who is 25% heavier than average weighs (appx.) 29,587 lbs. (almost 15 tons). If you need a lighter or heavier giant base 5'8" 160 — 38" 3'2" 18" 1’6” it on the 5'8” man. Find the percent of increase or decrease. ie., 160 to 6' 185 — 40" 3'4" 19" 1’7” 130 = -20%, 160 to 200 = +25% etc. Multiply the giants normal 7' 300 — 47" 3'11" 22" 1’10” weight by the percent and add or subtract the result with the average 8' 450 — 54" 4'6" 25" 2’1” weight. (Don’t forget the percents’ decimal point) 9' 630 1/4 ton 60" 5' 29" 2'5" The Refined Formula: For those of you who wish to find out the weight and sizes of a larger giant (perhaps a Talos sized giant) this is the 10’ 875 1/4 ton 67" 5'7" 32" 2'8" formula we used.