69-75_News:riess template 5/31/2011 7:02 PM Page 69 SUNSTONE NEWS SINGLED OUT: ONE GOAL FOR YOUNG MORMON SINGLES—GET MARRIED! DURING THE APRIL 2011 and Erin Parsons trace LDS only those married for eternity Deseret News article invoked priesthood session of general statements against singlehood by the power of the priesthood both theological imperatives conference, President Thomas back to 1831, when Joseph would “have an increase” in the and practical benefits to mar- S. Monson dedicated one fifth Smith penned a revelation for resurrection. riage when urging Mormon of his speech to encouraging Leman Copley, a former celibate As soon as Mormons settled bachelors to “make one grand single men to marry—a subject Shaker, declaring that “whoso in the West, Church leaders vig- attempt for blissful days, com- on which Church leaders have forbiddeth to marry is not or- orously promoted marriage as fortable nights, posterity, and an been preaching almost since dained of God, for marriage is the only way for men—natu- honest future.” Mormonism began. ordained of God unto man” rally sinful and lazy—to be- While Brigham Young prob- “Brethren, there is a point at (D&C 49:15). By 1843, Joseph come devout Christians, ably never actually said that which it’s time to think seriously Smith was privately marrying righteous patriarchs, and pro- every single man over 27 is “a about marriage and to seek a plural wives and teaching that ductive citizens. An 1857 menace to society” (one of companion with whom you Mormonism’s most famous mis- want to spend eternity,” he said. quotes), George Q. Cannon’s During the Sunday morning statement in an 1878 general session of the same conference, conference sounds about as se- apostle Richard G. Scott told vere: “A large number of un- single young men, “Don’t waste married men, over the age of 24 time in idle pursuits. Get on years, is a dangerous element in with life and focus on getting any community.” Ten years be- married. Don’t just coast fore that, Brother Brigham had through this period of life.” admonished: “Let every man in Days after President the land over 18 years of age Monson’s speech, LDS leaders take a wife.” announced the disbanding of all While single men have been student wards in Utah Valley and characterized as “selfish, sinful, the formation of new all-single and possibly suffering from a stakes and wards for people Single Mermaids: Left to right: Lydia Roes, Lani Chapman, Sasha Piton, students chemical imbalance,” women 18–30. the Salt Lake Tribune’s at the University of Arizona, sing “I Need a Man,” an adaptation of “Part of Your have generally been treated as Peggy Fletcher Stack connected World” (from Walt Disney’s movie The Little Mermaid). “I want to be where the el- “gentle victims of man’s selfish- this reorganization to the pro- ders are/ I want one for my eternal companion/ One who’s not afraid of commit- ness,” with Church leaders con- marriage preaching in confer- ment,” they sing. “I’m really great/ Why don’t I date?/ I need a man!” soling them that “they will yet ence the week before, noting receive all the blessings of matri- that persuading “young men and mony in the hereafter.” As women to stop postponing mar- Lavina Fielding Anderson and riage . is, after all, the goal of Jeffery O. Johnson note, all these singles wards.” “Whatever single women may What challenges do LDS sin- suffer, they still need not cope gles confront? Does being single with the pressure and guilt single in the Church promise more Mormon males must face in a than becoming a “ministering culture where the initiative rests angel” who will wait tables in with the man and where the re- the celestial kingdom, as Pat sponsibility to take it is preached Bagley has humorously imag- by precept and example in every ined? Is singlehood a condition ward in the Church.” to be frowned on and pitied, or A century later, President could it be accepted as normal-- Ezra Taft Benson worked in the perhaps even celebrated? same rhetorical vein as had Brigham Young and George Q. Desperate RM: In this Deseret First Credit Union ad, a young man opens a savings FROM CONDEMNATION TO account for “the engagement ring.” He confesses to the teller that he’s not engaged Cannon when he implicitly ACCOMMODATION yet —in fact, he’s not even dating— yet he feels that “it’s time to get serious” be- questioned the manhood of un- cause he has been back from his mission “long enough.” “How long have you been married males, urging them to AUTHORS Marybeth Raynes back?” the teller asks. The answer: “Twenty-two days.” “arise from the dust . and be JUNE 2011 PAGE 69 69-75_News:riess template 5/31/2011 7:02 PM Page 70 SUNSTONE men” (2 Nephi 1:21). chair of the Marriage and Family Delmont R. Oswald, a 47- Therapy Program at BYU, made SINGLES AND THE CHURCH: A CHRONOLOGY year-old divorced Mormon, re- headlines at the university’s sponded to Benson’s speech at paper, the Daily Universe, by 1831: A revelation declares the next Sunstone Symposium. stating that LDS singles needed that “marriage is ordained of “The tone of President Benson’s to put more thought and prepa- God unto man” (D&C 49:15). speech troubled me,” Oswald ration into marriage. “Don’t rush 1843: Joseph Smith re- said. “I heard his words as those even if you’ve found the right ceives revelations regarding ce- of an adult lecturing a child. person,” Larson wrote. “I don’t lestial marriage and exaltation Too often [in the Church] think the Spirit will tell you, (D&C 131:1–4; D&C 132). adulthood comes to be defined ‘Don’t get to know him or her 1868: Brigham Young ad- by marital status rather than by better first.’” Larson explained monishes, “Let every man in age and maturity.” that pressure to marry and mar- the land over 18 years of age At that same symposium, rying too young are factors that take a wife.” BYU sociologist Lawrence A. hamper the success of a mar- 1890: Evan Stephens, single, is appointed director of the Young noted that the activity riage: the divorce rate, he Mormon Tabernacle Choir. rates of single females in the warned, is 70 percent for people 1958: Bruce R. McConkie publishes Mormon Doctrine. Church can be five times that of who marry before age 20. The entry on CELIBACY invites the reader to see also APOS- single males. “There is strong ev- TASY, CELESTIAL MARRIAGE, EUNUCHS, and HARLOTS. idence that as a Church, we are FAMOUS BACHELORS 1968: The General Handbook of Instructions authorizes not meeting the needs of LDS the creation of student wards. single members, particularly DESPITE the tremendous pres- 1969: LDS author Helen B. Andelin publishes The single men,” he said. Young sures single men and women Fascinating Girl, a 307-page volume containing “secrets” on pointed to data showing that face in Mormon culture, there how to “win the attention of men.” It is still in print. “single women over 30 have have been some Mormon men 1971: Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought publishes a higher levels of education, occu- who have defended their bache- compilation of articles titled, “Single Voices” (vol. 6 no. 2 pation, and Church activity than lorhood and Mormon women [Summer 1971], 77-83). single men.” Consequently, who rose to positions of promi- 1976: The new General Handbook of Instructions Young cautioned, “If never-mar- nence in the Church despite authorizes the creation of single adults wards. ried men were to arise en masse their single status. 1977: Lavina Fielding Anderson and Jeffery O. Johnson from the dust and seek marriage, None may be more peculiar publish “Endangered Species: Single Men in the Church” we can only wonder who they than Evan Stephens (SUNSTONE, Summer 1977, 2–7). would go out to marry. Based on (1854–1930), who served 26 1988: At the April general conference, Pres. Ezra Taft available studies of marital suc- years as director of the Mormon Benson urges male single adults to “arise from the dust . cess, we would have to be very Tabernacle Choir. A confirmed and be men.” concerned about the quality and bachelor who took a series of 1989: The March issue of the Ensign includes an inter- long-term stability of a marriage younger men under his wing view with Elder Marion D. Hanks, a seventy in charge of between the typical never-mar- and into his home, Stephens programs and activities for singles. In the same issue, Elder ried LDS male over thirty and was also a gender-transgressive John K. Carmack publishes an article titled, “To My Single the typical never-married LDS artist who sometimes sang in Friends.” female over thirty.” falsetto and impersonated “the 1996: LDSSINGLES.COM is launched, one of the first in a In retrospect, Benson’s 1988 old maid of ninety-five.” When long list of online dating services for Mormons. address may have been a “last world-renowned soprano Nellie 1997: Sheri Dew, single, is called as a counselor in the hoorah” for the harsh nine- Melba asked how many wives general presidency of the Relief Society. teenth-century style of he had, Stephens quipped: “I 2000: Bachelor Steve Young marries. preaching on male singleness. am sorry you pressed the ques- 2003: BYU produces Eric Samuelsen’s play The Way We’re The quarter century since that tion.