Season 3 Episode 26- Caitlyn’s Story: Second Brain Super Powers (Part 1) Matt: Welcome to season three of the Robertson and Easterling podcast. I'm Matt Easterling Craig: and I'm Craig Robertson, Matt and I are board certified family law attorneys with decades of combined experience serving Mississippians throughout our fine state. Matt: In 2019, we began wondering if the struggles our firm deals with on a daily basis could be used to help the general public. And from there, the Robertson Easterling podcast was born. Craig: During the first two seasons, we had open and honest discussions with everyday people about their individual relationship journeys, some ending in heartbreak and others in redemption, but all with powerful stories to tell. Matt: in season three, you will hear more of the same stories from other marriage and divorce survivors, as well as from our new co-hosts. Eva and Roane Hunter from LifeWorks counseling. Eva and Roane are both licensed professional counselors, and we're excited to partner with them and hear the different perspective they're going to have for all of our listeners. Craig: Speaking of listening, if you're new to our podcast and haven't heard seasons one and two, be sure to check them out on iTunes, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player. Now sit back, relax and enjoy today's show. What you're about to hear is going to help. Craig: Back with another episode of the Robertson and Easterling podcast. We are sponsored by our friends at LifeWorks counseling, and I'm excited today that our co-host is Eva Hunter. Eva, thanks for being with us. Eva: Glad to be here, Craig. Craig: I am so excited to have Eva with us, but I'm even more excited to have our guests today who probably one of my all time favorite clients. This is Caitlyn and Caitlyn is very brave, very beautiful. Caitlyn, thanks for being with us here. So let's just jump right in, you know, a big part of what we do is talk about people's story, the story of their life, the story of their relationship, and that's what I'd like for us to do today. So give us a little background, tell us a little bit about what it was like for you. Caitlyn: Uh, I grew up in a really small town. We know church was a big part of, of my life growing up. Were there basically every time the doors were open, we were at church. It was a big part of my life. And growing up in a small town, you know, everybody knows everybody. So, another part of my life probably would be that growing up. My dad was never really very present. My mom was there most of the time, my dad, he was gone maybe only home one or two nights during the week. And when he was home, he was an alcoholic and drank and you know, he would be verbally abusive, not only to me, but my sister and my mother. So that was probably a big part of my life. Craig: So what I heard you say was you're from small town in Mississippi, that everybody knew everybody that you guys were at church every time the door was open. And you struggled with a relationship with your dad, he wasn't present. He drank too much. And because you're from a small town, uh, did you know your husband, when you were a teenager? Caitlyn: So, I met my husband in high school. We went to the same school. I really got to know him in high school. We were in a show choir together where he was a show choir tech, because in high school you do everything to get out and go into class. So if you can get that show choir tech and, and go with all the show choir girls to all the show, choir performances, that's what you do. Craig: You're on stage. And he was behind the scenes? Caitlyn: Right, so that's really how we got to know each other. Eva: You were on the stage and he was really behind the scenes. How did the two of you connect? Caitlyn: So that wasn't High school. And then in college, it's really, when we connected, my sister lived in the same neighborhood as his parents, like the house right in front of his parents. And so I was fixing to go into college my freshman year and he was a junior in college, actually studying to go to med school, take the LSAT. And my sister had a pool. And so he was supposed to be studying. But instead he was over at my sister's house. We started hanging out and swimming and we had known each other, you know, we known each other all through high school. So now this is college. We reconnected that way. And we hung out that whole summer and basically were together ever since I would drive for the weekends to stay at Mississippi state, go to the football games. We did all that. Really our relationship was easy and fun, and we were really best friends. Like we told each other everything and we loved each other. I mean, I think to an extent we probably still love each other. It's just a little different, but we had a great relationship. We got along great. Craig: Eva, this is sounding, I'm not saying it's sounding exactly like yours and Ron's story, but I'm hearing small town in Mississippi. I'm hearing high school sweethearts and basically growing up together. Craig: We weren't high school sweethearts, but I mean, we knew each other in high school, but we never dated in high school. It wasn't until college. Caitlyn: And so you guys decided to make a life together. Talk about that. Caitlyn: My ex-husband's family owned a business and he was very involved in that and really enjoyed that business. But currently he was studying at Mississippi state with a biology degree to go to med school. Well, his parents were pushing him to go to med school because they saw how hard they had to work and how hard it was and how much it took from your family to own your own business and how much you have to be dedicated and diligent. And you have to be there and you know, it's a lot to own your own business. And so they would have rather him gone to med school. That's really not what he wanted to do. He really wanted to open his own business. Craig: Why did you fall in love with your husband? Caitlyn: Because he was kind and he was somebody I wanted to be like. Craig: And the two of you, um, not only decided to get married, but you decided to work together as well. And what is that like because again, I know Roane and Eva worked together every single day, and I know that that can have unique challenges. What was it like for you? What was your experience? Caitlyn: We made a great team. We work together great. I don't even know if we ever really got in fights. I mean, I can't remember even a knock-down drag-out fight that we ever got in. It was just easy. We got along great. You know, I knew my role. He, he knew his role and I just kinda fed off of him and we made a great team. Craig: Describe those roles. I heard you say, you know, we both had our place, our role in the relationship be more specific. Caitlyn: So I feel like I was probably more in the background and I did a lot of things that weren't very noticeable, but were very influential. He was more out front dealing with the people. Whereas I was more behind the scenes, maybe computer work, design, making sure everything flowed, making sure we had the, what we needed to operate. Eva: When did you start a family? Caitlyn: We had our first child in 2016. So we got married and had our first child about a year after we were married, when he was three, he started having seizures and we really didn't know what was wrong. And we went through several different misdiagnoses and finally they diagnosed him with a genetic disorder. Um, it's a disorder that I carry a mutation and my husband carried a mutation and he got both copies of the mutation. So he is recessive for the disorder. I'm a carrier. My husband's a carrier. So after we learned all that and learned how to cope through dealing with that, basically his symptoms were seizures, he has seizures. And because he had so many seizures before we found out the diagnosis, um, he is delayed and he's not a normal eight year old now, but when we first found out what he had, they gave us three to six months for him to live. And that was in 2016. Craig: What kind of unique challenges did you guys experience together as a couple? You have a child who had these health concerns. You're going to different doctors trying to understand how best to help him. And if I remember correctly, it was almost a shot in the dark that a doctor took to determine whether or not this genetic condition exists.