Adult Children of Problem Drinking Parents: Experiences of Relationships Soad Nasr Submitted to the University of Hertfordshire in partial fulfilment of the requirements of the degree of Doctor of Clinical Psychology June 2015 Page Intentionally Left Blank Acknowledgements For Mum, for your protection and self-sacrifice, without which I would not be where I am today. And for Dad, who has demonstrated that relationships can change for the better. I would like to thank my research supervisors Lizette Nolte and Jenny Maslin for their unwavering support and encouragement, without which I would not have made it through this process. I would also like to thank my brother and sister for their ongoing support when I needed it the most. Finally, and most importantly, I would like to thank all the participants who shared their story. Your openness and generosity has made this study possible. Page Intentionally Left Blank Contents ABSTRACT ........................................................................................................................................................ 7 1.0 INTRODUCTION .......................................................................................................................................... 8 1.1 TERMINOLOGY .................................................................................................................................................. 8 1.2 HOW I CAME TO THIS STUDY ............................................................................................................................... 9 1.3 REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE ................................................................................................................................ 9 1.3.1 Adult Children of PDPs ........................................................................................................................ 10 1.3.2 The Family Dance ................................................................................................................................ 12 1.3.3 Co-dependence.................................................................................................................................... 12 1.3.4 Control in Relationships ...................................................................................................................... 13 1.3.5 Relational Roles ................................................................................................................................... 14 1.3.6 Relational Coping Styles ...................................................................................................................... 15 1.3.7 Sense of Self ........................................................................................................................................ 15 1.3.7.1 A Loss of Self .................................................................................................................................... 15 1.3.7.2 Self-Esteem in Relationships ............................................................................................................ 16 1.3.7.3 Positive Aspects of Self ..................................................................................................................... 17 1.3.8 Attachment Theory ............................................................................................................................. 18 1.3.8.1 Attachment and ACOPD ................................................................................................................... 20 1.3.8.2 Attachment Studies .......................................................................................................................... 21 1.3.9 Relationship Satisfaction ..................................................................................................................... 24 1.3.10 Protective relationships ..................................................................................................................... 25 1.4 CONCLUSION AND RATIONALE FOR THE STUDY ...................................................................................................... 25 2.0 METHODOLOGY ....................................................................................................................................... 28 2.1 A QUALITATIVE APPROACH ............................................................................................................................... 28 2.2 INTERPRETATIVE PHENOMENOLOGICAL ANALYSIS (IPA) .......................................................................................... 28 2.3 REFLEXIVITY .................................................................................................................................................... 30 2.4 PARTICIPANTS ................................................................................................................................................. 31 2.4.1 Recruitment ......................................................................................................................................... 31 2.4.2 Inclusion Criteria ................................................................................................................................. 32 2.4.3 Exclusion Criteria ................................................................................................................................. 32 2.4.4 The Sample .......................................................................................................................................... 32 2.5 ETHICAL CONSIDERATIONS ................................................................................................................................ 33 2.5.1 Informed Consent ................................................................................................................................ 34 2.5.2 Confidentiality ..................................................................................................................................... 34 2.5.3 Potential Distress ................................................................................................................................ 34 2.6 DATA COLLECTION ........................................................................................................................................... 35 2.6.1 Semi-Structured Interview Development ............................................................................................ 35 2.6.2 Pilot Interview & Service User Involvement ........................................................................................ 35 2.6.3 Interviews ............................................................................................................................................ 35 2.7 DATA ANALYSIS ............................................................................................................................................... 35 2.7.1 Individual Case Analysis ...................................................................................................................... 36 2.7.2 Cross-Case Analysis ............................................................................................................................. 36 2.8 QUALITY IN QUALITATIVE RESEARCH ................................................................................................................... 37 2.8.1 Sensitivity to Context........................................................................................................................... 37 2.8.2 Commitment and Rigour ..................................................................................................................... 38 2.8.3 Coherence and Transparency .............................................................................................................. 38 2.8.4 Impact and Importance ....................................................................................................................... 39 3.0 RESULTS ................................................................................................................................................... 40 3.1 MOVING FROM ‘BEWILDERMENT’ TO SEEKING CLARITY AND STABILITY IN RELATIONSHIPS ............................................... 41 Page 5 3.1.1 Remembering feeling ‘bewildered’ ..................................................................................................... 41 3.1.2 ‘Second-guessing’ myself .................................................................................................................... 43 3.1.3 Experiencing ‘moments of love’ makes it difficult to be ‘black and white’ ......................................... 46 3.1.4 Valuing stability and clarity in relationships ....................................................................................... 49 3.2 REMEMBERING FEELING UNSAFE AND FINDING SAFETY IN RELATIONSHIPS .................................................................... 51 3.2.1 Remembering feeling unsafe .............................................................................................................. 51 3.2.2 ‘Sitting on a volcano’ ........................................................................................................................... 52 3.2.3 ‘Cut-off’ to ‘Stay safe’.......................................................................................................................... 54 3.2.4 Finding safety .....................................................................................................................................