PSYCHIC VIBRATIONS ROBERT SHEAFFER Well Feng Shui Until the Contrails Get Us! hat is the hottest technique Babies, work fine, too, if placed at appro- had the good fortune to survive two scary being used by cutting-edge priate heights." Apparently foolishness disasters that threatened the end of life as Wcompanies of the Silicon and dreaming has replaced hard-headed we know it. First it was the Y2K bug, Valley to get ahead of the high-tech analysis in California's frenzied Internet which threatened (or in the view of some competition? None other than the Gold Rush. of the scaremongers, promised) to grind ancient Chinese art of feng shui, the har- Nor is Silicon Valley die only place our technological society to a halt. Then monious placement of objects to pro- where feng shui is making inroads. the supposedly great planetary alignment mote health, balance, prosperity, and Reuters reported on April 13 that die of May 5 allegedly threatened disaster on well-being. "Feng shui was once viewed British Tomato Growers Association has Earth with massive earthquakes and cities as a secret weapon used by companies been encouraging its members to experi- buried under massive piles of ice (see with Asian roots, and, occasionally, by a ment widi feng shui in the hopes that its "May 5, 2000: Will You Survive die few tradition-busting mainstream exec- channeled energy would lead to bigger Cosmic Y2K Glitch?" SI May/June 2000, utives to get an edge in business. Stories and juicier crops. However, on die Isle of p. 8). I was curious to see how the Web are plentiful about how companies have Wight, two tomato growers quit their site of Richard Noone, the principal oriented new buildings and set up exec- jobs because they felt that their scaremonger, would deal widi the diffi- utive offices according to feng shui prin- employers use of feng shui openly "relies culty that poses itself "when prophecy ciples," writes the San Jose Mercury on a power otlier dian God" and hence fails." The answer for several weeks, it News (April 3, 2000). was in conflict with their Baptist reli- didn't. Indeed, surfing around the Noting that feng shui consultants' fees gious beliefs. Internet's various end-of-the-world links, typically start at $200 an hour (with a Commenting on the above contro- I even found Web sites that promise two-hour minimum), the article provides versy, a spokesman for the Tomato Doomsday occurring in 1998 or earlier, helpful instructions for those wishing to Growers Association optimistically noted shamelessly still displaying themselves for become harmonious on a budget. First, that last year's innovation—playing rock all to see. However, in June Noone got you divide your office or cubicle into and roll music to the plants—may have around to sheepishly admitting that it thirds, both horizontally and vertically. contributed to a production rise of five "looks like most earth change activity has Next, connect die endpoints to form an percent. "While we don't put it entirely not affected high population areas and octagon. Finally, you orient your work- down to the introduction of rock and roll we are all greatful [sic]. The pacific [sic] place to die ba-gua, the eight-sided tem- music, where sound waves help widi the ring of fire has been active with earth plate diat forms die basis for feng shui. pollination process, it has encouraged us quakes [sic] and volcanoes. June 4, 2000 "If your office or cubicle is missing cer- to diink laterally and not be afraid to try 7.9 quake hits Indonesia with many 5+ tain sides, place mirrors across from die new ideas," said die associations chair- and 6+ after shocks. Another 6.1 hits missing sides or hang crystals near man, Peter Lansdale. Still left unresolved Turkey 6/6/00. The earth changes cake is them... Stuffed animals, even Beanie is the question of how feng shut's "harmo- not completely baked. Stay tuned. Many nious balance" is to be reconciled with of you ask we keep this page up for a Robert Sheaffers World Wide Web page for the playing of Metallica. while for research purposes. The book UFOs and other skeptical subjects is at * * « 5/5/2000 Ice: The Ultimate Disaster is www.debunker. com. Twice dius far this year, civilization has now a classic and is still valid as scientists 2 2 September/October 2000 SKEPTICAL INQUIRER have seen the planetary alignment as a resting for a while. Chills and fever, night Thank God for your show and the public trigger point for continuing geological sweats, water retention, scalp rash." (Sec awareness campaign you are doing!!!" and weather disruptions. It is not over yet www.contrailconnection.com for these (Late-night conspiracy-talk maven Bell and we suggest you continue with your and many other harrowing accounts.) recently retired—apparently for good, emergency preparations." In the words of Worst of all, the contrail poisonings this time—but the show continues with Cameron Scott Mackenzie, who has do not appear to be the accidental effects Mike Siegel as host. See News and filled various Internet newsgroups with from some careless polluters. No indeed: Comment, this issue.) What can people postings of apocalyptic alarums, "No there seems to be a vast conspiracy under- do to protect themselves from this men- prophecies ever fail, they just take longer way to spread the poison among the ace? "We now keep windows closed, slid- to be fulfilled." population, for reasons unknown. ing patio door closed," reports one But don't get too complacent about "Contrails" are therefore sometimes California man. Better safe than sorry! referred to as "chemtrails," to emphasize our temporary respite from doom, * * * because there's more to come. The so- their sinister, toxic nature. As one sufferer reports, "I have seen three KC-135's fly- called "sleeping prophet" Edgar Cayce Not all UFOlogists believe that the ing, and two of them spraying with a tail- foresaw a "a shifting of the poles" (or at saucer creatures come from outer space: boom. I hope someone can document all least the beginning of "a new cycle") to some say that they hail from realms of the sickness caused by this so [my wife] occur in 2000 or 2001 (see www. inner space instead. Indeed, UFOlogist realizes diat something very bad, very evil all-ez.com/earth.htm). So according to John Rhodes suggests that "According to Cayce, Noone may yet be proved to be correct. And Moira Timms, die New Age Many sufferers reported that they only author of Beyond Prophecies and Predictions, warns that die Great Pyramid recognized the symptoms of contrail sickness contains a 6,000 pyramid-inch-long after hearing of it on the Art Bell show. "prophetic timeline" that starts in 3,999 B.C. (which would be just year 5 of cre- is occurring over our heads." In die tiny science, the humanoid reptilian being ation, according to Bishop Ussher), and northern Ontario town of Espanola, may be the result of an undisturbed evo- ends precisely on September 17, 2001. recently "unidentified aircraft" looking lution of the dinosaurs." He suggests at Even should die world somehow survive like KC-135s allegedly began appearing www.reptoids.com, "What if most that debacle, Timms warns that there is a weekly, spraying out chemicals at low 'extraterrestrials' are really evolved reptil¬ date "written in stone": December 23, altitudes, reportedly causing residents to lian terrestrial beings that live under- 2012, otherwise known as "4 Ahua 3 suffer neck pain, breathing problems, ground?" This, he suggests, would Kankin," or the Very Last Day. That's headaches, burning eyes and dry, hacking explain a lot of things, like the reported when the Mayan calendar goes kaput, coughs. The U.S. Air Force press office in reptilian appearance of some saucer and it began way back in 3114 B.C. So at Washington, D.C. denied having any beings, as well as the abundance of ser- best we've got twelve more years. such planes in the area. Nor are the U.S. pent-like beings such as Satan and And even should we somehow survive and Canada die only areas affected: a Quetzalcoatl in ancient legends. It might the destruction foretold by die Great Web site in the Netherlands warns of the also account for the phenomenon of the Pyramid and by Edgar Cayce, there's sull dangers of contrails in Dutch, while sinister Men In Black, who are some- the matter of the contrails, which threaten other scary reports are pouring in from times described as "reptilian" in appear- us all with doom of a far more insidious the U.K., Italy, and Mexico. (The New ance: "Individuals who accidentally nature. It has come to our attention that Mexicans for Science and Reason have encounter an intelligent non-human life the contrails from jets appears to contain a web page debunking "chemtrail" form or discover a facet of the phenom- some kind of unknown, sinister poison, baloney at www.nmsr.org/chemtrls. ena that might become the "smoking and consequently a hideous disease called htm.) And some seemingly innocent gun" that could disrupt the humanities contrail sickness is sweeping die land. For postcards from Paris showing the Eiffel perception of reality are sometimes con- example, one sufferer reports, "I have had Tower have been analyzed by The tacted by very sinister and mysterious the worst cold that I have ever had in my Contrail Connection and found to contain Men In Black (MIB.) Although some of life and I can't get rid of it and I notice suspicious-looking contrails, suggesting these strange characters may be human die daily high altitude contrails over my that the vast poisoning conspiracy operatives trying to confuse and scare house .