Con tents Editorial: Going Home ............................/ 3 A Tribute to an Amazing Residential Team .................../ 4 Kiaras Gharabaghi Simple Complexity in CYC Practice ....................../ 8 Jack Phelan Ensuring Inclusion of Children from Marginalised Communities in India ....../ 10 Malay Dewanji Hide or Seek: looking for love in all the wrong places .............../ 28 Maxwell Smart and John Digney Catching Up: CYC and the 21st Century ..................../ 34 Hans Skott-Myhre Time for Tea: Finding Meaning in the Rhythm of Mealtime Experiences ......./ 38 James Freeman Unplugged: Life without Social Media – A Qualitative Exploration ........./ 41 Cas san dra Nader, Catherine Hedlin, Donna Jamie son and Gerard Bellefeuille Personal Values ............................../ 50 Kirsten Gibb Just Say “No” to Lemon Gin ........................./ 54 Nils Ling Postcard from Leon Fulcher ........................./ 56 Endnotes ................................./ 60 Information ................................/ 62 2 CYC-On line July 2015 Issue 197 l a i r o t i d Going EditoHomerial: Going Home e o, as I write this I am pack ing my bags fer ence a number of times – and al ways it Sand figur ing out the lo gistics of going is the same – joy, hope, op ti mism and a be - to South Af rica for the "Cel e brat ing 40 lief that we, as Child and Youth care Years of Child and Youth Care Work" work ers, can change the world in which Con fer ence. It feels like ‘going home’. we live. CYCs in South Af rica seem to be - I have been going to South Afric a, and lieve that it is their re spon sibil ity to the NACCW Con fer ence since1987, par tic ipate in chang ing the word in which when Apartheid was still in place and it they live. Ah, that we should all hold such a was a more dan ger ous world in which to be lief! be suppor tiv e of ‘all’ people . And yet, even Imag ine! Hav ing a be lief that you can then the NACCW was one of the few le- change the world! And belie ving that your gally in te grated as so ci a tions in South work, as a CYC, is doing just that! Af rica. As I sat in that meet ing place, all those I re mem ber those early visits – con - years ago, and let the joy, the be lief and the necting with people in diff er ent sector s, spirit roll over me, I felt, as I have said be - hang ing out in re stricted places, raising my fore, that I was ‘at home’. At home in the fist in suppor t of equality as the men with sense that I was with peo ple who shared machine guns watched us, moving quickly the same be liefs, val ues, and what ever, that off the streets of So weto as the tanks I did. It felt, simply , like fam ily. rolled by. Damn! Those were scary mo- So now, as you read this, I am in Cape ments for a for eigner – and ev ery day life Town. Once again I am at the NACCW for those who lived there. conf er ence – but there is a diff er ence this In the midst of all this madness which I time – many of my Ca na dian col leagues did not under stand, there was the are here with me. I can only hope that NACCW Con fer ence. they might expe ri ence the spirit – and As peo ple walked into the meet ing bring it home. place sing ing and carr y ing their re gional For me whether I am embed ded in flags, heads up high, joy ev i dent and voices CYC in Canada , or in South Afric a, I feel loud, I felt the spirit of South Af rican Child like I am at home. At home with car ing, and Youth Care. love and people who want to make the A spirit of joy, of be lief, of hope and world a better place for childr en. com mit ment. Thank you all! It felt like home to me. I have been back to the NACCW con - Thom CYC-On line July 2015 Issue 197 3 A Tribute to an Amazing ResidentA Tribute to an Amazingial Residential Team Team Kiaras GharabagKiaras Gharabaghi hi School of Child & Youth Care, Ryerson University [email protected] t is with a heavy heart that I write my was sud den and un expected , and only a Icol umn this month. Sadly, another young few short days after moving on from her person who largely grew up in resi den tia l long-term resi den tial place ment where she group care has gone to an other world; had spent the pre vious four years. She was, hopefull y one that is peaceful, filled with by all accounts, a caring, gen er ous, giv ing love, and de void of pain. Her depar ture and deeply thoughtful young woman, with 4 CYC-On line July 2015 Issue 197 a feisty charac ter , an im pres sively broad time, and I spend a few hours with the vo cab u lary of some what in sult ing words team once per month to re flect on the and phrases, and alwa ys will ing to do bat tle work, the ex pe rience of the work, and and also to apol o gize for any wrongs she some times just to be to gether and enjoy might have done. Trust was a diff icult con- the mo ment. It is not hard to enjoy the cept for her, but she found ways of moment in the presence of this team; trusting the child and youth work ers she rarely in my car eer have I en counter ed a woke up to, spend her days with, and group of prac ti tio ners who are as re flec - under whose watch she fell asleep night tive, de ter mined, com mit ted and car ing as after night. I am told she was ex traor di- this team. Over the years, they have bat- narily cre ative, and had thoughts about a tled each other on var ious per spec tives car eer in fash ion or in desig n. And she was about the work, the values that drive the a lover of na ture, com ing to life in glow ing work, the best ways of being helpful to the and shim mer ing ways when par tic i pat ing in young peo ple, and the many ways of cre at - camp trips, paddling a canoe or just staring ing a team dy namic that is healthy, out on the lake. re ward ing and ul ti mately to the ben e fit of She laughed when she could, but signif i- the young peo ple in the resi dence . Their cant parts of her life were about pain. battles have often been hard and pointed: Dif fi cult pain, compli cated pain, hard to Struc ture ver sus flex i bil ity, rules ver sus tackle sort of pain. As she ap proached the con ver sa tion, con se quences ver sus pro - lat ter parts of child hood, she faced her cess. The team has no free load ers; not toughest battle yet; demons ap peared in one indi vid ual who asks oth ers to fight her mind, un settled her, scared her, and their battles . Ev ery one is in; ev ery one per haps, one might spec u late, ul ti mately wants to en sure that the stan dard of eval- contr olled her in that moment her jour ney u at ing the care, the re la tional con text and here with us ended abruptly. every day life in the resi dence starts with This wonder ful young woman leaves awe some and ends with life al ter ing. Ev ery - be hind a mother and sib lings; dif fi cult re la - one is prepar ed to be vulner a ble . Our tionships to be sure, but also meaning ful con ver sa tions have cov ered val ues, be liefs, ones, car ing ones, and rela tion ships that fears, anx i eties, and many other re flec tions likely were central in her time here on Self — Self in prac tice, Self in the mo - amongst us. She also leaves behind a group ment, Self in re la tion ship, Self in judg ment, of other young peo ple who had lived with Self in cul ture. her, some for years, oth ers for months, and This team has what I like to think of as some for just weeks. And she leaves be- a magic po tion; an in gre dient that can not hind a team of child and youth care be repli cat ed, that is unique to this group practi tio ners; this is the team I want to of people , to the now embed ded cultur e write about. of the house, and to the rela tion ships that I have known this team for quite some were, are and will be present here. I love CYC-On line July 2015 Issue 197 5 that they never agree en tirely on any thing. are open to the con versa tion, ready to re - This gives me conf idence that young peo - flect, to ques tion and to consid er seri ousl y ple will never be sub ject to the op pressio n and with re spect what their col leagues are of adult consen sus .