Walking My Path An Autoethnographic Study of Identity Davina B Woods Dip. of Teaching NBCAE, B. Ed QUT, Grad. Cert Aboriginal Studies UniSA, MA Monash, Grad. Cert. Ter. Ed. VU Submitted in fulfilment of the requirements of the degree of Doctor of Philosophy College of Arts and Education Victoria University, Melbourne, Australia June 2018 1 | P a g e Abstract ‘Walking My Path: An Autoethnographic Study of Identity’ is a doctoral thesis written in first person narrative about my search for my ancestral country in Far North Queensland. Incorporating both physical walking on country and metaphorical walking of trauma trails (Atkinson 2002) the story of my matrilineal Grandfather’s childhood builds on Shirleen Robinson’s (2008) ‘Something like Slavery?’. Enabling me to explore First-Nations philosophical concepts, I explain how I practise this philosophy inside my First-Nations family and community in the 21st century. Embedding my research in Indigenous Standpoint Theory and gathering the data, using a methodological net that includes yarning and dadirri, I am honouring First-Nations peoples. Finding that much of the data was distressing I have developed Creative Healing Inquiry (CHI), a process that supports the rebalancing of an individual’s psyche. CHI also makes the thesis both intertextual and serves as a mechanism that acknowledges multiliteracies. The Cusp Generation, children born between the end of WWII (1945) and Australia’s withdrawal from Vietnam (1972), are the people I propose would benefit most from public pedagogy that tells of Australia’s history. With the release of the Australian Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody report in 1991 and the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission’s Bringing Them Home report in 1997; my work makes shared history more relevant through its direct connection with actual people rather than abstract statistics. Demonstrated by the Commonwealth Government’s continuation of ‘The Intervention’ and rejection of the ‘Uluru Statement from the Heart’, Australia is not a post-colonial nation-state and Australians, in general, need to undertake cognitive decolonisation; and truth telling, as steps that may lead to what Marcia Langton has called a ‘genuine intercultural dialogue’ (cited in Healy 1997, p. 46). 2 | P a g e Declaration 3 | P a g e Warning For this thesis to enable the tracking of racism in Australian society, it reproduces certain terms that are derogatory, offensive, and in some cases includes graphic language. I, Davina B Woods, completely reject such terms. Further, I acknowledge that there are many different practices and protocols across the First-Nations of Australia but wish to advise First-Nations- peoples that in reading this document you will be reading the names of, and seeing the images of, some who are deceased. To all readers, suggestions put forward by me in my thesis may be considered by some to be challenging; I simply hope that at some stage Australian society will be able to function better, for all, than it currently does. 4 | P a g e Acknowledgment of Country I acknowledge the peoples of the Kulin Nation on whose land I have lived since 1990. Humbly, I pay my respects to the courageous and resilient First-Nations ancestors who have paved the way. Respectfully, I acknowledge all Elders. Positively I join with other First- Nations peoples in taking responsibility to shape our shared futures. Eagerly, I anticipate the futures that the newly and yet-to-be-born generations will create, and the pride you will generate. To other Australians, my brothers and sisters through the family that is humanity, I ask for your understanding and acceptance whilst Australia, the most multi-cultural society on the planet, walks the shared journey, of finding our way on this land, this planet, our home. 5 | P a g e Acknowledgements My thanks to: My mother and my eldest cousin for giving me permission to undertake my inquiry. My late husband Ron Brown, for strongly encouraging me to commence my PhD, and organising my parents, our sons, he and I to visit Thornborough in 2009. My dawt, for continuing to encourage me to complete my thesis after her dad’s death in 2014. My sons for their support in my making of photographs as an aspect of my CHI. My cousins Ted and Margaret Davies, for their care and accommodation when I travelled north in 2011 and 2013. My little cousin (Ted and Margaret’s grandson), Brendan Bayes, a respectful young man who walked the remains of the Bump Track with me in 2013. My cousin Ricky Williamson, for yarning with me about our parallel family research. My cousins Warren (‘Woggie’) Williamson and Christine Heisener, for giving me verbal permission to include stories about their parents in my thesis. My friend of 34 years, Joann Schmider, for helping me to connect with other First-Nations peoples in Far North Queensland. My friend of 28 years, Karina McFarlane and my friend of 22 years, Dr Sue Lopez- Atkinson, for their unwavering support in too many ways to list here. My supervisory team, Professor Maureen Ryan, Professor Tarquam McKenna and Dr Mark Vicars, and Dr Diane Brown for editing the thesis according to the ACGR/IPED guidelines. Members of First-Nations communities with whom I interacted on my journeys to Far North Queensland. Finally, I thank the participants of the Healing Our Spirit Worldwide 2010 and SNAICC 2013 workshops who taught me about Creative Healing Inquiry (CHI). 6 | P a g e Dedication For those who call me Mum, Nanna, Sis, Auntie, Cuz or Jarmbee/Friend. 7 | P a g e List of Figures Figure 5.1: Purple symbols from the Phillipines Figure 5.2: Crocodiles are the Ancestors Figure 5.3: Mount Pinatubo Figure 5.4: Halibut Figure 5.5: The big-toothed fish Figure 5.6: Aboriginal flag and handprint that signifies “I have been here” Figure 5.7: The whale tails Figure 5.8: Constellations are also country Figure 5.9: Totems and words from SNAICC Figure 5.10: Some added words Figure 5.11: Totems and religious icons Figure 5.12: Torres Strait Islander headdress and symbols of their sea country Figure 5.13: The Australian Hibiscus is the flower of the Stolen Generations Figure 5.14: Sharing knowledge sharing memories Figure 5.15: Waterlily from the lakes on top of the sacred mountain Figure 5.16: Kurriyala rose from the sea with nautilus on his head Figure 5.17: Kurriyala as an eel Figure 9.1: Tindale's north-eastern Queensland, 1974 Figure 9.2: Where the generations meet Table of Contents Walking My Path ..................................................................................................................................... 1 Abstract .................................................................................................................................................... 2 Declaration ............................................................................................................................................... 3 Warning .................................................................................................................................................... 4 Acknowledgment of Country ................................................................................................................... 5 Acknowledgements ................................................................................................................................... 6 Dedication ................................................................................................................................................ 7 List of Figures .......................................................................................................................................... 8 Chapter 1 – Preparing for the Walk ...................................................................................... 19 Introduction ................................................................................................................................ 19 People ........................................................................................................................................ 21 Naming is not just black and white ....................................................................................................... 21 The Cusp Generation and public pedagogy .......................................................................................... 27 Trauma trails.......................................................................................................................................... 35 Slave or servant ...................................................................................................................................... 35 Naming people: Naming places............................................................................................................. 37 Place ........................................................................................................................................... 38 Fire ......................................................................................................................................................... 38 Songlines ................................................................................................................................................ 39 Journeying refugee or tolerated guest .................................................................................................. 41 Philosophy ................................................................................................................................