THE EROTIC REVIEW Issue 103 OCTOBER 2009 £3.00 THE GOTHIC ISSUE Ewan MORRISON: Goths Are Human Too Rebecca RILEY looks beyond the grave Nichi HODGSON: The Quest For The Crystal Crotch Jack COOKE is stuck on a spire C B LIDDELL talks erotic art with Makoto Aida Julie CHARALAMBIDES is visited by a horny devil K D GRACE will smell you out C J SIMS takes Yeats to a party Anna duBOIS: How Nancy Found Her Voice FOR PEOPLE WHO JUST CAN’T 31 Sinclair Rd HAVE ENOUGH OF A GOOD THING London W14 0NS t: 0207 371 1532 e: [email protected] 1 year: 10 issues: £25 w: www.eroticreviewmagazine.com THE EROTIC REVIE W Issue 89 MAY 2008 £3.00 THE EROTIC REVIE W DAMMIT, BUT Issue 90 JUNE 2008 £3.00 SHE’S SO NICE AND ADULT COMIC ISSUE INTELLIGENT! OH GOD, IF + SEX & HUMOUR: ONLY WE WEREN’T TRAPPED IN THE CAN THEY A 1960s ADULT COMIC WE COULD Issue 91 JUL-AUG 2008 CO-EXIST? DISCUSS SCHOPENHAUER OR EROTIC £4.50 SARTRE INSTEAD OF HAVING TO REVIEW L’ENTENTE RE - THE HAVE NON-STOP, TORRID, EROTICE ROTI C Issue 100 JUNE 2009 LESBIAN SEX! SEXUELLE: £3.00 REVIER E V I E W DOUBLE ISSUE The 100th 91 9 I 7 S 7 S 1 N 4 7 1 7 4 7 1 TAKING STOCK7 5 SEXUALISED BRITAIN:- 9 1 0 5 2 9 7 4 9 0 9 I 7 S 7 S 1 N 4 7 1 7 4 7 1 7 5 - 9 1 0 5 2 9 7 4 9 1 Your Cup Runneth Over... Subscribe to the Erotic Review and get IT’S SO EASY TO ORDER a whole year of intelligent, uncensored, Tel: FREEPHONE (UK only) literate smut delivered to your door 0800 026 25 24 for just £25. Cheaper than a night out, Tel: OVERSEAS funnier and sexier, too… 0044 1905 72 74 76 (open 8am-8pm Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm Sat) Fax: Fax your order form to 0871 575 0080 visit our new website: www.eroticreviewmagazine.com 2 THE EROTIC REVIEW 31 Sinclair Rd London W14 0NS t: 0207 371 1532 e: [email protected] THE EROTIC w: www.eroticreviewmagazine.com REVIEW Non Fiction 25 Makoto Aida The Erotic Reviews issue this inside 4 editorial portfolio 69 Michael R. Goss 5 Ewan Morrison 31 Bruno Phillips 70 Sophie Wilkinson gothic lover of goths 72 Jack Cooke 6 Peter Clark hairy grail Fiction Last Word 8 Susan Quilliam 34 Julie Charalambides 74 John Gibb gothic best one day the devil noncie boy 11 Frieda Klotz 40 Fulani NY gothic fetish this will fuck you up Smut 13 Rebecca Riley 44 Ellie Wallis 75 Melanie Brightman vampire, the buffy low profile unbridled smut slayer 47 KD Grace 17 Michael O’Shea pheromones make mine a stiff one 52 CJ Sims 19 Nichi Hodgson the second coming oh you pretty thing 57 Anna duBois 22 Jack Cooke nancy creaming spires 62 John Gibb 23 C.B. Liddell statement of witness interview: Makoto Aida 65 N.J. Streitberger nunc dimittis Editor/Publisher Administration Jamie Maclean Jan Findlater Features Editor Advertising John Gibb David Cook Contributing Editors Editorial Assistants Stephen Bayley Nichi Hodgson Copstick Jack Cooke LA Martinson Sophie Wilkinson ISSUE103 Chris Peachment and Clémence Sebag October 2009 Far East Editor ©2009 Erotic Review Ltd Colin B Liddell to advertise in ER please contact: All rights reserved. Reproduction New York Correspondent [email protected] in whole or in part without written permission is strictly prohibited. Frieda Klotz Cover Image www.eroticreviewmagazine.com by Snapper October 09 3 THE EROTIC REVIEW othic tribes (the Visis and the Ostros) got matey with the Huns and Vandals and hastened the demise of the Western Roman Empire. Gothic G architecture followed; then came Strawberry Hill’s Gothick and a group of spooky English novels and paintings; later Pugin and Ruskin had their eponymous revival; Grant Wood painted his American Gothic in the 1930s and finally those Goths arrived, that 1980s subculture that came out of Punk and relies heavily on white pancake makeup, black clothes, piercings and other BDSM accoutrements in some of the more tender parts of the anatomy. The latter day Goth culture also spawned rock bands and, yes, at last, something vaguely erotic: Tony Scott’s The Hunger, a stylish vampire movie with Deneuve, Sarandon and Bowie. In this issue Nichi Hodgson writes about another 80s Bowie movie, Labyrinth, with all the en- thusiasm and expertise of a true fan. Our resident Goth, the Sex Fiend, is on holiday. He’s chosen his usual retreat, hanging upside down in some Carpathian monastery’s bell tower by day and only venturing out to sample the local villagers at dusk. His bloodstained postcard (via Whitby) assures me that the average Transylvanian peasant’s décolletage looks immeasurably better by the gloaming’s dying light. Shame that he’s not with us to share a small ray of light that has brightened the otherwise Stygian gloom of our offices here at Der Erotischer Überblick. A man called Stan Madeley is the illuminator and he styles himself as a Richard Madeley lookalike. So far, so cool. Except that he has written to tell us that his resemblance to Mr Madeley is on the wane – this is possibly connected with the comb-over challenge that he currently faces. As a baldie myself, I can only sympathise. In a swift career change, however, he has designed a sex toy called The Love Gherkin 2. It looks like a real gherkin, has passed all of Bulgaria’s stringent safety tests, has editorial Velcro leg straps and can be plugged into the mains. It’s given Stan’s wife, Sandra, some unsurpassed clitoral stimulation. Stan’s endeavour restores one’s faith both in human nature and man’s ingenuity and courage in the face of tonsorial adversity. I think I should ask him if he’ll let me have the movie rights to his story... But really, why has the Erotic Review chosen ‘Gothic’ as this month’s theme? Apart from avoiding the potential awfulness of a Halloween issue, we thought October should be celebrated by something dark and atmospheric, like the month itself. Even as the gloom of postal strikes and world recession wins the day, there’s a hint of pursuit, a suggestion of defilement of the pure, anüber -romantic backdrop of cowled monks inhabiting shadowy crypts and crumbling mediaeval decay. Oh God, this is beginning to sound like a Dan Brown sequel. I hope you’ll find our Gothic Issue just as addictive, but a lot more credible and better written. 4 THE EROTIC REVIEW Ewan Morrison GOTHIC LOVER Goths are just like you & me once dreamt of a Gothic lover: a perfectly ‘Debby.’ terrifying femme fatale whose feet I would The coven decided to dance and so I I crawl to and caress; a Pre- Raphaelite followed, carefully studying their moves, beauty whose silences would whisper of a staring at my own feet. Hours of repeated Red dark dangerous island, called the feminine, Witches and shoegazing later, the club was forbidden to mere mortals; a woman of such over and we were ejected. I had anticipated timeless other-worldly beauty that I would be that my wooing would take weeks, nay enslaved forever. months. I was having second thoughts when Tragically, I learned that the last place one she turned to me. should look for Gothic romance is among so ‘Gees a snog.’ called ‘Goths.’ The next morning I woke beside her and You may recall this particular subculture: it discovered many things. She worked in a was the late 1980s and they were a hybrid of shoe shop; she’d never heard of Baudelaire New Romantic and Punk; they dressed head or Mary Shelley; she liked The Addams to toe in black; they crimped their hair; they family, Rice Crispies and Embassy Regal, whitened their faces and blackened their eyes; and was actually a big U2 fan, although she they wore winklepickers and listened to bands couldn’t tell her mates. She liked me ‘cos I with names like The Cure, The Damned, The was ‘normal’. Cult and Fields of the Nephilim. Most of We were only together once more and I the girls were obese, most of the guys were never saw her without her make-up. Twenty anorexic; most were vegetarian but they years later there is an old Goth Couple that I loved Vampire movies. My beloved was one see around the neighbourhood, and I wonder of their breed. if the woman could possibly be her. Her hair For months I had followed her swaying lace is flecked with grey, and beneath her long dresses. I imagined that she spoke in some grey-black skirt, she wears Nike trainers; her romantic, almost Shakespearean, tongue; I eye make-up is a few Cleopatra-like-lines thought I would woo her with Baudelaire. scored over her crows’ feet. Her partner wears One dark night in Rooftops nightclub, black and is beer-bellied and bald. Between wearing every black garment I could muster, them, hand in hand, is a child: a blonde I plucked up the courage to speak to her. haired girl of about six, always wearing pink, ‘Excuse me, what’s that you’re drinking?… bouncing along as she shops in the mall with it looks like blood.’ her parents. ‘Whit yee sayin?’ Her thick Glaswegian Maybe this was the dark secret behind the accent shocked my senses. ‘Ye gonnae buyis a Goths all along – beneath the dark veils, they pint? Can ye get wan fur ma mates an’ all?’ were perhaps even more normal than ‘normal Four pints of ‘Red Witch’ later (A people’, and that was something that was snakebite with blackcurrant) I sat among more terrifying to them than the blood and her Goth gang staring at the floor while the horror of the old Gothic tradition.