CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, NORTHRIDGE Revealing Borderland Identities: Diaspora, Memory, Home, and Art A thesis submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts in Chicana and Chicano Studies By Jessica Maria Michel Arana August 2014 Copyright by Jessica Arana 2014 ii The thesis of Jessica Arana is approved: ________________________________________________ ________________ Christina Ayala-Alcantar, Ph.D. Date ________________________________________________ ________________ Kathryn Sorrells, Ph.D. Date ________________________________________________ ________________ Yreina Cervantez, MFA, Chair Date California State University, Northridge iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS In finishing this journey, there are many people I am thankful to. It is through the guidance, patience, inspiration, and love of many that I have been able to surpass my own expectations of myself. This thesis is a combined effort, which would not have been possible without the brilliant women on my thesis committee. I have deep appreciation for my committee chair, Professor Yreina Cervantez, whose warmth and confidence in my work provided me the support I need to create this project. I am also immensely grateful for my committee member Dr. Christina Ayala-Alcantar who lovingly and consistently guided my non- linear approach so that I could complete this project and who made me feel safe so that I could speak my truth. And, to my other committee member Dr. Kathryn Sorrells who patiently listened to my identity experiences and explorations and who encouraged me to explore them through art and scholarship. I am also grateful for all the professors I have learned from and been mentored by in CSUN’s Chicana and Chicano Studies department. Thank you to my friends and family across miles, oceans, and continents that have supported me. Aimee Ziegler: thank you for putting the power of the goddess in my heart and in my head so that I could do the work required of me here. Laura Favin: thank you for helping me to find my voice. George Sanchez-Tello and Alex Sandro Salazar: you have helped me to grow academically and to find the courage to explore the Borderlands. To my family/familia who is in so much of this thesis, te quiero. My big brother David: you have so much influence on my life and work. Thank you. Mom and Dad you have supported me in so many journeys. Thank you for instilling so much love and pride in me as to who we are and where we come from. This thesis comes from your efforts. And to my new husband: Nathan Stubley. Thank you for your remarkable patience and support during this process and for your humor. I love you. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS Copyright Page ii Signature Page iii Acknowledgements iv List of Figures v Abstract ix An Autobiographical Prologue 1 I am Always Longing, Digging, Shifting, Creating 7 Introduction 26 Social Construction of Race and Ethnicity 26 Terminology 27 Mexican Diaspora Signifiers 28 Racial Identity of Chicana/os 30 My Position and Self-Identification 32 Multiracial Identity in the United States 34 Overview of Literature 47 Chicana/o Ethnic Identity Development 47 Ethnic Identity Development in Children 48 Ethnic Identity Development in Adolescence 50 Ethnic Identity Development in Young Adults 51 Latino and Latina Ethnoracial Orientations 52 Critique of Ethnic Identity Literature 56 Biracial and Multiracial Identity Development 60 Overview 61 Early Research and Foundational Models of Biracial Identity 64 Critique of Biracial Identity Development Literature 69 Multiracial Models: Ecological and Multi-Dimensional Approaches 72 Contributions and Critique of Multiracial Identity Development Literature 85 Personal Narrative 91 Diaspora 91 v Home 105 Quién Soy YoYo 116 I Am What I am 120 Flowers and Roots 121 My Four Directions 125 A Complex Identity 132 El Pilon 157 Storytelling Interlude 158 Untitled Poem 163 Methodology 164 Feminist Alternative Research Methods 166 Writing the Self 167 Arts-Based Inquiry and Artful Autoethnography 175 Who Am I 179 Methods 182 Artwork 189 Analysis 215 Image Making and Personal Texts 216 Home 219 La Facultad 221 Memory 222 Conclusion 225 Works Cited 227 vi LIST OF FIGURES Figure 1. 1. PortraitPortrait of of my my family family 22 Figure 2. 2. Abuela’s Abuela’s bedroombedroom 189189 Figure 3. 3. Wall Wall detaildetail of of mymy abuela’sabuela’s bedroombedroom 189189 FigureFigure 4. 4. Ladle Ladle and and potholder potholder 190190 FigureFigure 5. 5. Servilleta Servilleta 1 1 190190 FigureFigure 6. 6. The The lima lima tree tree 191191 Figure 7. 7. The The courtyardcourtyard 191191 Figure 8. 8. Blue Blue ceramicceramic mug mug 192192 FigureFigure 9. 9. Kitchen Kitchen drawer drawer 192192 Figure 10. 10. Blue Blue cafeteracafeteria 193193 FigureFigure 11. 11. Dorothy’s Dorothy’s letters letters to to Concha Concha 193193 FigureFigure 12. 12. Shopping Shopping bags bags 194194 Figure 13. 13. Servilleta Servilleta 2 2 194194 FigureFigure 14. 14. Kitchen Kitchen window window 195195 FigureFigure 15. 15. Corona Corona Box box 195 FigureFigure 16. 16. Concha’s Concha’s potholders potholders from from Dorothy Dorothy 196196 Figure 17. 17. Old Old white white kitchenkitchen chairchair 196196 Figure 18.18. Abuelo’sAbuelo’s machetemachete 197197 Figure 19. 19. A A candlecandle forfor ConchaConcha 197197 FigureFigure 20. 20. Folded Folded servilletas servilletas in in the the courtyard courtyard 198198 Figure 21. 21. Servilleta Servilleta 3 3 198198 Figure 22. 22. School School picturepicture on on Concha’s Concha’s wall wall 199199 Figure 23. 23. Ofrenda Ofrenda 199199 Figure 24. 24. Gas Gas tanks tanks 200 FigureFigure 25. 25. Living Living TestimonyTestimony 201 Figure 26. 26. Living Living TestimonyTestimony detail 201 FigureFigure 27. 27. Mexico Mexico 202 Figure 28. 28. Mexico Mexico detaildetail 203 Figure 29. 29. Home Home 203 FigureFigure 30. 30. Recuerdo Recuerdo 204 vii FigureFigure 31. 31. Kitchen Kitchen table table 205 Figure 32. 32. Diasporic Diasporic Separations separations 206 Figure 33. 33. Dreaming Dreaming with with Chickens Chickens 207 Figure 34.34. DreamingDreaming with with ChickensChickens detaildetail 11 207 Figure 35. 35. Dreaming Dreaming with with Chickens Chickens detaildetail 2 2 208 Figure 36. 36. Nunca Nunca Bajas Bajas La La Cabeza Cabeza. metal Milagros 209 Figure 37. 37. Autoethnographic Autoethnographic hand-made hand-made book book 210 Figure 38.38. AutoethnographicAutoethnographic hand-madehand-made book book detail detail 1 1 210 Figure 39. 39. Autoethnographic Autoethnographic hand-made hand-made book book detail detail 2 2 211 Figure 40. 40. Autoethnographic Autoethnographic hand-made hand-made book book detail detail 3 3 211 Figure 41. 41. Embroidered Embroidered drawings drawings display display 212 Figure 42. 42. Photography Photography display display 212 Figure 43. 43. Personal Personal text texts under under photographs photographs 213 Figure 44. 44. Personal Personal text texts and and photography photography display display 213 Figure 45.45. ThesisThesis presentationpresentation 214214 viii ABSTRACT Revealing Borderland Identities: Diaspora, Memory, Home, and Art By Jessica Maria Michel Arana Master of Arts in Chicana and Chicano Studies This thesis aims to critique racial identity literature and challenge normative racial constructs that omit Multiracial identity experiences. It does this by examining monoracial and Multiracial identity development research and by presenting the author’s autohistoria/autoethnography and artful actions as counter-narratives. The author’s complex experience of being Multiracial in the U.S. is revealed. Informed by Gloria Anzaldúa’s concept of the Borderlands (2007) and Chicana feminism’s resistance to fragmentation, the embodied practices of creating art and self-narratives are used as methods to (re)member and reexamine identity experiences. These acts become strategies for crossing monoracial boundaries and resisting the rigid boxing-in and labeling of racial identities. Keywords: Autohistoria, Borderlands, Chicana Art, Diaspora, Nepantla, Multiracial Identity, Mixed race ix An Autobiographical Prologue I remember my mama pouring me a cafecito (small mug of coffee) in my Mexican abuela’s1 (grandmother’s) pink kitchen; I was about seven years old and it was our first trip back to Mexico after moving to the United States. In a blend of English and Spanish, she told me it was called café con leche (milk, sugar, and just a splash of coffee). She explained that while children shouldn’t drink coffee, it was ok for us to have a cafecito (small mug of coffee) in Mexico–just a little bit.2 “Here in Mexico, they drink just a splash of coffee mixed with a little bit of sugar and milk,” she told me, while I sipped from the chipped ceramic mug. In that old kitchen just off of the patio, with my parents’ mix of English and Spanish, the feelings of both familiarity and foreignness felt like ‘home.’ The café con leche felt like ‘home’: sweet and warm, comforting, and filled with history and legend. I remember looking down into the blue and white jarra (mug), at the swirling coffee, part brown and part white. I thought to myself, it’s just like me—not one or the other but instead beautifully both. I was born in Mexico on a fall day in 1980 in the midst of San Miguel de Allende’s patron saint celebrations. The streets were filled with indigenous dancers, 1 The word abuela will henceforth appear italicized. This word means "grandmother," but the Spanish word is used and preferred in reference to my paternal Mexican grandmother as it distinguishes a difference between my American maternal grandmother. It also references the Mexican culture and Spanish language of my paternal ancestors. 2 Collectively my family taught me about Mexico, about being Mexican, our history, customs, attitudes, values, and about why and in which way we did things. I mostly remember being enculturated by my parents, although I also remember many casual kitchen-table-moments with my extended family. I remember these teachings vividly and they are important to my Multiracial identity production and self-identification.