borrowed solace 2 borrowed solace borrowed solace issue #1.2 includes works of fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and photography. For our fictional works: names, characters, places, and events are products of the authors’ imagination and creativity and thus are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, places, or events is purely coincidental. For our nonfictional works: some names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. These are the authors’ original works, any of the works not to be found original are purely the authors’ legal responsibility. borrowed solace is published by borrowed solace. All rights reserved. No part of the journal may be used or reproduced without our permission. borrowed solace has First North American Serial Rights. In three months, all rights revert back to the author. We do request archival rights. borrowed solace issue #1.2, Spring 2018 cover artwork || Taylor Burnfield back cover artwork || Heather Lewis All rights reserved by Internet Copyright Laws © 2018 3 dedication we dedicate this journal to our families and to all of the authors, poets, and artists helping us with this journal , and letting our dream lift off the ground even higher than the first journal . 4 table of contents about borrowed solace 9 letter from the editor || Nicole McConnell 11 editors 12 nonfiction introduction 15 in the air || Sarah Eshleman 16 the “accident” || Cynthia Scott Wandler 18 what i heard at the flight 93 memorial || Sarah Eshleman 33 poetry introduction 39 a heavy wistfulness || James Piatt 40 untitled || Samantha Clarke 41 3:15 AM || Erin Brady 42 shame || Jennifer Mazur 43 portland || Samantha Clarke 44 on harrow gate drive || Richard King Perkins II 45 dialectics || Emily Strauss 46 black widow || Donna Fitzgerald 47 nesting || Jessica Mehta 48 chapter on dry || Lori Levy 50 motheaten || Mickey J. Corrigan 51 5 flight 76, l.a. to d.c. || Richard Atwood 53 rhymes with... || Charlie Brice 54 butter and jam || Michael Brosnan 56 boxer’s fracture || Kyle Heger 57 once upon a bad time || Mickey J. Corrigan 58 the matter of autumn || Emily Strauss 60 joy enough to spin || Keith Moul 61 80’s tunes || Jonathan Jones 62 against coffee as the holy grail || Neall Calvert 64 fiction introduction 66 a block of lard || Eowyn Randall 67 playing with earthquakes || Emily Walling 73 those who cast stones || Brian Sweeney 76 the four dollar bionic man || Jesse Bradley 85 what everybody wants || Samantha Knight 86 pretend it isn’t destiny || L.L. Madrid 94 the last man in space || Michael Triozzi 97 autumn rain || C.R. Beaumont 100 the beautiful suicides || Annie Blake 103 6 editor biographies 105 Nicole McConnell 106 Nicole Taylor 107 Addey Vaters 108 Amber Porter 109 author interviews & biographies 110 Cynthia Scott Wandler 111 Samantha Knight 113 Donna Fitzgerald 115 Sarah Eshleman 117 Jesse Bradley 119 Martha Clarkson 120 Jennifer Mazur 122 Kyle Heger 124 C.R. Beaumont 126 Taylor Burnfield 128 Jessica Mehta 131 Lori Levy 133 Michael Triozzii 135 Samantha Clarke 137 7 Erin Brady 139 Eowyn Randall 141 James Piatt 143 Richard King Perkins II 145 Emily Walling 146 Richard Atwood 148 Annie Blake 150 Mickey J. Corrigan 153 Emily Strauss 155 Brian Sweeney 157 Heather Lewis 160 Charlie Brice 163 Michael Brosnan 166 Keith Moul 169 L.L. Madrid 171 Neall Calvert 173 Jonathan Jones 177 afterword || Nicole Taylor 179 credits 180 8 about why borrowed solace? As a group of college friends sitting around a round table every Friday for two years, we toyed around with the idea of creating a blog, a collective book of stories, a website, a journal or a magazine, and so many more things. The last semester, when most of us were graduating, our dreams finally became a reality. We created a website. We created a blog and social media pages. We launched the submissions and began our journey. But before all of that happened, we first took two words we liked and smashed them together to create borrowed solace, but the meaning goes even deeper than that. If you notice the initials are a part of a literary rambling we wanted to gather and then release into the world one word at a time. To borrow the works of others for others’ solace. To comfort, to soothe, to put people in a better mood. We pledge to you this is a bunch of bs, but we love our name and who we are because of the words we choose to live by and these are two of them. how is the journal published? We intend to publish two online versions a year. Our Spring edition will be our un-themed journal. Our Fall edition will be our themed journal. We will accept submissions from April to July and October to December with our journals coming out in September and March. Submissions come through our website at borrowedsolace.com. We collect four genres: fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and art. We pick selections based on the magic they create, the way they engage us as readers and as writers, making us crave more, and that allows us to walk alongside the authors while reading. 9 continued Our dream goal is to publish two online journals a year, and a printed version of the best stories from that year. Right now, we publish two online versions of each journal. A teaser for free, and a small fee for all of the stories, plus the bonus content of interviews from the authors, poets, and artists, and craft essays. The journals are sold online at our website borrowedsolace.com. who are we and what we are about? We come from all different backgrounds and we each have our own stories, but our passions and interests drive us to the same conclusion. We love writing. We love reading. We love the power and magic of words. We are based in Colorado Springs, Colorado because that is where we all met. One of us was born in California, one in Iowa, and two in different parts of Colorado. But we all converged in one state, in one city, at one college, with one dream. Our dream is to build up the world with words others said, written, forced out, given to us, lent us. So we can share them with the rest of the publishing world of oceans. The vast blue waters filled with hundreds of sto- ries and poems, with thousands of words, and millions of alphabet letters, and our journal is one ship among the many. A ship to tread the waters, scooping the finer stories out from the new and old authors. Foolish and wise creators and composers of the trade. We are the sailors, the dreamers underneath the stars, and this journal is our borrowed solace. This is what we are about. 10 letter from editor Spring is my favorite season for two reasons: one, Iowa has cold harsh winters—so winter is over! Two, I get to see nature be revived for the thousandth time. In Iowa, everything goes dormant for the winter. The trees are bare and brown, the grass brown, the fields, hills, and river are brown. Everything looks bleak, so when spring arrives—the sun chases the dreadful wintery brown to begone. The buds on the trees give me hope. The chirps of the golden finches and screams of the eagles relax me into the humid summer to come. The smell of black dirt and trac- tors at work give me optimism that nothing can turn into something. And that something can turn into a creation from those who planted a seed. The rain falls down its thunder, and the sun- shine allows the seed from the soil to rise into an orange sunflower. These stories and poems are the sunflowers in a field in which the editors are the soil, rain, thunder, and sun. Please enjoy this spring creation, and the beauty that comes from as writing comes from the moment captured of exquisiteness. —executive & art editor, Nicole McConnell 11 executive editor & art editor Nicole McConnell fiction editor Amber Porter nonfiction editor Nicole Taylor poetry editor Addey Vaters 12 Spring creaks awake like a rusty gate hinge shaking earth from its slumber and causing life to bloom again . 13 nonfiction 14 nonfiction introduction Often it is said that the truth is better than a lie. This, however, does not make truth merciful. Truth is frequently more stinging, biting, and exhausting than a lie. Dealing with the truth is a rich and complex experience that is both haunting and inspiring. In the following pages, you will find three compelling pieces dealing with hope, tragedy, and human experience. Each of these works contains a truth that speaks to the reader through elegantly crafted prose packed with striking imagery. These pieces are such stark pictures of experience carefully wrought with raw emotion that they will move you. I encourage this movement, this momentum will push the reader into an unfamiliar space. Embrace the push, travel with the authors as they take you through a roller coaster of emotion. I hope you enjoy these lovely works as much as I do. —nonfiction editor, Nicole Taylor 15 in the air * Over the revving engines, I can barely hear Sarah Eshleman the flight attendant’s safety speech. But I’m sure she will say, “Be sure to secure your oxygen mask before helping children or other passengers with If we can believe tree rings, the plaque says theirs.” I remember this instruction from previous that the giant redwood, from which this cross sec- flights because it remarkably reconciles everything tion was taken, germinated in AD 528, a thoroughly mean and noble in our society.