A LEAF IN THE WIND A Life's Journey Venerable Thubten Gyatso (Adrian Feldmann) Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive • Boston LamaYeshe.com A non-profit charitable organization for the benefit of all sentient beings and an affiliate of the Foundation for the Preservation of the Mahayana Tradition First published 2005 by Lothian Books, Melbourne Ebook published 2015 by Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive Copyright Adrian Feldmann 2005 Cover designed by Gopa&Ted2, Inc. Ebook ISBN 978-1-891868-64-1 LIW-2015-v3 2 The Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive Bringing you the teachings of Lama Yeshe and Lama Zopa Rinpoche This ebook is made possible by kind supporters of the Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive who, like you, appreciate how LYWA makes the teachings of Lama Yeshe and Lama Zopa Rinpoche freely available in myriad formats, including on the Archive website for researching, listening, reading and downloading, shared daily with our social media communities, and distributed worldwide as audio books, ebooks and free books. 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Thank you so much and please enjoy this ebook. 3 TABLE OF CONTENTS A LEAF IN THE WIND The Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive ...................................................................................... 3 Acknowledgements ................................................................................................................ 6 Introduction ............................................................................................................................ 7 Map of Afghanistan and Pakistan ...................................................................................... 11 Map of the Indus River ....................................................................................................... 12 Part one: On the river Birth of the wanderlust ........................................................................................................ 14 Magical mystery tour ............................................................................................................ 22 The Northwest Frontier ...................................................................................................... 27 Blending in ............................................................................................................................ 31 Dancing with shadows ........................................................................................................ 36 Spirit of the Indus ................................................................................................................ 42 Mr Big .................................................................................................................................... 49 Tao Indus .............................................................................................................................. 53 Dolphins and bandits .......................................................................................................... 63 The magic flute ..................................................................................................................... 68 Lessons on the river ............................................................................................................. 71 Farewell to Hans .................................................................................................................. 76 Two weddings and an island .............................................................................................. 81 Family of the Indus .............................................................................................................. 87 The end of the beginning .................................................................................................... 94 Another reality ...................................................................................................................... 97 Part two: Confronting reality The coming home syndrome ........................................................................................... 104 The cuckoo’s nest............................................................................................................... 109 Letters from Kathmandu .................................................................................................. 113 The Garden of Eden ......................................................................................................... 116 Fall from Paradise .............................................................................................................. 122 Part three: Transformation A tale of two lamas ............................................................................................................ 126 Back to Asia ........................................................................................................................ 134 The key ................................................................................................................................ 137 Meeting the lama ................................................................................................................ 148 Checking up ........................................................................................................................ 151 Return to Europe ............................................................................................................... 158 Men are so cruel ................................................................................................................. 164 Slaying the ego .................................................................................................................... 170 Sand, surf and bed bugs .................................................................................................... 175 Licking honey off a razor blade ....................................................................................... 177 4 Laughing Waters ................................................................................................................. 180 Actors on the stage of life ................................................................................................. 185 Part four: Ordination The ego ................................................................................................................................ 189 In Lama Yeshe’s hands ..................................................................................................... 191 The monk ............................................................................................................................ 193 The test ................................................................................................................................ 202 In the shadow of death...................................................................................................... 211 Epilogue ............................................................................................................................... 216 Postscript ............................................................................................................................. 218 Notes .................................................................................................................................... 237 About the author ................................................................................................................ 238 Previously published by LYWA ....................................................................................... 239 Other teachings by Lama Yeshe and Lama Zopa Rinpoche ....................................... 240 About LYWA ..................................................................................................................... 241 About FPMT ...................................................................................................................... 243 What to do with Dharma teachings ................................................................................ 245 Dedication ........................................................................................................................... 246 Sign up for the LYWA Eletter ......................................................................................... 247 Browse LYWA Ebooks and Audio Books..................................................................... 248 Connect with LYWA ......................................................................................................... 249 5 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to thank Garrey and Kris, my closest companions in life, for their encouragement to complete this manuscript, and their sketches and photographs; Adele Hulse, for allowing me to use information about the early lives of Lama Thubten Yeshe and Lama Zopa Rinpoche from her forthcoming biography of Lama Thubten Yeshe; Anila Jinpa, for advice on the first draft while we were in Mongolia; Helen Manos for her patience in helping me revise the entire manuscript, for her generosity and wonderful hospitality while I worked on the text, and for her strong encouragement to continue; Alison Ribush, for her encouragement and for introducing me to Lothian Books; Magnolia Flora at Lothian Books, for her many excellent suggestions and her great patience in working with me on the final draft; and finally I would like to thank Sue Grose-Hodge for editing the manuscript. 6 INTRODUCTION